A Friendship Blossoms
by cougshupe
Summary: COMPLETE! Please chose your ending, Chapter 34 is PG13 and Chapter 35 is R, but both end the same. MS with several obstacles trying to prevent the happy couple from getting together.
1. Revelations

_Timeline: Immediately after the 4th season finale. However, I used my author's liberty to start the show on a Monday, despite the show airing on Thursdays._

_Disclaimer: I do not own any of the characters from "Without a Trace," but the ideas are mine._

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A Friendship Blossoms

Chapter 1 – Revelation 

Monday Late Night, May 24, 2004 

The cab ride to Samantha's apartment was spent in awkward silence. Martin had made several overtures in the past, but after receiving only brush-offs her invitation was a surprise. He didn't know what she was thinking. He had saved her life tonight, perhaps she was caught up in the moment. Or maybe she was looking for someone to fill a temporary void in her life, after all she had admitted that her feelings for Jack never went away, they had just faded. Martin knew he wanted a relationship with Samantha, he didn't want to be just a distraction for her.

After arriving at Samantha's apartment, Martin took off his jacket and looked around. No pictures of family or friends, it was a cold and impersonal apartment, not what he'd imagined. Then he realized that despite all he'd learned this week he didn't know much about Samantha Spade.

Samantha had disappeared into the kitchen and returned with two beers, one of which she handed to Martin. "Thanks," he said as his mind searched for innocent small talk to break the interminable silence. He asked, "So, big night. You're going to have a nasty bruise."

"Yeah, thanks, again, for saving my life I mean, not giving me a bruise." But she didn't feel grateful, she was upset. Why did he have to bring up today when she had been vulnerable. She was an FBI agent and should be capable of taking care of herself. However, she admitted to herself that she had definitely needed help in the last two years.

And she didn't bring Martin here to express her gratitude, she needed him. Since she had heard the news that Jack was leaving there had been an emptiness within her that ached to be filled. She needed someone, needed to be wanted. She hoped that Martin would fill that need, at least for tonight. She took Martin's beer from his hand and set both of the bottles on the table. She stood within inches of him, her face tilted upward, her eyes focused on his lips. She trembled and wished that Martin would just grab her and kiss her, hard, maybe that would stop the trembling. But he wasn't moving. Not good, but not bad either, at least he wasn't backing away. Here goes nothing, she thought.

Samantha raised herself onto her tiptoes and her lips brushed against his, softly, waiting for a response, any response. Finally, Martin acted, he leaned forward into the kiss and wrapped his arms around her. The kiss was soft at first and then passion overtook them.

After a moment they both loosened their embrace. Martin took a step back and gazed into Samantha's eyes. Samantha stepped toward Martin to close the gap he had created, eager for a second helping, but he held her at bay. "Wait a minute. This is big," Martin stated. "This is really big. What's going to happen after we you know …?"

Samantha moved closer. She didn't want to think about the future, she only cared about the present and the need that she felt inside. "I don't know, does it matter? This feels right, doesn't it? Go with it Martin, be spontaneous for once." She tried again to kiss him, but he backed away.

"No, no it doesn't feel right. Look Samantha, I don't know what I think might happen between us, but I've learned a lot about you this past week. Stuff that showed me you may still have feelings for someone else, someone who's not available. I'm wondering if you're just now realizing that and feel lonely tonight and, and I was there." Breath, breath, he told himself.

Samantha had finally backed away from him. She looked hurt and who could blame her. He'd just told her she was still in love with Jack, a married man who didn't chose her and was instead trying to make his marriage work. In fact, Samantha was hurt and stunned and upset, too upset to realize that what Martin was saying could be true.

Oh, great, that silence again, Martin thought. He tried to wait for her to break the silence and answer his attack, but Samantha remained quiet, in fact it looked like a tear might be forming in her eye. He could hold it in no longer, "I don't want to be a replacement for … for Jack. I want you to want _me_, not want me just because I'm here."

Samantha still hadn't said a word and Martin feared that he was right, he was just a replacement, in the right place at the right time.

Finally, she spoke and her words were venomous, "Well, if that's way you feel, that I'll use anyone available as my little toy so that I don't feel alone and unloved, then I guess you should leave." How dare he accuse her of still loving Jack, that had been over two years ago, she'd dated lots of guys since then and they weren't replacements. She worked with Jack every day and how could she have done that if she was still in love with him.

Martin recoiled knowing he'd hit a nerve and knowing that he was right. It saddened him though, to know that Samantha was still hung up on Jack and that until she moved on she would not find happiness. He tried to apologize for the way he delivered the message, but not for its meaning, but the words came out hollow.

Samantha went to the door and forcefully pulled it open. Her eyes burned into him as he walked past her, she wanted him out of her apartment and out of her life. He still wanted to say something, to make their friendship right again, for it had gone through many stages in the short evening. No matter what had happened tonight he was still smitten with her and was disheartened by the setback that had started off with so much promise.

However, he left without another word and walked out into the city. It had begun to rain and for that he was grateful, the cold driving rain was depressing, it matched his mood.

TBC


	2. Reflection

Chapter 2 – Reflection 

Monday Late Night, May 24, 2004 

Samantha was furious with Martin and didn't know how to comfort herself, but that need to be wanted was still with her. She thought of going to the bar on the corner and finding someone who would want her, but then it hit her. If she wanted a guy to comfort her now, perhaps that's what Martin had been, just a guy to comfort her, exactly as he had said. But a part of her wouldn't let her accept that idea because Martin was a friend, or had been before tonight, and she wouldn't use a friend like that, would she?

Now doubt filled her head, if Martin had been right, or at least in the ballpark, about why she had invited him here could he be right about her feelings for Jack. It was insane though, she thought, to love someone far after they returned any feelings for you, or, hell, even acknowledged that any feelings had been there in the past. Jack had made it perfectly clear to her and to everyone that he was going to make his marriage work and he was even moving to Chicago for the family.

When was she going to move on? What was I expecting from Jack, what have I been waiting for, she asked herself. She wanted to blame Jack, but knew that he was not at fault. She needed to talk to someone, to verbalize her thoughts and have someone listen, but who. She looked around her apartment for inspiration and noticed the lack of photos as Martin had earlier. She had no family to turn to, no older wiser siblings to seek advice from, she had driven away anyone who had tried to befriend her over the years telling herself that her job was her life. A friendly neighbor? No, she had not made any effort to meet them since she moved in. She felt alone and miserable and stupid. The only person she could talk to was the person she had just ordered out of her apartment, out of her life, and for what, for pointing out the truth to her that she was too blind and too stubborn to see. And now she had to swallow her pride and call him because she had no one else.

She reached for the phone and began to dial, but tears welled up in her eyes as she imagined Martin picking up the other end and hanging up on her when she tried to speak. Why would he listen to her after she had thrown him out, been so cruel to him? She decided to call Vivian, after all she knew about her affair with Jack and probably knew that she was still harboring feelings for him. It must be obvious around the office. But as she dialed Vivian, she knew that Viv would not be able to help her. She had never approved of the relationship and would only be judgmental and that is definitely not what she needed now. Her thoughts drifted back to Martin and again she began to dial his number, quickly, get it over with she thought, but her fingers would not follow her commands.

She rose to replace the phone and saw Martin's jacket that he had left here when she forced him to leave. She picked it up and breathed in the deep smell of the leather with just a hint of Martin's cologne. She wrapped herself in the jacket and sat back on the couch. She thought that she would never get to sleep that night, but her swirl of emotions through the entire day must have wiped her out because the next thing she knew the phone was ringing and sunlight was streaming in the window.

She picked up the phone and heard Vivian's voice.

"Samantha, are you all right?" Vivian asked concerned.

"Vivian?" Samantha tried to orient herself quickly, shaking the sleep from her head.

"Yes, it's Vivian. I was worried about you, you didn't come in or call this morning."

"Oh, what time is it? I just woke up to the phone," Samantha stated.

"It's nearly eleven, we are supposed to go do the Weaver interview at eleven."

"Oh, Viv, I forgot, I can't believe I slept so long, it was a trying day yesterday. I'll meet you there, no I'll never make it, can you go with Danny or Martin?" Samantha was now running around her apartment trying to get ready with one hand on the phone. She had never been late to work before and today of all days.

"Yeah, I already asked Danny to go, but you need to come in and help Martin with those bank statements."

The idea of being alone with Martin for hours pouring over bank records did not appeal to her, but it was her fault. If she'd been on time she would be conducting an interview with Viv instead. She felt foolish about being alone with Martin, especially when she looked down and saw that she was still wearing his jacket. Finally, she responded to Vivian, "Yeah, I can help with that, I'll be in as soon as possible. Thanks for the call Viv." Then as an afterthought she asked, "Is Jack in the office today? Does he know I'm late?"

Vivian replied, "No, Jack took the day off. I assume he was going to try to finish packing. His last day is Friday, they're leaving soon."

"OK, see you later Viv, thanks again."

Samantha hung up the phone and rushed to get ready.

TBC


	3. Friends?

Chapter 3 – Friends? 

Tuesday Day, May 25, 2004 

Samantha stopped and grabbed two sandwiches before meeting Martin to review the records. The sandwich was a sort of peace offering to break the ice since the night before. Her stomach was a tangled mess of nerves and she just hoped that Martin would talk to her.

Martin was already in the conference room with piles of documents spread before him. He looked up as she entered and actually smiled at her. She was blown back that he could still be happy to see her. She immediately smiled back and offered him the sandwich, "Thought we'd better fuel up before we get too buried in documents." However, he failed to reach for the offering and the smile faded.

"Look, Samantha, about last night, I'm sorry, I was out of line. I shouldn't have said what I said, I don't know what I'm talking about." Phew, breath, he told himself. "I just, it was a long day yesterday and I, um, …"

"No, Martin, you were right," she interrupted. "I just couldn't see it. You were right about a lot of things, things I'm still trying to sort out." She continued, "I'm just glad that you're still speaking to me after how I treated you."

Martin looked hurt and responded, "Of course I'm still talking to you, we're still friends aren't we. I mean, friends have disagreements, but still stay friends."

"Well," Samantha stammered, "I'm not really a friend expert. I started to think about what you said last night and some of it made sense so I picked up the phone to call someone to talk to about it, but I didn't have anyone to call. In fact, I almost called you," she confessed.

"But you didn't. You should have, I felt horrible and didn't sleep all night," Martin said scoldingly.

"Well, maybe some other time. We'd better get some work done." And with that Samantha pulled a file close to her and Martin finally reached for his sandwich. She felt relieved to have talked about last night, however she still had many issued to deal with and didn't feel any closer to resolving them.

TBC


	4. Definitely Friends

Chapter 4 – Definitely Friends 

Tuesday Night, May 25, 2004 

Martin and Samantha had worked diligently for hours pouring over bank statements and were both weary when they finally called it a night without finding anything significant. Vivian and Danny had returned from their interview without any new leads and the whole team was downhearted about not finding the female doctor who had gone missing the day before. Nobody wanted to go to the bar after work, but instead all headed to their own homes.

Samantha had been home for a half hour when the buzzer rang. She spoke into the intercom and a familiar male voice announced he had a pizza delivery. "Come on up Martin," she said.

"Aw, shucks, you knew it was me, or do you call all of your male visitors Martin in the hopes that I've come to see you?" Uh-oh, thought Martin, maybe I shouldn't be flirting even jokingly right now, we are not on the most solid ground yet. But the words had already been said and he thought that he'd heard Samantha laugh at his joke. The door buzzed open and he took his pizza up the stairs to her place.

She opened the door and was surprised that he actually had a pizza with him. "And to what do I owe this unexpected visit. Didn't get enough of me this afternoon, huh?" Uh-oh, Samantha thought, maybe I shouldn't be flirting even jokingly right now, I don't know exactly where our friendship stands. But the words had already been said and Martin was still smiling.

Martin responded, "I think that I'm missing a jacket and I distinctly remember leaving here without it, it was cold last night."

"Oh, yeah, it's here somewhere." Samantha knew exactly where the jacket was and hoped that Martin wouldn't think it odd that she was retrieving his jacket from her bedroom where she took it off this morning in her rush. She tried to stall, "Why don't you take the pizza into the kitchen and get some plates from the cupboard. I'll look around for your jacket."

Samantha waited until he was in kitchen before rushing into the bedroom, but the room was a mess due to this morning's fiasco. Finally, she found the jacket underneath the clothes she had slept in. She breathed a sigh of relief and turned to hurry back into the living room, but there in the doorway of her bedroom was Martin, holding a plate of pizza for her. "So how long have you been standing there?" she asked, hoping to sound innocent.

Martin had a smirk upon his face, "Long enough to know that my jacket, which I left draped across a chair in your dining room last night, was underneath your clothes in your bedroom tonight. However, I'm going to let you off the hook for now because I want you to come enjoy a piece of pizza and then when I leave tonight, maybe I'll forget my jacket again so I'll have another excuse to come and see you."

Samantha knew that she was blushing profusely, but couldn't help herself and couldn't do anything about it, so she took Martin's advice and went to the kitchen to enjoy her pizza.

"So, not to sound ungrateful, but what are you really doing here. You could have asked me to bring your jacket to the office." Samantha was trying to pry, poking and prodding to see if he was here to talk to her like she had hinted at this afternoon.

To her surprise, he was very direct, "I'm here because you need someone to talk to and I'm a good listener, despite my actions last night." Martin had taken charge, he took his food into the living room and sat on the couch. Samantha had nothing to do but follow. As she sat down he said, "Let's start with Jack. I don't know all of the history, but that doesn't matter. What does matter is how you feel and have felt since you broke off your affair."

WOW, no wading in, this was diving into the deep end of the pool. But with Martin looking at her so calmly and matter of fact she didn't feel scared. In fact, her words and feelings and emotions came pouring out so fast that she was afraid she would overwhelm Martin. But he was just the contrary, his face remained solid and non-judgmental, he listened and let her talk without interruption.

Samantha began with her revelations of last night, after Martin had left and she was alone. She revealed to him that she had always hoped Jack and Maria would not make it, that he would divorce Maria and declare his love for her. But she realized that she'd never though of how their relationship would change after he left Maria. Maybe because she knew it wouldn't ever happen or perhaps she didn't want to get her hopes up until it did happen, but now, in the comfort of Martin's gaze she allowed herself to go beyond the divorce. She couldn't openly date her boss, that is a federal rule breaker. One of them would have to transfer and she's not the head of the unit, she'd have to leave Vivian and Danny and Martin. He'd undoubtedly have custody of his kids some weeks or weekends and she'd have to interact with them and they are old enough to know that she's the "other woman." Putting all of the reality into the relationship made her realize that her affair with Jack two years earlier had been carried on outside of reality. A fantasy relationship for both of them, giving each of them only what they desired and leaving out any unpleasantness.

Finally, Martin interjected, "OK, so you've looked at the work involved to have a relationship with Jack, but you've avoided talking about your feelings for Jack. All real relationships are going to take work, but what matters is whether you love each other."

Samantha continued to be amazed by Martin's attitude. She knew that he had feelings for her, but he was able to set all of that aside and listen to her expose her feelings for another man. And on top of that he was encouraging her to follow those feelings despite the rationality of them. So she took a deep breath and tried to search her mind and her heart to find out if she loved Jack or not.

Samantha remained silent for along time and Martin hoped that he had not pushed her too hard. He knew that he had taken control and believed that he'd done the right thing, but there was a line and perhaps with his last request of her he'd crossed it. He tried to think of how to ease away from it, but still get her to respond. He said, "How did you feel about Jack two years ago? Let's start there."

He saw a smile broaden across her face. Samantha was remembering the happy times with Jack back then, though she still said nothing. Martin prodded again, "Did you love him?" Martin braced himself for a yes and knew it would come despite how much he wanted to hear the opposite.

She couldn't look at him, so she looked at her hands in her lap. Slowly she nodded her head and spoke, "Yes, I think I was in love with him, the only time I've ever been in love. But …" she paused.

Martin fought the urge to jump in, knowing that she'd get around to finishing the statement.

"But," she repeated, "if we only shared the good times and weren't having a real relationship, could I really have loved him?" With this, she raised her head and looked questioningly into Martin's eyes.

Martin thought she looked innocent and confused and beautiful. He wanted to help her, but what did he know about love. He'd had even less experience with it that she had, at least she thought she had been in love once.

Samantha kept talking, "And if I didn't really love him then, I couldn't possibly love him now, right?"

Martin wished she were really looking for an answer, he wanted to shout, "No, you shouldn't love him, you should love me. I'll be here for you, I won't make you the 'other' woman." But he knew that she had to work out these answers for herself. So instead of answering her question with words he reached out to her and touched her for the first time since their kiss last night, but he knew that so much had changed since last night that he didn't know if he'd ever get to kiss her again. He pulled her close to him and then she laid her head in his lap, thoughts swirling around in her head, tears still falling down her face. He stroked her hair and whispered that it would be alright. Soon, her crying stopped and her breathing was regular, she had fallen asleep and Martin couldn't bear to wake her so he settled in for the night.

TBC


	5. The Morning After

Chapter 5 – The Morning After 

Wednesday Early Morning, May 26, 2004 

Sometime during the night, Samantha woke up and it took her a moment to realize where she was. It startled her to see Martin and that she had been sleeping on him. He was still sitting up, his head lolled off to the left. "Boy he was going to have a sore neck tomorrow," she thought. She got up, careful not to wake him and saw that it was three in the morning. She couldn't wake him up now and send him home. She eased his legs onto the couch and arranged him in more or less laid down position, she didn't want to move him too much and risk waking him. He looked so peaceful and he'd been there for her when she really needed someone. She unfolded a blanket and draped it over him, turned out the light, and headed to her own room.

The alarm rang a few hours later and she tiptoed into the living room. It didn't appear that Martin had moved at all, "Good," she thought, "at least he'll be rested." She started a pot of coffee to brew and went to gently rouse him.

"Martin, Martin," she said as she touched his arm with a tender shake, "it's time for you to wake up."

As he slowly turned toward her and opened his eyes she said, "Somehow we both fell asleep, but it's morning now and we have to get ready for work." He was now looking at himself, still in his shirt and slacks from the day before, finally comprehending that he had been sleeping on the couch. She continued talking, "I think that if you get up now, you have time for a cup of coffee and you can still make it to your home to change for work. Sorry that I don't have breakfast for you, but that would take more time and I wanted to let you get as much sleep as possible. I kept you up pretty late with my rantings last night."

Martin still hadn't said a word and Samantha was rethinking her decision of letting him sleep here last night. She figured that he was probably furious that he'd have to rush around this morning. But then he spoke, his voice soft, his words caring, "How are you this morning? Did you actually get some sleep?"

She stopped bustling around and turned toward him, "Yeah, I think I really did sleep, … thanks to you." She came to the couch and Martin moved over to make room for her to sit. She looked into his eyes and tried to express how thankful she was to him, but the words were awkward coming out of her mouth. "Thanks for, I mean, I appreciate, I just needed someone to listen and you, even though we almost, but you let me talk, about Jack I mean, even though you… Arghh, this is not coming out very well."

And with that Martin laughed, "No thanks is necessary. I'm glad you could talk to me and I hope you know it was not a one time deal, you still have lots to figure out and I'll be here for you for those talks too." He smiled at her and then looked at his watch.

She expected him to bolt off the couch and head for the door, but instead he lay back down and said, "Five more minutes, mom, just five more minutes."

Samantha laughed, glad to be at ease with Martin. She went to the kitchen and poured two cups of coffee and left his black like she knew he liked it. She carried the cups into the living room and finally Martin sat up. She asked, "Don't you need to get going, I mean, you can't show up to work in that wrinkled suit. Think of the rumors I could start."

"Don't worry about it. I've got an extra suit at the gym at the office, I'll just swing by there and shower and change, that way I don't have to waste an hour in traffic getting home and back to the office," he explained.

Samantha recoiled, "Oh, you do this sort of thing often huh, stay the night somewhere other than home."

Martin thought she looked hurt, even though she had no claim on him, but he set the record straight anyway. "No, I always thought it would be a good idea, however, I've never actually had to use the extra suit. What kind of a guy do you think I am?" he teased with her to set her at ease again. "So what's for breakfast?"

Samantha was relieved to learn that Martin didn't make a habit of sleeping at others' homes, but she didn't know why it should matter to her. Her thoughts returned to the present and she replied to Martin's question, "The usual, stale donuts from the lounge at the office. You're sleeping here hasn't turned me into a domestic goddess yet." She laughed and walked to the bedroom to get ready.

TBC


	6. Jack's News

Chapter 6 – Jack's News 

Wednesday Day, May 26, 2004 

To Samantha's surprise, Martin beat her to the office. Having an extra suit at the gym was a good idea. She thought, "Maybe I should try that too, just in case I have to spend the night somewhere," and a smile filled her face.

As she walked in Vivian was coming out of Jack's office. "Jack must be back today to try to finish up last minute details before transferring," she thought. Even though she hadn't figured out her feelings toward Jack yet, she knew that she would be sad that she wouldn't see him everyday at the office. He was a great agent and she had learned a lot from him.

She walked to her desk and set down her purse just as Jack stepped out of his office and called to Samantha, "Sam, can I see you in my office please."

She raised her head toward him and replied, "Yes, in a minute." She assumed he was doing the typical good-byes to everyone individually, since Vivian had just come out. She walked past Martin's desk on her way into Jack's office and said good morning to him without trying to act like she'd already seen him this morning in her own apartment. Even though nothing was going on between them, the situation seemed weird and she didn't want anyone to know that Martin had been there last night.

She stepped into Jack's office, "Morning, Jack." She glanced around the office and realized that he had a lot of packing left to do; there were half-empty boxes all about.

"Good morning, Sam. Could you sit down please," he pointed to an empty chair and he perched himself on the edge of his desk in front of her.

His voice sounded almost ominous and immediately Samantha thought something was wrong. "I've got some news and I'm telling everyone later, but I wanted to talk to you individually," he began. She crinkled up her brow as she tried to think of a reason that she would be singled out of a group discussion and of course her thoughts raced to their past relationship.

"What is it Jack?" she asked.

"Well, I'm not moving to Chicago and I'm going to stay here as the head of this unit," he blurted.

"What? Not moving, but Maria, her job. Did she decide not to take the job in Chicago?" Samantha questioned.

"No, well yes, she's not taking the job in Chicago, but it's not so that I can keep my job here. She, well, she only accepted the Chicago job because she thought that there was no way that I would leave New York. If I refused to follow her to Chicago she'd have a great reason for a divorce and I'd be the bad guy. However, I threw a big wrench in her plans so she finally told me that she didn't want to be married anymore." There he had said it, he had told Samantha that he was getting a divorce. He wondered what was going on in her head, what was she thinking. He knew that this is what she wanted two years ago, but that was a long time ago, how did she feel about him now?

Samantha tried to understand what Jack was saying, "So, she was going to move to Chicago to get out of the marriage and make you out to be the horrible husband? The nerve. And she really thought that you'd let her go and take the kids while you stayed here, does she think you really care that little about them?"

Jack's heart soared, Samantha was taking his side; she was defending him and criticizing Maria for scheming. Although, he had tried to make his marriage work, it had been more for the kids than for him. He never fully gave his heart to Maria after his affair with Samantha and now, finally, the decision had been made, they were getting a divorce.

"So, do you mean she's not moving to Chicago?" Samantha's question jolted Jack from the clouds where he was soaring. Back to reality and back to Samantha.

He responded, "Well, she doesn't really want to move and the kids are happy here and this way we won't have to work out some confusing custody plan involving travel. It's really best for all of us." As Jack said this he looked up at Samantha and into her eyes. She heard the words 'all of us' and felt his glance and didn't know who he was including in that 'all.' Was he hinting that he was finally free of his marriage to pursue past endeavors.

Samantha's head was swirling with thoughts and she was glad to be sitting because she didn't know if her legs would hold her up right now. So much had happened this week, too much. Unconsciously, she glanced out the office window toward Martin's desk, but he was not there. Jack saw the glance, but assumed he was looking at Vivian since she was standing in her line of sight. Jack misinterpreted the glance and hurriedly said, "Oh, Vivian, and the promotion. Yes, well, I told her this morning that management still wants to promote her, but they'll put her in a different division. They gave her the choice of the promotion or staying in this unit, but accepting a demotion back to her previous status."

Samantha heard the words, but they didn't concern her too much at this point. Oh, she hoped that Vivian would stay in their unit, but her own thoughts were crowding out everything else. She needed to know what Jack was feeling and what he wanted, if anything, from her. Perhaps she was reading too much into his statements given that she'd just spent the entire evening talking about him and her and the past and the present.

Samantha jerked herself back to reality and forced herself to look at Jack. She searched his eyes hoping to find a clue, a hint, as to what he was thinking. But she couldn't decipher his thoughts any more now than when she had been with him. Finally she asked, "So Jack, why did you want to tell me before you told the group?"

Jack felt uneasy, unsure of himself. He wondered how much he should reveal to Samantha. It had been two years and he knew that she had dated other guys, but none of the relationships had stuck. He opened his mouth to answer, unaware of what he was going to say, "Sam, I wanted to tell you because, well, because …" Jack's phone rang, both Samantha and Jack turned, startled by the interruption. Jack was also grateful, he looked apologetically toward Samantha, "I have to take this call, we'll talk later, OK?"

Samantha reacted to Jack's statement by getting up and leaving the office, but she was not OK. Jack had told her individually for a reason, him leaving Maria changed the situation. She needed another talk, but she didn't want to subject Martin to another round so quickly and besides he wasn't at his desk. She had rejected calling Vivian earlier, but her choices were limited.

TBC


	7. Vivian's Advice

Chapter 7 – Vivian's Advice 

Wednesday Day, May 26, 2004 

Samantha approached Vivian at her desk and asked her to step into the lounge to talk more privately. Vivian had seen Samantha come out of Jack's office and assumed that Jack had told her about staying.

Samantha thought she'd focus on Vivian for just a bit before jumping into her issues. She began, "I'm sorry about the position Viv, you'd have been a great team leader, I'd have liked to work for you. Do you know which job you're going to take?"

Vivian looked flattered, "Thank you for that, it's nice to hear. No, I don't know what I'm going to do. The promotion would be good for my career and my pocketbook, but I'm happy here. Jack said I have some time to think about it."

"I just can't believe what Maria did to him, trying to make him out to be the bad guy in this," Samantha voiced her opinion. "I mean, sure, he's not the world's greatest dad and husband, but he provides and he cares, he really cares about his kids."

Vivian jumped to Jack's defense too, "Yeah, it's this job, it is definitely not family friendly. And I should know."

Samantha was running out of conversation, but didn't know how to approach her question. It shouldn't be that difficult, Martin had made it so easy to talk to him and this should be the same; Vivian was just a friend and she was just going to ask a friend some advice. "So, Jack made a point of telling me about his divorce before the whole group knew."

"Yes, so …" Vivian mused, "He told me too."

"Well," Samantha continued, "well, do you think he had any special reason for wanting me to know, like, he wanted to talk to you about your promotion. Or do you think that he thought I'd react, oh, I don't know, differently than everyone else?"

Vivian sighed and thought, "This again, I thought that we'd gotten past this inappropriate relationship. Better nip it in the bud before Samantha makes of fool of herself again," Vivian decided. "Samantha, yes, Jack probably thought that you'd react differently than everyone else, and lo and behold you have. You're reading too much into this. Telling you individually does not mean that he wants to renew any relationship with you. That was two years ago, haven't you moved on?"

Samantha was stung and immediately had to bite her tongue not to lash out at Vivian. She knew that Vivian disapproved of the relationship, but to be so blunt. Wait, wait, she told herself, this is how you felt when Martin was talking the other night (oh, that seemed like so long ago). Maybe Vivian is right, maybe I'm reading too much into this, Jack was only concerned about how I'd react. He doesn't want to get back together, that's absurd.

"OK, Viv, you're probably right, but I've got to make sure that Jack and I are on the same wavelength, how should I do that?"

Vivian was surprised to hear Samantha agreeing with her, but took advantage of it to heap advice on her. "You need to talk to him, no beating around the bush. Go into his office now and set up a time when you can talk, away from the office. You don't need busybodies starting rumors about the two of you."

Samantha opened her mouth to speak, but Vivian cut her off, "Go, now." And with that Vivian propelled Samantha out of the lounge and toward Jack's office.

Jack was no longer on the phone and Samantha, under Vivian's watchful eye, knocked on the open door to announce her presence. "Hey Jack, we didn't get to finish our discussion and I wondered if …"

He cut her off, "Yeah, well, I can't do it now, but how about tonight, dinner, it could be fun, like old times." Samantha thought he seemed a bit nervous.

Samantha just wanted to get out of the office so without thinking she agreed to the offer and went to her desk, the first time all day.

As she sat she mulled Jack's words 'like old times.' Does that mean like old friends or like old lovers? But, remember what Vivian said, she forced herself to focus on the woman's words, 'he does not want a relationship.' In fact she repeated them to herself and realized she had been saying them out loud when Martin spoke from behind her.

"Hey crazy lady, can I join this conversation?" He tried to sound lighthearted, but was concerned about the sentence that Samantha was repeating. He immediately thought that Samantha was trying to convince herself that Martin didn't want a relationship with her.

Samantha jumped and tried to gauge how much he had heard. She didn't want to burden him again with her problems so she focused on the food in his hands. He had bitten into a donut, no doubt from the lounge. "See didn't I promise you breakfast?" She tried to laugh, but it was forced. "Well, busy, busy, busy, got to get to work." She needed him to leave or she knew that she'd spill about Jack's news.

"How about lunch, we could hit that bistro down the street," Martin offered as he walked toward his desk.

"Oh, I don't know, I think I'm eating with Vivian today, but maybe another time, Martin," Samantha replied. Samantha didn't know what she was saying, she didn't have any plans for lunch and she could see the hurt look in Martin's face. However, she had resolved to figure this out without him and needed to stick to that plan.

Martin, confused, finally left Samantha alone. She was acting strangely and he knew that he must have pushed her too hard last night, he should have gotten up and gone home, taken baby steps to get close to her. But no, he had to take one giant step into her life and he had miscalculated. Nothing new to him when dealing with women.

.

.

.

Near the end of the day, Jack finally called everyone together. As they sat around the conference table Samantha couldn't look at Jack or Martin so she stared at the table, noticing the flaws in its surface. Jack began, "There have been some developments in my personal life and I'm not moving to Chicago after all. Therefore, I'll be sticking around as head of this unit." Danny and Martin both looked stunned at the news and Martin immediately glanced at Samantha.

She could feel Martin's stare and could almost see the wheels start to crank in his head, wondering how she felt about this announcement. Jack continued and discussed Vivian's situation, praising her for her talents and her understanding. Then Martin interjected trying to find a tactful way to ask his question, but his mind was not on tact. "So you're getting a divorce?" he blurted.

With this, Samantha turned to Martin and saw a man who had realized that life was not fair. Despite his caring and concern, life was still not going his way, the girl was slipping from his grasp and he didn't understand why.

Realizing the inappropriateness of his comment Martin tried to amend it by offering condolences, but it was an awkward apology. To break up the meeting, Martin rose from his seat and patted Jack on the shoulder and said without resolve, "It's good to have you back."

Although it was the end of the day, Martin lingered by his desk waiting for Samantha to come out of the conference room. He wanted to find out how she was, how she was dealing with the news. But Samantha emerged with Jack by her side, they passed her desk so she could gather her things and without even a good night they left, together. Martin was stunned and hurt. He felt so foolish. Last night he had listened to Samantha pour out what he thought were her feelings and then as soon as Jack was available she was at his side as if two years had never passed.

Martin grabbed his coat and headed for the nearest bar.

TBC


	8. Jack's Declaration

Chapter 8 – Jack's Declaration 

Wednesday Night, May 26, 2004 

Martin was not okay, his head was reeling. He had really overestimated Samantha's resolve and character. He was stunned that she had jumped at the chance to be with Jack the minute he was a single man, and he wasn't even single yet. He probably hasn't even filed papers, Martin thought.

He didn't normally drink away his pain, but tonight it was stronger and he needed to dull it. He ordered a double and downed it, best to get the edge off quickly he reasoned. He ordered another, but reigned himself in a bit and drank more slowly. The jukebox in the corner played an upbeat happy tune that only infuriated him more. He glanced about the bar and saw several smiling couples, not good. He began drinking faster and before he knew it he had ordered a third. The bartender was watching him closely, but he didn't care, if he got kicked out he'd hit another bar across the street, this was New York and if you wanted to get drunk it wasn't too difficult.

His thoughts drifted back to Samantha and Jack. What were they doing now? Did they go straight to her apartment to get "reacquainted" or had they stopped for takeout at a place he knew Samantha liked near the office. He pictured Jack's hands all over Samantha body and he shook his head to clear the image. But a worse one took its place, Samantha embracing Jack, wanting and needing him as she had needed Martin the other night. Martin knew that he had to stop torturing himself so he focused on his drink, "How many have I had?" Martin couldn't remember.

An attractive woman sidled down the bar toward him without him noticing. She sat next to him and batted her eyelashes and asked him his sign. Martin looked at her and in a surly manner replied that he was not interested. "I'm having a bad night and don't want company," he informed her.

"I can help you with that, I'm good at relieving people's problems at least for the night," she offered. "I can make you forget all about that woman."

Martin wondered if he was that transparent and for a moment contemplated her offer, but he knew it would be only momentary pleasure. He knew that the only thing that would make him feel better was seeing Samantha; seeing Samantha without Jack that is. He had drifted away when he thought of Samantha and the woman realized she was not going to get anywhere with this man tonight. Too bad, she thought, he was cute.

Martin refocused and realized that the woman was no longer sitting next to him. The interaction had made him see that drinking his sorrows away was not going to help him. He rose from his seat, paid his tab, and staggered out. Outside the bar was a payphone and Martin stumbled to it. He had to know, to find out if Samantha was home and if Jack were there too. He dialed her number and waited for an answer. Five rings, six, and then the answering machine picked up. Samantha's light voice filled his ear, "Leave a message." He thought about hanging up, but instead spoke and he couldn't control the words coming out of his mouth. "Samantha, it's me, Martin. I, … I hope you're alright. I wanted to talk to you after Jack's news," as Martin spoke his voice level was rising. "But, but you left, with him. After all we talked about, you left with him at the first chance you got." Yelling now, "What are you thinking? He's no good for you Samantha, can't you see that? Did I waste my time trying to get you to understand reality for nothing? I wish that …" Martin heard a beep, the machine had cut him off, his message was too long. Fking A, he thought, but he didn't have the energy to call back and finish his message. She would get the point from that much, he was upset and he had told her. He left the phone booth and hailed a cab, he needed to go home to the safety and security of his place, only it was so lonely there.

* * *

Across town, Samantha and Jack walked into a restaurant they used to visit often. To Samantha it reminded her of good times and that was what Jack wanted. He brought her here to declare his love for her and find out where Samantha stood.

As they were seated, Samantha grabbed for the menu eager to put something between her and Jack to avoid "the discussion". Soon though, they had ordered and there was nothing to do but talk. Samantha tried to break the ice with small talk, but every subject she thought of involved Jack's wife or kids. Jack seemed equally uneasy and they sat in silence for a time. Finally, Jack spoke, "Do you remember this place? I haven't been here for awhile, but it hasn't changed has it?"

Samantha glanced around, "Yeah, of course I remember, we spent some good nights here." Good she thought, bring up their past relationship and that will lead to questions about their future. Although she still didn't know how she felt or what she wanted.

"Remember that time with the waiter, Gerald, I think, and he spilled the water all over you?" Jack laughed and Samantha smiled. They reminisced for a time and their food came. Both busied themselves with their food, trying to think of ways to broach the subject at hand. They made it through the main course with small banter about how delicious the food was and what should be ordered for dessert.

It wasn't until the plates were cleared that Jack spoke, "Look Samantha." He looked unsure and Samantha knew that the time had come to talk about them. "I need to tell you something, something important." Samantha leaned in, amazed that Jack was going to clear the air without her having to prompt his response. "Now, nothing is final with Maria and I yet, but it will be. We really are getting a divorce, she doesn't love me and she doesn't want to try anymore and to tell you the truth, I never went back to her two years ago; at least not with my whole heart. My heart has stayed with you Sam, a part of me never wanted to make my marriage work because it knew that I'd never stop loving you." He looked eagerly at Samantha to gauge how she was taking the news, but to him she looked passive, possibly uninterested. His heart beat a little faster. "I know, I know it's been a long time and to ask you to still love me or to try again is really unfair, but I have to try, I have to tell you because I've gone too long through my life not being honest with people and I can't do it anymore. So I have to ask you, have you really and truly moved on since us? If you felt even a fraction of what I did I know you couldn't have moved on, our love was too strong." Finally, he was silent, he looked pleadingly at Samantha, waiting impatiently for her to answer, to respond to anything he'd said.

Samantha tried to comprehend what Jack was saying. She had been right, he did want to get back together. After all this time he had never stopped thinking about her, caring about her. Did it matter, the time that had passed. She didn't fault him for trying to make his marriage work, they were a family after all, but now, he was getting a divorce; that's what she had wanted two years ago. A part of her, a large part, thought she should jump at this opportunity, but there was a little part, a nagging part, telling her to look before she leapt. It was the part that Martin had revealed, the reality of a relationship with Jack. But even Martin had said that despite the work involved in the relationship, what mattered was how each person felt and if this was love who could deny that. Samantha realized that the silence had stretched and saw Jack looking at her with concern or worry on his face. She had to say something, "Jack, wow, I mean, how long have you been thinking about this?"

"A long time, especially when Maria told me about going to Chicago. It was my perfect out," Jack replied.

"Then, if you were unhappy and you still loved me why did you agree to move to Chicago?" Samantha asked confused.

"Ultimately, it was the girls," Jack answered honestly. "I couldn't live here and the girls live in Chicago. The whole reason that I have not been with you all this time is the girls, but now with neither Maria nor I wanting to make the family work, I can get out without carrying the guilt alone, Maria has to share it."

Samantha didn't like that answer, "So you denied yourself, and me, love to avoid feeling guilty? Two years Jack, two years, I've tried to get on with my life because that's what I thought you were doing, but it was all to avoid feeling guilty?"

Jack recoiled, that had not been what he meant, not at all. "No, I wanted to stay a family for the girls, they need stability, a mom and a dad, but there comes a point when Maria and I staying together is not the best situation for the girls. We've reached that point and yes, I feel guilty, but it's guilt that anyone in my situation would feel."

Samantha had moved on by the time Jack had finished. "If we hadn't ever gotten together, if I hadn't let myself get involved with a married man, would you still be with Maria, could you have made it work?"

Jack had to deflect any guilt away from Samantha, this was not her fault. "Sam, don't you ever think that. I've never felt the way about Maria that I feel about you, even if I hadn't met you, Maria and I wouldn't have worked. The feelings aren't there, you just made me realize that earlier than if we hadn't gotten together. My mistake wasn't being with you while I was married, it was getting married to Maria back then."

Jack continued, "I'm glad that we are talking about this now, we have time to figure this out, you and me, us. Maria and I haven't even filed for divorce yet, but I wanted to know, I wanted to know if there was a chance for us. Knowing that will make this whole process easier for me, to know that I have someone waiting for me, to love me and to love in return. You don't have to answer now, you've let me know that you have thought about me and us since I broke us up. I know that this is out of the blue for you, whereas I've been thinking about you for two years."

Samantha looked at Jack and felt drained, emotionally and physically drained. So many thoughts were racing through her head. "Yeah, I need some time Jack, I can't even think straight right now. I mean a few days ago I thought you were leaving and I didn't even know when I'd see you again and then today you spring this on me. I don't know. I do know that I've tried to move on and I can't promise you that I haven't, so you'll have to let me sort a lot of things out."

"That's fair, Sam, and that's all I ask of you, to think about it," Jack said calmly. He looked happy at this, happy that he had not been shot down at his announcement of his love for her. "Let me take you home."

"No, no I think I need to go alone, you being here is only clouding my thoughts and I need a clear head," Samantha responded. "I'll see you at the office tomorrow, but don't pressure me, you can't put a deadline on my answer. I don't know how long it will take, but …"

He interrupted, "No I won't pressure you, I've got a lot to do to get out of my marriage remember. You think that you can beat the divorce court proceedings?" He laughed trying to break the tension that had built the entire evening. She smiled, realizing that he was trying. She rose from the table and headed to the door. Jack watched her the entire way, but she did not look back at him.

Samantha got to the street and hailed a taxi. Her mind was spinning with thoughts, "Jack still loved her, he wanted a relationship, he had never stopped loving her. Whoa, what do I do now?" The taxi arrived at her apartment and she was exhausted; she entered and immediately headed to bed. She never even saw the blinking red light on the answering machine.

TBC


	9. Vulnerability

_A/N__: At__ this time, I have upped the rating for the story, I didn't anticipate this or subsequent chapters when I began. Thank you for all of the wonderful reviews, I'm glad you enjoy reading because I'm enjoying the writing.

* * *

_Chapter 9 – Vulnerability   
Thursday Morning, May 27, 2004

Samantha slept fitfully throughout the night and awoke early. The stress and tension had built up during the past week and she decided to take a run in the park, part of her usual routine. She dressed and left the building as daylight was just dawning. Running felt good, she concentrated on her breathing, blocking out thoughts of Jack and Martin. She came out of the wooded area into the clearing and should have been paying more attention to her surroundings.

Three young men dressed in dark baggy jeans and sweatshirts suddenly began keeping pace with her. They started whispering to her, one said he'd like to "do" her and the others added various lewd comments. One pushed her into the other, but she righted herself quickly and kept jogging. She tried to assess the situation, who was around, what did she have to protect herself with. She would not let panic slip in, instead she slowly lowered the zipper on her jacket and sped up her pace, hoping they would get bored of her or tired and stop. The three were telling her that they had seen her before in the park and wanted her. One told her that he appreciated her taking good care of herself so that when it was his turn with her she'd be tight and firm. She longed for her badge and gun, but quickly dismissed them because those thoughts would not help her here. One grabbed her arm and she shook him off. She realized that that would only make them mad and she got ready to fight. Then, the biggest one grabbed onto her jacket and she knew she had to make a break for it. She let the jacket fall off her shoulder as she put on a burst of speed, her arms slipped easily out of the material and, running for her life, she left them behind. Without stopping she crossed a busy street, eager to put distance between herself and the three men. She turned a corner and then another, afraid to stop and afraid to turn around. Finally, she ducked into a small coffee shop that was well populated and allowed herself to breath, out of sight from the street. Her adrenaline was pumping and she tried to calm herself. Tears threatened to fall down her face, but she fought them back, she would not allow those thugs to make her cry. She tried to focus on how well she had done, she had not panicked and had gotten away; three on one and she had gotten away. She sat down in a chair in the corner and wrapped her arms around herself. "I could have been the team's next case," she thought. An employee approached her holding a cup of coffee. She looked up at him and whispered apologetically, "I don't have any money, I can't pay for that."

But the employee shook his head, "It's OK, you look like you could really use it. Is anything wrong? You're white as a sheet."

"Am I?" Samantha asked as she reached for the coffee and the mug instantly warmed her hands. "I guess I overexerted myself this morning. Thanks for the coffee." She had not realized how cold she was, but sitting here in only her tank top and jogging pants she eagerly sipped the coffee. The hot fluid rushed into her body spreading its warmth throughout. Again, as she relived the attack in her mind she felt like crying, letting the emotions out through her tears, but she could not let herself, she was too strong for that; she was Special Agent Samantha Spade and could not be vulnerable.

She didn't notice time passing and the crowd thinning out as people headed for work. The same employee came up to her, his name tag read 'Robert', and asked her if she needed anything else. "What," she said glancing around her, "Oh my, what time is it, I've got to get going."

"It's 8:30," Robert answered helpfully.

Samantha realized that she had to get home, get dressed, and go to work. She searched her mind to remember whether any identification had been in her jacket, but for once she praised its lack of pockets. The guys would not be able to find her apartment. She asked Robert if she could use the phone and although it was against policy he took pity on her, she was still pale, as pale as when she came in this morning out of breath. She called the office and Martin answered, "FBI, Missing Persons, Fitzgerald speaking."

"Martin," she whispered. Then she realized that she didn't have to whisper, no one was going to get her in the coffee shop.

"Samantha, is that you, are you OK?" Martin asked concerned.

"Yeah, sorry," she answered in a normal voice. "I, I'm going to be late this morning, I went for a run and …" Should she tell him, should she tell anyone? What would she say? But she didn't have to continue, Martin cut her off.

"You should know, Jack's late too and if you two are going to do this 'thing' and try to keep it a secret you should plan a little better or get a better excuse." With that Martin hung up the phone. He felt a little bad about his bluntness, but he had remembered his drunken phone call and figured he couldn't hurt their friendship any more than that.

Samantha stared at her end of the phone. What was Martin talking about, why would he think that she had been with Jack this morning? She put Martin's statement and attitude out of her mind, she had to get home and then to work.

She didn't have any money for a cab so she had to run home, luckily she hadn't lost her apartment key because it was tied to her shoelace. As she got ready for work she resolved that she had to tell someone, something had to be done about those three before they hurt someone else. And it bothered her that they had seen her before in the park, what if they had attacked her before or tried again.

At work, she singled out Vivian, she was a woman, she would be the easiest to tell about the attack. Vivian immediately encouraged Samantha to tell the entire team, for support, and then notify the local police so they could investigate. Samantha was reluctant to tell anyone else, but Vivian pointed out that this was probably not the first time these guys had attacked someone in the park and she needed to do her part to stop it.

Vivian called the team together and helped Samantha get through her story. She couldn't make eye contact with anyone except Vivian, but could tell that Jack, Martin, and Danny would do everything they could to support her. Martin was especially quiet through the whole story. He was thinking about the last conversation he'd had with Samantha. He'd accused her of sleeping late with Jack and calling into work with a crappy excuse, but he'd been wrong. She had been running and then she'd been attacked, she'd probably called in as soon as it had happened and what did she get, she got me being snide to her and hanging up. It didn't matter that Samantha couldn't make eye contact with him because he couldn't look at anyone.

It was Danny who came up with the plan, the plan to catch the guys. He emphasized that the guys had been in the park before and suggested that since they had been so daring this morning that they would attack again. He proposed a sting operation using Samantha as the bait.

Both Martin and Jack immediately let their protests be heard, they were looking past Samantha's calm exterior and imagining that she must be terrified by what had happened. Neither wanted Samantha to be "bait." But Samantha, as usual, had a mind of her own and wanted to prove, to everyone as much to herself, that she was a capable agent. She immediately latched onto Danny's idea and tried to ignore Martin and Jack pleadings.

Against his wishes, Jack set up an appointment with the local police chief and the entire team headed to the police station. Over the next couple of hours a plan was devised, Samantha would go running the next morning, wearing a wire and surrounded by hidden FBI agents and local officers. She needed to get enough on tape of the guys' intentions and actions to arrest and charge them. At the end of the meeting, both Jack and Martin approached Samantha. It was awkward, both of them looking at her so caringly. They started to speak at the same time, but Martin deferred to his boss, besides, he thought that Samantha didn't really want to hear from him right now.

"Sam, you know you don't have to go through with this. Even though we spent a few hours on this plan you can back out. Nothing is set in stone." Jack tried to make Samantha see reason.

Samantha nodded, expressing that she had heard him, but that she wasn't going to back out. As Jack watched, Martin reached out and lightly grabbed her arm to make her acknowledge him. She looked up at him as he said, "We'll be there for you, you give the signal and we will be there in flash. You know that?"

"Yeah, I know you guys won't let me down. I'll give the signal and let you guys do the hard part." She smiled at her joke, but Martin and Jack did not. They both looked worried. "Don't worry about me guys, it's just another undercover, we've all done it before." She was actually upset that they didn't think she could take care of herself. "I'm going home now, we have to meet early tomorrow and I need some rest."

Jack stepped forward. "I'll take you home Sam, you shouldn't be alone tonight," Jack said protectively. Samantha, instead of looking at Jack appreciatively, glanced at Martin in time to see his face deflate.

"Of course," Martin thought, "I'm not needed, Jack is more than a friend, I don't get to be her protector--like she needs a protector. Besides she probably doesn't want me within ten feet of her the way I've treated her." Martin backed off and let Jack lead Samantha out of the police station. He left through a different exit to go home to his lonely apartment.

Once outside the station, Samantha pulled her arm from Jack's grasp and told him, "I'll take myself home, I don't need you to baby-sit me. I'll be fine." She wished that she had done that in front of Martin, so he could see that she wasn't 'with Jack,' at least not yet. She wondered why she cared if Martin thought she and Jack were together.

Jack looked a bit stunned, but he'd dealt with the strong willed Samantha before and he let her go.

She watched from her apartment window as Jack pulled away from the curb. Did he think she was stupid enough not to realize when she was being followed. Oh, well, he was only thinking of her, but she didn't need to be protected, watched over. She reminded herself that she was not a weak woman, she was strong and capable and after tomorrow Jack and Martin would have to admit that.

TBC


	10. The Message

Chapter 10 – The Message 

Thursday Night, May 27, 2004 

Finally, she noticed the blinking light on her answering machine, two messages. She pressed rewind and then play. She recognized Martin's voice, drunken and slurred. She heard him ask if she was alright after hearing Jack's news. The message was obviously from yesterday, after work. Samantha's heart went out to him again for his caring and compassion, but then the message got louder and he was yelling at her; accusing her of having a relationship with Jack. What did he think of her, that she had no common sense at all. She replayed her actions of yesterday, she had already known about Jack's divorce at the meeting, but Martin had just learned and must have figured she had just found out too. Had he seen her leaving with Jack to go to dinner? Maybe, and he probably jumped to conclusions. She hadn't wanted to involve him in her decision about a relationship with Jack and instead had let him assume that there was a relationship. She had told Martin that she thought she had loved Jack at one time. Poor Martin. She knew that she had gone too far talking to him about Jack. He tried to act neutral, but he cared for her, about her, and she shouldn't have taken advantage of that. But who was he to call and leave her a message like that, even if he was drunk. And why was he drunk, that's not like Martin to be drinking during the week. Was it because he thinks I'm dating Jack? She stopped thinking as the second message began to play.

It too was Martin this time from today just a few minutes ago, "Samantha, it's me, Martin, I um, I need to apologize for last night's message. I wanted to do it in person, but, um, you were busy, with Ja…, with someone else. I don't remember exactly what I said, but I know it couldn't have been nice. And I'm sorry for this morning on the phone, I shouldn't have questioned you. Please accept my apologies and get some sleep tonight. Remember, we'll be there for you tomorrow. 'Night." The message clicked off. She remembered this morning on the phone and understood a little bit of what he must have been thinking. She wanted to call him, to tell him it was okay or at least it would be, he didn't need to apologize. She pictured him beating himself up over leaving the message and about this morning. Was he drinking because he thought I was dating Jack? She picked up the phone to call him, but she didn't know what she'd say if she talked to him. She didn't want to tell him about Jack's declaration, he didn't deserve to be burdened with that.

With a heavy heart, Samantha put down the phone and retreated to her bedroom, determined to fall asleep, somehow.

TBC


	11. PreBrief

Chapter 11 – Pre-Brief 

Thursday Late Night, May 28, 2004 

Samantha couldn't sleep, she kept replaying this morning in her head. She realized how scared she had been and imagined what might have happened had she not gotten away. She knew that she needed to sleep though, and she tried all of the tricks. Warm milk, chamomile tea, a hot bath with lavender scents, but none it was working. Oh, she was tired, but every time she closed her eyes, scenes would play like a movie on the back of her eyelids. She plopped in front of the television determined to take her mind off the coming events, but the first channel she turned to was showing a movie about a woman who'd been abducted--in a park no less. OK, maybe TV wasn't the best idea. She tried reading a book, but kept rereading the same paragraph, he mind just wasn't in it. She thought of going for a run, but that's what got her into this in the first place. She wanted so badly to call Martin, but that would be admitting that she needed someone to help her through this and she was not going to admit that, especially to Martin or Jack. The hours dragged on, but finally the early meeting hour approached and she could busy herself with getting ready.

She arrived at the rendezvous point early and saw that only Martin had beaten her there. He looked horrible, like he hadn't slept all night. She didn't know whether to be glad that he was thinking about her all night or upset with him because he worried that she couldn't handle it. She walked toward him, but he wouldn't hold her gaze, he was acting shiftily and nervous to be around her. But he spoke, "So where's Jack? I thought he stayed with you last night."

Samantha looked puzzled, she'd forgotten that Martin hadn't seen her brush off Jack. "Oh, no, I took myself home, I am capable of that." The words were more hurtful than she'd intended, but she didn't want Martin to keep worrying about her, thinking she was fragile.

"And," she said, "I got your message, well, messages. I accept your apology, I hope that you didn't feel too bad about it. I should never have tried to talk to you about Jack, it was insensitive of me to talk about my feelings for another man with you, especially after we almost, you know." She glanced around to be sure that they were alone and lowered her voice, "We aren't together, Jack and I, he wanted to talk to me alone about the divorce, but it wasn't a date or anything." For some reason she wanted him to know that, to know that she wasn't 'with Jack.' "I think you realize from our talk that I don't know how I feel, about anything it seems."

Martin listened to her explanation and was relieved to hear that Samantha hadn't started dating Jack yet, but he knew that the potential was there and what was he to do in the meantime. He felt himself being relegated to the 'friend' role in yet another relationship and as usual he accepted it. "Samantha, I'm glad you felt that you could talk to me about Jack. We're friends, nothing more, I see that." Although he said the words they stung inside of him, like a flicker of a flame of what might have been was going out. "I did jump to conclusions, I mean, I saw you leave with Jack right after his announcement and I knew that you were, are, confused. I didn't want you to jump into something, especially something as complicated as Jack's life right now. And I shouldn't have been so rude to you on the phone, especially after what you'd just been through, I'm sorry."

Samantha heard Martin say that they were just friends and although it was technically true, she had hoped that he would fight a bit more. "You didn't know what had just happened, I didn't tell you. And your advice would have been good had that situation been happening, it just wasn't happening. It's actually kind of funny to think about, to picture what you thought I had been doing all morning and knowing what I had really been doing." But that statement brought them both back to the present and to why they were here this early morning.

Martin asked, "So are you really ready for this? This should be a big takedown, who knows whether they've done this to others before. I'm proud of you for doing standing up to them." Those words meant the world to Samantha, to know that someone was proud of her. That was something she hadn't heard since her parents and they had been gone for a long time.

"Thank you Martin and I do think I'm ready."

Next to arrive was Jack, he immediately approached Samantha and touched her arm and her face with his hand. She backed away from his touch, embarrassed that Martin was seeing Jack's displays of affection. Jack saw Samantha glance at Martin when she backed away and assumed that she didn't want Martin to know that they had dated and were going to again. He could respect that, for now.

The rest of the team arrived along with the local officers. The command post was set up and the tech guy handed Samantha a walkman and headset, only they were a transmitter and receiver, through which the team could talk to her and she to them and the evidence tape. Everyone received their assignments and it was determined that the local police would handle the takedown and the FBI team would take care of their undercover agent.

The pre-briefing broke up about ten minutes before anyone had to head to their positions. No one wanted to speak about the operation so they sat in silence and the minutes ticked away. Samantha tried to ward off the images from the previous morning, Martin ran 'what-if' scenarios through his head so he'd be prepared for anything, and Jack tried to think of a way to get Samantha out of this situation. Someone finally announced that it was time to stage and they headed to the park.

It was still dark and Samantha sitting in the park felt alone despite knowing that several agents and officers were watching her every move. She was supposed to sit here until an agent gave her the go ahead to begin her jog, but the waiting was impossible. She got up, under the guise of stretching, but she was too tense for it to do much good. She did a sound check, another one, the tech guy was getting annoyed with her, but she wanted to be sure it worked. Finally, she heard a voice in her ear through the headphones, it was showtime.

TBC


	12. Showtime

Chapter 12 – Showtime 

Friday Morning, May 28, 2004 

Samantha began jogging, she kept a slow even pace and concentrated on her breathing. She ran the same route that she always did, hoping that those three guys would see her again. Everyone agreed that they would attack her in the wooded area because it provided the most cover. She had just headed into the woods. "Any sign of them?" She heard Jack's voice in her ear, the headphones were set so that she could hear any of them as they talked to each other. Jack offered again, "You can still turn back Samantha, it's not too late."

Infuriated with Jack, she whispered toward the receiver, "Shut up Jack, shut up and let me do my job. It's not like I'm going to break." She hoped that the suspects hadn't seen that outburst, it would have looked mighty strange to see her yelling in a whisper to thin air. The command had shut Jack up though and she refocused on the task.

As she neared the edge of the woods she spoke, "I guess it's a bust guys, I'm out of the woods, literally." But as she came into the clearing, just like yesterday, the three were upon her and they did not want to jog today.

"Well, well, little miss priss is back today, we didn't scare you off huh?" the big one taunted.

"Yeah, you're gonna pay for running off on us yesterday, we had to get off on your jacket instead, I don't think you're gonna want that back," the skinny guy stated.

"Or need it back," laughed the third.

Samantha interjected, "So what do you guys want?"

"We want you," the big guy, the obvious leader, intoned. "And we're going to have you this time." He pushed her hard to the ground and she tried to break her fall with her hands, but he kicked them out from under her and she landed on the side of her head, momentarily stunned.

She recovered and struggled to get to a standing position. She knew that she needed to keep up their rage, "Three on one huh, that doesn't seem fair to me."

"Life's not fair, bitch," and with that one of them kicked her while she was rising; the full force of his shoe landed in her gut and rib cage; she gasped for breath and fell over backward. Two of them pounced on her, determined to keep her on the ground this time. She heard a voice in her ear, "Let's get them now, she needs to be out of there." It was Martin pleading with the team.

She yelled, "No," as much to her tormentors as to the team, she wasn't ready for them to rescue her yet.

The operation leader held his ground, "Not until she gives the signal."

She hadn't gotten enough information on them to quit yet, despite her aching ribs. "So you do this often? Or am I your guinea pig?"

The guys couldn't help but brag, "Yeah, just last week we took a woman out here joggin' just like you, we buried her up on top of that hill."

Samantha gasp, she hadn't expected to hear that they had killed someone. Again, Martin's voice telling the team to execute the takedown, but nobody was listening. Samantha's inner voice was telling her to keep calm, keep these guys talking. They would talk themselves right into the death penalty.

"You didn't kill anyone, you're just trying to scare me. You're nothing but two-bit punks running around the streets," but she had said too much. The big guy pulled out a gun and pointed it at her and the heavy set guy pulled a knife.

"Oh, yeah, if I've never killed no one then who's blood is on this knife," the heavy set guy asked. Samantha's eyes widened, indeed there was blood on the knife and the gun looked very real. But, she reminded herself, that there were several armed men and women on her side hiding in the park who would come any time she said the word.

"If you're so tough then who else have you killed?" Samantha tried to sound frightened, which wasn't difficult.

"Timmy stabbed that homeless woman not too long ago," answered the skinny guy.

"And then I shot her," said the leader. "And then we buried her over by them trees while she was still breathing." He let out a slow cackle and Samantha's breathing sped up again.

She tried to think, what else do I need on this tape, what else? Motive? Is there a motive? "But why go after me, you don't know me, I haven't done anything to you."

"Why ask why?" stated Timmy, the heavy-set one. "We seen you 'round and thought you'd be a nice piece of ass."

"Yeah, Jojo didn't want to kill you," the leader said, pointing at the skinny guy, "he wanted to keep you around for special occasions, but you got away yesterday and we had a talk. We can't keep ya no matter how much we wants to." The leader continued, "Now I'm gonna go first and see just how tight your pussy is, then Timmy, then Jojo is gonna spend some time with you, cause he really likes you, you see."

In her ear, Martin's pleas again, "OK, we have enough, go get them."

"No we wait until her signal," the operation leader repeated.

She was glad that they still had confidence in her calling the shots and that gave her the strength to continue. The leader undid his belt and pulled down his pants, he reached for Samantha's pants and as much as she knew she shouldn't fight back, she reacted instinctively. She kicked out to his unprotected groin and connected solidly. The leader doubled over in pain, but rebounded quickly and slapped Samantha across the face.

Immediately, Martin's voice again, but Danny trumped him and told everyone, "Samantha knows what she is doing, trust her."

"You'll pay for that bitch. Timmy, Jojo, hold her down." Looking directly at Samantha he said, "I do like my women feisty."

Samantha struggled against her captors she needed them to say, on tape, how they were going to kill her. "So when you're finished with me, then what? You got a gravesite for me?"

The leader, almost on top of her now, couldn't help but continue to brag. "Oh, pretty lady, we got one all dug for you and we're real good 'bout keeping you alive to see the first shovel of dirt on your head. You see, Timmy just stabs you in the arms and legs, but not enough to let you bleed out quickly. Then I does the shootin', usually the gut, nothing too major there to kill you fast. Jojo, he's a bit squeamish so he just does the shovelin'. And we all laugh to see you struggling for last bits of air, but it ain't no use, you may as well give up now and enjoy your last few fucks."

As he said these last words, Samantha used a free leg to strike the leaders groin again and to yell out the signal to her teammates. Everyone responded exactly as planned. The gun and the knife were secured without incident. The guys were taken totally unaware. Immediately they were removed from the scene so that the undercover agent could be tended to in peace.

Samantha's team rushed to her side and prevented her from even sitting up, her face was already bruised where it had hit the ground and she was bleeding from a split lip from when he had slapped her. Vivian covered her up with a blanket to prevent her from slipping into shock from the event. Jack radioed in the ambulance that was waiting nearby and Martin crouched near her head and looked at her. He took off his transmitter so only she could hear him and he whispered in her ear, "It's over Samantha, it's over." She looked into his face, filled with concern, and let one solitary tear slide down her face and only Martin was allowed to see it. He reached over and wiped it from her face, knowing she hated to cry. He didn't want her to feel embarrassed at a time like this.

Danny knelt by her side and she reached out for his hand. "Thank you Danny, thank you for your confidence," she tried to express the gratitude she felt for him when he told everyone to trust in her. Danny looked confused, he didn't know what he had done to deserve any extra recognition so she told him, "You believed in me and made the team believe in me too. Instead of being worried about me, you knew I could handle the situation, thank you."

Danny responded, "Samantha, we all knew you could do it, maybe I just put my confidence into words." She released his hand and let him continue about his business. Martin had heard this exchange and realized that all of the worry and fretting that both he and Jack had been doing was not what Samantha had wanted or needed. She needed for us to stop worrying about her and tell her that we had faith in her abilities.

The paramedics arrived and shooed everyone away from Samantha. Jack had already gone elsewhere, he had to be the team leader and was needed, but Martin was in charge of the undercover, along with Vivian and Danny. Martin hovered nearby and heard Samantha's answers to the paramedics questions. Yes, she was in pain. Apparently it was from when she had been kicked, he began to worry about internal bleeding and damaged organs, but he needed to leave the medical stuff up to the doctors. Perhaps it was nothing.

The paramedics loaded Samantha into the ambulance and took off for the hospital. They said they would need to admit her and run some tests to rule out any substantial damage. To Martin, that didn't sound good. He climbed into his government vehicle and went to meet Samantha at the hospital.

TBC


	13. Domestic Goddess

Chapter 13 – Domestic Goddess 

Friday Day, May 28, 2004 

Martin stared at the vending machine, "Cheetos or Doritos, which would she like more?" He had been at the hospital for hours while Samantha's test had been run. So far no internal injuries other than some bruised and very sore ribs. He had convinced Danny and Vivian to go home, that he would take the first shift watching her, but he had no intention of calling in a replacement.

He decided on a Milky Way, chocolate always makes things better, right? So he got two. He headed back to Samantha's room and heard voices talking within. He assumed the doctor had some more news, so he waited outside the door to give them some privacy.

The male voice was very familiar and Martin soon realized that Jack was talking to Samantha. As much as he tried not to eavesdrop, his curiosity got the better of him.

Jack was speaking, "I wish I could have been here earlier, but they kept me tied up at the station. The locals did us good and misplaced some paperwork so booking will take extra long. Those guys will be in jail all weekend, their arraignment will be set for Monday. How are you feeling?"

Samantha replied, "Sore, very sore, but that's great news, thanks for letting me know."

"Yeah, oh and I, I wanted to take you home tonight and I wasn't going to let you tell me no, but," Jack hesitated, "but, you see, Hannah has this recital and I really need to be there, especially if I'm going to try to get joint custody. So I …"

Samantha interrupted, "It's OK Jack, you need to be with your kids now, I can get myself home."

"Well, I really don't think that's best but,…"

Martin took the opportunity to walk into the room with the candy, "Oh, hey Jack, didn't know that you had stopped by."

"Yes, I wanted to come see how Sam was doing. Hey could you take Sam home tonight, I don't think she should try to overdo it just yet."

"Sure, no problem," Martin agreed. Pleased with himself for making Jack ask a favor of him.

"Excuse me, I'm right here, don't talk about me like I'm not here," Samantha intoned. "I can take myself home, thank you very much, both of you, but I can manage."

"OK, Sam, you're right," Jack said as he turned to leave and winked at Martin to let him know that she was not to leave on her own. Martin nodded in agreement. "I'll see you soon, I'll try to stop by," Jack bid his farewell.

Martin soon left too, Samantha still had a couple of hours remaining before they would discharge her and he wanted to get some errands done. He stopped by her apartment, having swiped her key from the hospital. He grabbed some clothes for her to wear and dropped off the groceries he had purchased for dinner and the movies he had rented, in case she couldn't sleep. He returned to the hospital at 5:00 pm just as Samantha was signing discharge papers and arguing with a nurse about using a wheelchair to leave the hospital. He poked his head in the door and held out the fresh clothes. Samantha stared at him, "Where did you get those?"

"I confess, I stole your key," he admitted. "I didn't think that you'd want to put those jogging clothes on again, ever. Now put these on and I'll wheel you to the curb."

"Oh, I'll put these on, but I'm not leaving in that wheelchair," she retorted.

Martin gestured for the nurse to leave, indicating that he'd get her to use the chair. Samantha changed clothes in the bathroom, not wanting Martin to see more than he already had while wearing the skimpy gown. She came out feeling fresher, but still resolved to leave of her own accord.

Martin and Samantha sparred for a few rounds about the wheelchair, but finally Martin won by reasoning with her, "You're not going to get to leave without being in this chair and the sooner you get in it the sooner you will get home." Samantha sat, but was out of the chair as soon as it cleared the hospital doors.

Martin drove Samantha to her apartment. He let himself in and went directly to the kitchen to make dinner. Samantha went to rest on the couch, she called to Martin, "Don't bother, I don't have any food anyway."

To that Martin replied, "I brought my own, I knew you didn't have anything, remember by your own admission you're not a domestic goddess. Why don't you pop in one of those movies while I finish up in here."

"You rented movies too, I guess you're the domestic goddess here," Samantha laughed. The emotion felt good even though the action caused her pain. She eased herself down until she was lying on the couch and quickly fell asleep due to the pain killers.

She awoke to Martin's voice and a wonderful aroma from the kitchen. He brought her plate to her and made her eat, it tasted superb. She realized that she was starving, she hadn't eaten real food since yesterday. She stuffed another bite in her mouth and felt Martin staring at her. He reached out to her hand to prevent her from taking another bite. He looked into her eyes and began, "Samantha, I need to clarify something. I was worried this morning, not about you but for you. I never, for one second, thought that you couldn't handle yourself on the op, I just didn't want you to have to do that. There is always the possibility of something going wrong with any operation and if, for some reason, they had, they had raped you, I don't know how a person is supposed to recover from that. Bottom line, I would have worried about any of my teammates going into any undercover situation, but yes, I guess, I worried more for you in this op."

Samantha was touched, she realized that Martin truly was not questioning her ability. She had misinterpreted his worrying about the operation as worrying about her. "Thank you Martin for saying that and I'm glad that you were proud of me for facing those guys."

They finished up dinner in relative silence, neither knowing what to say. Martin cleaned up and came back to the living room. Samantha said, "Martin, no buts this time, you need to go home, I am fine here. I'm going to watch a movie, which I'll probably fall asleep to since my belly is so full, and then I'll go to bed. I promise, nothing but rest."

Martin protested, but Samantha won the fight, he rose to leave, "Call me if you need anything, you can get me on my cell, I'll have it at arms reach." He walked to the counter and picked up her phone, he programmed his number into it and put it near Samantha. "You call me, for anything, even if you're just feeling lazy and want some water, I'll come get it for you."

Samantha laughed, "OK, OK, thanks for everything Martin."

He finally left her apartment, but he had no intentions of leaving her building tonight. He knew that once she was alone she would remember this morning and he wanted to be there for her quickly. He retreated to the lobby to a dark corner where he was hidden from view.

TBC


	14. A Late Night Call

Chapter 14 – A Late Night Call 

Friday Night, May 28, 2004 

Martin crouched on the floor in the lobby of Samantha's apartment building. He had a clear view of the entryway, but was sufficiently hidden by darkness from those coming and going. He didn't know exactly who he was guarding Samantha from since the three guys were still in jail, but he felt protective of her and he wanted to stay close in case she called upon him. It was still early evening and he knew he was in for a long night.

Martin saw several people enter using their own key and a few who were buzzed in; he paid special attention to them. It didn't take long and he saw a familiar face; Jack had been buzzed through the doors. Martin's mouth fell open, but he quickly realized that he should have expected it. He had heard the concern in Jack's words early at the hospital and although Samantha had told him that she wasn't 'with Jack' he knew the old feelings were coming back to her.

Jack carried flowers and did not even glance in Martin's direction. He impatiently waited for the elevator and punched in Samantha's floor when it arrived. Martin sank lower into his hiding place and thought about how stupid he was to still be there, waiting for a phone call he knew would never come. But still he waited; his aim had changed though, he wanted to know how long Jack stayed rather than who was going to come after Samantha.

* * *

Samantha had been surprised when Jack buzzed, but she let him come up. What choice did she have, she couldn't order him to leave when he was at her front door. She let him in when he knocked and saw the flowers he had to offer. Reluctantly she took them from him as she gestured for him to come in the room. He moved to kiss her on he check and she stopped herself from backing up at the contact. Then she looked up at him and wanted to express the confusion she felt about him to him. "Jack, you didn't have to come tonight. You should be with Hannah or something."

Jack protested, "Yes, I was with Hannah, but now I have something more important. I have to make sure that you are OK. Did you have dinner, can I get you something? Was Martin able to bring you home? Are you OK?"

Samantha didn't know which question to respond to first. "Yes, I've eaten, Martin made a wonderful dinner and I was just watching a movie. I was about to go to bed Jack and I think I do need my rest." She tried to encourage him not to stay.

"Oh, I'm sorry, sure you need to rest, I guess I shouldn't have come, but I, I wanted to see you, to know that you're alright. And I wanted you to know that I, that I wanted to be with you tonight. I'm sorry that I couldn't be." Jack tried to apologize for not being there for her.

Samantha responded, "I know you want to be here, to be with me, but Jack, I don't know if that's what I want. With everything going on I haven't had anytime to think about us and you being here just complicates things." She wanted to say that it was too confusing for her when Jack was around, but that when she was with Martin everything was comfortable and that's what she needed now, comfort. But she reminded herself that it wasn't fair to Martin to talk to him about her feelings for Jack, so it would unfair to do the same to Jack. Also, Jack wouldn't take it well if she told him she'd rather be with Martin now. So she remained silent.

Jack heard Samantha and was pained, he didn't want to complicate her life, he just wanted to be with her and he thought that that would make things better, not worse. He didn't know what to say.

Finally, Samantha spoke, "Jack, I know that you care and you want to be here with me, but I really need to rest and not think, about anything, right now. Thank you for caring, but it's better if you leave."

Jack tried not to feel hurt or scorned, he reasoned that Samantha was not trying to upset him. Though he tried to sound understanding he knew he failed, "OK, I'll leave, tonight, but it's not because I want to, it's because you are asking me to."

Samantha nodded her head and walked to the door to emphasize that she would not back down. He followed her and leaned in to plant a kiss on her lips this time, but she turned away and allowed his lips to brush across her cheek. He was angered by this dismissal and turned to leave without another good-bye. Samantha closed the door behind him and chastised herself. She didn't have to turn away from him, it isn't like she's never kissed Jack before, but it just didn't feel right. "Probably the assault has affected me," she thought, but a small part of her knew that that was only an excuse.

* * *

Martin had not taken his eyes off the elevator and became tense and excited each time its doors opened. Finally, he was rewarded as Jack came out of the elevator and looked upset. Martin took a perverse pleasure in knowing that Samantha had pushed him out of the apartment tonight too, although he knew that he wanted Samantha to be happy. He just hoped that her happiness didn't include being with Jack. Jack's leaving the apartment building renewed Martin's resolve to stay put to protect Samantha so he turned his eyes once again to the building entrance.

* * *

Martin must have dozed off, but the ringing of his cell phone woke him with a start. He glanced at the identity of the caller and quickly rose to his feet. He punched the elevator button while he answered the call. "Samantha, what is it? Are you alright?"

A frightened Samantha answered, "Martin, I'm scared. I think I had a nightmare, it was so real, it felt like, like I was out there, but you weren't there, no one was there to help me and these guys …"

Martin kept punching the elevator call button, where was this thing he thought. He decided to take the stairs. He spoke calmly and softly to Samantha, "It's OK, it was a nightmare. You know we were there for you, you know we wouldn't have let anyone get you." Finally the elevator arrived and he pushed her floor. "Get up, get out of bed," he commanded. "Go into the kitchen and turn on all the lights in your apartment, I'm on my way."

Samantha heard Martin's words and they jarred her to get out of bed. She immediately turned on the bedroom light and looked at the clock, 3:30 am. She had barely made it into the kitchen, still clutching the phone, when she heard a knock at her door. She let out a scream, afraid of who could be at her door at this hour.

Martin heard the scream and realized that Samantha was still on the phone even though he was waiting at her door. "Samantha it's me at the door, let me in."

Samantha started for the door, but was confused at how Martin had gotten there so quickly. She opened the door and Martin, breathing heavily, immediately embraced her and she forgot all about questioning him about his quick arrival.

Martin wrapped his arms around Samantha and she felt so cold and small. He turned to secure the door and then picked her up in his arms. She was so light and she clutched him tightly. He walked her back to the bedroom and laid her down. He covered her up and lay down next to her and held her while she cried and replayed her nightmare to him. He shushed her and rocked her until she fell back asleep.

TBC


	15. Comfort

Chapter 15 – Comfort 

Saturday Morning, May 29, 2004 

Before opening her eyes, Samantha inhaled a musky smell. "Mmmm," she thought, this is a good dream. Slowly she opened her eyes and stared at the cotton shirt that clung to the body lying next to her. "A very realistic dream." She was about to close her eyes to recapture every detail when curiosity got the better of her, she decided to see who she had been dreaming about. She raised her head and saw Martin sleeping peacefully. His normally clean shaven face was scruffy and his hair was tousled. She smiled unconsciously and snuggled closer to his warm body eager to continue the dream.

Martin didn't know why he had woken up, but he quickly remembered where he was. He gazed down at Samantha, whose head lay upon his chest. His heart skipped a beat being this close to her. He pulled his arms around her tightly and willed that the moment would never end.

Samantha felt arms wrap around her and for the first time thought that perhaps this wasn't a dream. She opened her eyes and again and looked up at Martin. His eyes were open now and stared into hers. "Good morning," he said.

"Good morning," Samantha replied, confused as to why Martin was actually in her bed. She tried to shake the sleep from her head and recall last night, had she, had they? But it all came back to her, the nightmare and calling Martin. Now that she was reminded she couldn't believe how she had been able to forget.

Martin tried to figure out what Samantha was thinking, but failed. "I hope you don't mind, I mean mind me being in your bed this morning. I just didn't want to wake you once you finally fell asleep." He paused, then made a move to get up, "Oh, but I guess you're awake now so I can…"

Samantha stopped him from finishing, "No, please stay, I'm glad you were here. I even forgot all about yesterday for a few minutes. But now that I remember I've got to ask, how did you get here so quickly when I called you? It was three in the morning and you live an hour away."

Martin looked down, embarrassed to answer. It was a great plan, waiting downstairs so he could be here if she needed him, but how could he tell her without sounding like a love-struck fool? "Well," he began, "I was, when you called that is, I was … in the lobby."

"You were where? In my lobby? What were you doing there?" Samantha asked.

As Martin fumbled for a plausible reason for his stalker-like actions, Samantha tried to comprehend that Martin had watched out for her all night in her uncomfortable and drafty lobby. She looked at him, saw him struggling for words, and decided that she didn't need him to give her a reason. "Oh, I didn't think it was important last night why you were here so quickly, I was just glad that you were. So I guess it doesn't matter today. Just, thank you, thank you for coming."

Martin convinced Samantha that he wasn't going to leave her today and that he was prepared to spend the entire weekend making sure she rested and didn't overexert herself. Outwardly, Samantha put up a short-lived resistance, but was grateful that she wouldn't have to be alone. Throughout the day, Martin made breakfast and lunch and the two talked and laughed. After lunch, Martin insisted that Samantha take a nap and she complied.

Hours later Samantha woke up, surprised that she had slept so long. She remembered that Martin was in the other room and expected him to be bored and restless. After all, she'd kept him cooped up in this apartment all day long. She crept out of bed to see what Martin was doing, expecting him to be scanning the television channels or pacing the floor looking at his watch. However, she was pleasantly surprised when she saw Martin contentedly reading a book; he didn't look like he had anywhere else to be.

Later that night as Martin and Samantha were criticizing some reality show, the front door intercom buzzed. Martin immediately moved to answer it and Samantha realized how easy it was to have Martin in her life right now. "Who's there?" Martin asked. There was a pause and Martin repeated, "Who is this?"

Then from the other end was Jack's voice, "It's Jack. Can I come up?"

Martin glanced over at Samantha, trying to get a 'yeah' or 'nay' from her while he spoke, "Oh hey Jack, it's me Martin." Samantha had nodded her head slightly assenting that it was OK to let Jack up so he continued, "Come on up."

Samantha looked at Martin and felt that she owed him an apology, but she didn't know why. "Martin, Jack is a friend, he just wants to make sure I'm OK."

"Samantha, you don't have to justify your relationship with Jack to me. Remember we're just friends, right?" Martin wished she would respond to his rhetorical question, but didn't give her a chance. He marched toward the kitchen, "I'll start making dinner." Before he passed into the kitchen he turned around, "Unless you want me to leave?" He decided that he wouldn't let her not answer that question and kept his stare on her until she answered.

"No, Martin, I don't want you to leave. It's been a hard week and I need as much support from my friends that I can get." Samantha still didn't know what to do about Jack so she thought that promoting friendship all around would be the best strategy.

When the bell rang, Martin called out, "I'll let you get that."

So Samantha eased herself from the couch and answered the door. She saw Jack carrying two bags of groceries. "Jack, hey, it's good to see you. Come on in."

"Samantha, I brought some food for dinner, I thought I could make you my specialty," Jack said as he walked through the door.

"Oh, that's very nice of you, but Martin just started dinner. Perhaps it's not too late to change what he's making." Samantha tried smooth over the awkwardness of both Martin and Jack being there.

Jack intoned, "Well, I only brought enough for two, I didn't know that Martin would be here."

Samantha could feel the tension mounting, she had to talk to Jack, alone. He was reading too much into Martin being there. "Hey, let me take these bags into the kitchen. We need to talk. Take off your coat, I'll be there in a sec."

Samantha took the bags into the kitchen and set them on the counter. Of course Martin had heard Jack's comments about dinner and Martin did not look happy. He had lost some of his resolve to stick around and looked at Samantha and simply stated, "If it will make you happy, I can leave, it's not a big deal." But to Samantha, it looked like it meant a great deal to Martin.

"No, I need to talk to Jack anyway. Please, just stop what your making for now and we'll see what happens after our talk. You can read or watch television in the living room." Samantha pleaded with Martin, trying to make him feel welcomed, but knowing that he felt defeated. She got a nod from Martin and she headed back into the living room to take care of Jack.

She gestured for Jack to follow her into the bedroom for privacy. "Look Jack, there's no reason for you to be jealous that Martin is here. I asked him to come, he's been great to make sure I get my rest."

Jack retorted, "I would have come if you'd have asked, I should be the one here for you now."

"Jack, no, no you shouldn't be the one here for me now." After making that statement, Samantha realized how true it was. "I don't know where we stand and just having you here puts pressure on me to define our relationship." Samantha tried to get Jack to understand her point of view. "With Martin I know the boundaries of our relationship, we're friends, there's nothing from the past to cloud that." Although she said the words she knew that she wasn't being completely truthful. She wasn't sure of the boundaries between her and Martin, but at least she didn't feel pressured by him right now. "Like I said last night, I understand that you want to be here for me, but it's best if you aren't physically here. I will call on you if I need to. I know it hurts to hear, but right now you are preventing me from getting past these last couple of days and I need you to leave."

Jack heard the words and was stunned. He was being completely shut out of her life and that is exactly the opposite of what he wanted. He began to put up a fight, "Just let me stay for dinner, I just want to make sure you are fine."

Samantha interjected, "Jack, if you want what is best for me you will leave. I don't have anything against you, it's just the situation." Samantha pleaded with Jack, "Please, don't make this any harder than it already is."

Finally, Jack conceded, he turned from Samantha and headed out of the bedroom. He passed Martin who was sitting on the couch, "Martin, I can't stay for dinner, but please feel free to eat up, don't want it to go to waste."

Samantha followed him to the door. Jack turned to her, but did not try to kiss her this time. Instead he whispered, "Call me when I'm not a nuisance in your life."

"Jack, please, don't do this. You're not a nuisance, it's just, I just can't handle all of this right now. I'll call you when I'm ready, more ready, to deal with us, okay?" Samantha's eyes searched Jack's face, begging for him not to hate her.

Jack waited and then affirmed, "I'm OK. I just want to help you, but if this is the best way to help, I guess I can stay away, but only if you don't shut me out forever. Promise?"

"I promise," Samantha vowed. "Later."

"Take care," Jack murmured as he let her shut the door behind him.

Samantha turned around and looked at Martin, "Sorry for that." She tried to think of an explanation to go with the apology, but no plausible ones came to mind so she dropped it. Martin had raised his head from his book, he'd heard everything that was said. Despite looking engrossed in his reading he'd been readily eavesdropping. Samantha had confirmed that she was thinking of starting a romantic relationship with Jack again and that she and Martin were only friends. He was disappointed although he'd made references to her that they were just friends, he'd hoped that she had not believed him.

Martin got up from the couch and finished with dinner. The two ate in relative silence and then Martin made up the couch. He planned to sleep over tonight and Samantha put up little resistance as she was not too eager to be alone.

TBC


	16. The Calm Before the Storm

Chapter 16 – The Calm Before the Storm 

Sunday, May 30, 2004 

Samantha awoke early Sunday morning, her heart was racing and she felt like screaming. As soon as she opened her eyes she realized that she was safe and in her own apartment and that Martin was nearby if she needed him. She hated feeling like she needed someone close, hated that, after years of living alone, she couldn't make it through the night without someone. She knew that she'd never get to sleep again so she got up to get something to eat. She perused the refrigerator and found nothing, but she heard Martin's voice, "Sam, is everything OK? Do you need something? Did you have a nightmare?"

She heard him call her 'Sam' and although that's what Jack called her she never liked the nickname. But coming out of Martin's mouth, mixed with the concern he had for her, she realized that it was the most comforting sound she'd ever heard. She felt that he had used the nickname because he couldn't waste the time pronouncing all of the syllables of her name, instead he had urgently wanted to know if something was wrong. She turned from the refrigerator and went to Martin on the couch. Without saying a word she lay down beside him, pulling his arms around her, and closed her eyes. Being in Martin's arms had a soothing effect and she was quickly asleep.

By midmorning, Samantha had cabin fever. She was not used to staying in her apartment this much and she was tired of sitting and resting and being babied. Martin understood her restlessness and he also needed to stop by his place. They hopped in a car and made a quick stop so he could change clothes and check his messages. Then Martin took Samantha out to a fabulous (and restful) lunch. Then he let Samantha pick a movie for them to see and, of course, she picked a romantic girl flick. She decided that she wanted to see how easy it was for the women in the movies to fall in love for the rest of their lives. Martin didn't mind, he was glad to be out having fun with Samantha and he was happy that she was not thinking about everything that had happened.

Martin stayed at Samantha's through the holiday weekend. Samantha had made it through both nights without incident and while Martin was glad that she was healing he was a bit disappointed to wake up alone on the couch.

Martin was determined to go to work on Tuesday, but he was able to convince Samantha to take leave due to her work-related injuries. She wasn't ready to see everyone and submit to their barrage of inquiries into her well-being. So bright and early Tuesday morning Martin shooed Samantha back to bed as he left and made her promise to get some more sleep. "Call me if you need anything or if anything seems out of the ordinary," he offered. She agreed and after locking the door when he departed she padded back to bed.

Immediately upon arriving at work, Martin called the county courthouse. He had to find out when the arraignment would be for the Samantha's three attackers. He was informed that the hearing, in which bail would be arranged, was scheduled for 3:00 pm. Martin had trouble concentrating on work and felt that Jack was avoiding him. "Well, that's OK," thought Martin, "because I'm kind of avoiding Jack too." Martin knew that if he were alone with Jack for too long he'd let Jack know that he had had his chance with Samantha and he'd let her go, he needed to let Samantha move on.

That afternoon, Martin left the office to attend the bail hearing. He slipped in the back of the courtroom, he didn't want the defendants to see him because they might recognize him from that day. It appeared that he went unnoticed. All pleaded not guilty, a testament to their stupidity, the FBI and locals had them dead to rights on tape not only attempting to rape an FBI officer, but confessing to several murders. Martin was rewarded though as bail was set at an astoundingly high level. He returned to the office, safe in the knowledge that these three would never raise that much money for bail or bond.

As a precaution, before he left work for the night, Martin called up the jail. He inquired into the well-being of the three defendants and was told that only two were still there. "What do you mean only two?" he questioned the guard.

"I'll double-check, but I'm pretty sure that one of them posted bail and left, just a little while ago." The guard put him on hold as she went to check her log book. Martin's mind was reeling. How could one of them have gotten out, back on the streets? The guard's voice returned, "Yes, someone posted bail for John Mariouchi as soon as he returned to his cell."

Martin could hear himself saying thank you and hanging up. John Mariouchi was the leader of the little gang and must have pretty good connections to raise that kind on money in such a short time. Martin bolted from his desk, he had to get to Samantha's place before Mariouchi did. Samantha didn't know it, but Martin did, that Mariouchi knew exactly who she was and probably where to find her.

TBC


	17. Unexpected News

Chapter 17 – Unexpected News 

Tuesday Night, June 1, 2004 

Martin hailed a cab and rushed to Samantha's apartment. He called her on the way to let her know that he was coming and to be careful about who she buzzed in the building. He didn't want to alarm her, but didn't know if he would be there in time.

Finally, the cab stopped at the apartment and the cabbie was happy to let Martin off, the man had been the most impatient customer he'd ever had. Martin raced to the intercom and restrained himself from repeatedly pressing the buzzer. Each moment that passed while he waited for her to answer, his mind was envisioning all of the horrible things that may have happened to prevent her from coming to it. Next to Martin, another resident had used his key to access the building and held the door for Martin, he accepted gratefully, but wondered how many others had been let in without being identified.

He skipped the elevator as he had the other night and raced up the flights of stairs. He arrived at her door out of breath and yelled, "Sam, Sam, it's me, let me in." Samantha immediately opened the door, she had just answered the intercom and had been greeted by silence. She tensed, thinking that Martin had used the shortened version of her name again to convey urgency.

Upon the door opening, Martin barraged her with questions, "Are you OK? Is there anyone here? Has anyone tried to get in? Why didn't you answer the buzz?"

Finally, she was able to interrupt the string of questions enough to let him know that she was alright, that no one had tried to come by and see her. She was confused and didn't know why Martin was acting so strangely, so protectively.

Martin paused for a second and noticed that Samantha was staring at him as if he had lost his mind. He reminded himself that Samantha didn't know the whole story, that she didn't realize why he had come so abruptly to her apartment. He made himself calm down, calm down for her sake. He reached out to touch her arm, comfortingly, "I'm sorry, I guess I'm overreacting."

"Overreacting to what?" Samantha asked, still puzzled.

"It's just, well, that Mariouchi guy posted bail this afternoon and I wanted to make sure he didn't come after you." Martin had grabbed onto her other arm too and holding her at arms length looking into eyes. He told himself that he was trying to reassure her, that all was okay, but he knew that he was also trying to draw strength from her.

Samantha felt the tension in Martin's hands and felt that the trembling wasn't just from the run up the stairs. She still didn't understand though, how could Mariouchi come after her, he didn't even know who she was, much less where she lived. She figured that Martin really was overreacting and she lead him to the couch. "You need to sit down, Martin, you're trembling. Let me get you something to drink."

"I'll come with you," he responded as he practically leapt off the couch. He knew he needed to calm down, but the thought of Samantha being alone, even in her own kitchen with him in the living room made him react.

"Martin," she said, and then louder, "Martin." Finally his head jerked toward the sound of her voice. "I'm just going into the kitchen, I'll be gone for a second, I'll be okay."

He allowed her to leave his side, but he watched her until she disappeared behind the kitchen wall and then he called out, "Samantha?"

"Yes," she responded.

"Oh, nothing, just checking." Samantha couldn't believe that he was 'checking' on her although he had just seen her enter the kitchen. She had to know what had spooked him, but his actions were really scaring her. She stared at the pantry wondering if there was someone hiding in it, although she knew that no one could have gotten in. Still the fear was there. She grabbed the pantry door and whipped it open. "See," she told herself, "nothing to worry about, no boogie monsters in my closet."

She brought Martin's water to him in the living room and sat on a chair facing the couch. The water nearly spilled when she passed it too him, his hand was shaking and he quickly set the water down. She had to know what was wrong. "Martin, talk to me, tell me what is worrying you so much. You said that you were scared that Mariouchi would come after me, but he doesn't know who I am. How could he find me?"

Martin scooted to the edge of the couch and took both of Samantha's hands in his and he began. "Remember during the op., we had just started and it looked like the guys weren't going to show. Remember that Jack offered you a chance to get out, to stop the op. I know you remember because you were furious with him."

Samantha forced herself to remember the incident, she had been upset with Jack for not believing in her abilities. Martin continued, "And then, after the guys … well after they got you. I kept telling the team to go in, to take them down without waiting for your signal. Well, you didn't have all of the information."

"Didn't have all of the information? What do you mean? We had just finished the pre-briefing, what was kept from me?" Samantha was a bit irked that she had been the undercover officer, but was obviously not on a need-to-know basis.

"Nothing was kept from you at the pre-brief, it was information we discovered during the operation, we didn't have the time to tell you about it." Martin was trying to ease into revealing the frightening information.

"Well, the op has been done for days now, why hasn't anyone …"

Martin cut her off, "we had hoped that you'd never need to know. But with Mariouchi being out of jail, it can't be helped." Martin squeezed her hands tighter as if to brace her for the statement he was going to make. "You see, Samantha, while you were running through the park and we were following in the woods we found an … an empty grave."

"You found what? How did you know it was a grave? It could have been hole, probably dug by some animal." Samantha tried to process the information, wondering why they had immediately thought it was a grave.

"It was a grave, Samantha. We know it was because traced in the dirt above it were the letters RIP, you know for Rest in Peace." Martin paused to allow Samantha to understand that they had really found a grave.

She spoke, "OK, so some kid dug a grave in the park and marked it like he'd seen in the movies. We didn't even know that these kids were killers until they'd attacked me. You and Jack were pleading with me to end the op earlier than that. Besides even if they had dug a grave, that doesn't mean they'd know where to find me now, they still didn't know who I was." As she spoke the words, Martin was shaking his head slightly as if he were negating the calm rational words she was speaking. Her confidence was shaking and she added, "they still didn't know who I am, right?"

Martin heard the question in her voice and knew that she wanted him to respond quickly in the affirmative, but he couldn't do that, he hadn't finished telling her everything that was written at the grave. "Samantha, underneath the letters was more writing. It said, 'SA Spade'. You know for Special Agent Samantha Spade. As soon as we saw it we knew what they were planning, murder was a lot more than we had predicted when we started the op. The whole team wanted to get you out of there because somehow these cretins had found out who you were and they intended to kill you."

Samantha had gone white upon hearing that her name was on the grave. Her mind went blank, but she vaguely felt Martin hands holding hers, squeezing them tightly. Martin kept talking, "So when I found out that the leader had made bail, I, I had to find you. I mean we just assumed that none of them would be able to raise that kind of money and we hadn't even told you that you could be in danger. If something had happened before I got here, I, I don't know what I'd do. I'm sorry, I'm sorry we didn't tell you, you deserved to know, but it's so awful, we didn't want you to know."

Samantha wasn't fully comprehending Martin's words, she kept flashing back to that morning in the park. She tried to envision the space in the trees that could have been her final resting place. In her mind she saw the terror on Martin's face when he read the words marking her grave, she heard his voice pleading with the team to end the op., to get her to safety. She had acted defiantly and was upset with Martin for not believing in her abilities. Finally, she no longer heard Martin's voice, he'd stopped talking and was staring at her. He pulled her out of the chair and next to him on the couch. He wrapped his arms around her and let the news sink in. Although he was attentive to Samantha he kept his guard up. He didn't know if Mariouchi had Samantha's address, but he wasn't taking any chances tonight.

TBC


	18. The Intruder

Chapter 18 – The Intruder 

Tuesday Night, June 1, 2004 

Martin and Samantha were still sitting on the couch. Martin's hand caressed Samantha's back, helping calm her, and willing her not to speak. He needed to give her time to digest this information. He had had several days and just the thought of that hole in the ground that was to be her grave still terrified him.

She couldn't get Mariouchi's face out of her mind. She spoke as if to no one, her words muffled by Martin's shirt as her head was pressed tightly to his chest, "I keep seeing him, standing over me, with a look of ownership in his eyes. Every time I close my eyes it's that face that I see."

As he held her he felt how cold she had gotten. In the span of just a few minutes, he realized how much the news had affected her and believed that she was going into shock. He realized that he had to be strong, strong for Samantha because she needed him, now more than ever. He spoke, "You're freezing, go into your room and climb under the covers." His sentences were commands, orders to her so that she would follow them without question. "I'll make dinner and bring it into you."

Martin realized that he still had his suit jacket on and he took it off and laid it on a chair. He felt the weight of the gun on his belt, but instead of being a burden it was a comfort. He pulled out the pots and pans to make dinner and had just put water on the stove to boil when he heard it--Samantha's shriek. She did not scream words, but shrill tones of shear panic with terrifying intensity.

He raced to the bedroom, drawing his gun as he ran. He stopped in the shadows outside her bedroom door. Slowly he peeked inside and a chill ran through his spine. There standing in Samantha's bedroom was Mariouchi, pointing a gun at Samantha. Samantha had apparently just crawled into bed surrounded by a sea of blankets and pillows, no weapons in sight. Mariouchi did not speak, he did not move, he simply glared at Samantha with pure hate in his eyes.

Martin knew that he had to get Mariouchi's attention away from Samantha. He hoped that she hadn't frozen in terror. He kept his body behind cover, but crouched low and aimed his gun at Mariouchi, then yelled, "Scumbag, over here." Ok so it wasn't the greatest line in the world, but his brain wasn't functioning at its normal level. Instead of having the desired effect, Martin's words must have enraged or frightened Mariouchi who fired his gun. Martin's first instinct was to go to Samantha, find out if she was okay, but he squelched that need and fired two rapid shots into Mariouchi's chest.

Samantha heard Martin's words directed toward the thug in her bedroom, she reacted in a split second by rolling off the bed, narrowly being missed by Mariouchi's shot. She slid open the top drawer of her dresser where she kept her gun. She was glad that she hadn't used the safe the agency had gotten her. She heard Martin's shots and turning saw Mariouchi fire another round, this one closer to where she was crouched.

Martin's shots seemed to have no effect at all. Mariouchi stood tall, unfazed, but his gun had found a new target. He was aiming at the door, towards Martin. Samantha's training took over, she carefully aimed her gun at Mariouchi's chest and fired two shots in rapid succession, followed by a third shot to the head. Mariouchi's head was thrown back and his body slammed into the wall behind him. Blood began trailing down his face in small rivers, he fired another shot, but there was no target it was only the reflex of a dying man. His body slid down the wall until it rested, slumped in an awkward, prone position. Samantha's head turned toward Martin, he had come into the room during the gunfight, but appeared to be unscathed. Without taking his eyes off of Mariouchi, he called out pleadingly, "Sam, are you okay? Were you hit?"

Samantha could hear the urgency in his voice although he tried to sound calm. She turned back to Mariouchi's body and responded, "I'm fine, he missed, all of his shots missed me."

Finally, Martin glanced over at Samantha, he could see the tension in her body, she was still poised for action. He motioned for Samantha to climb over the bed and toward the door, she reached him and he instinctively put his arm around her. "Are you sure you're okay?"

She allowed him to envelop her in his arm and she buried her face into his chest. She concentrated on her breathing and slowly, silently she began to sob. At first, it was two lonely tears that disappeared into the cloth of Martin's shirt, but soon her body was shuddering by the force of the emotions coming out of her. The emotion from all the times that she had wanted to be strong and had forced the tears to remain inside her were flowing out of her body into the one person she let see her vulnerable.

Martin, without lowering his gun or his guard, allowed Samantha to lean on him. He could feel the tension release with every breath she took in. He knew he needed to call the police, but he also knew that she needed this, needed this release. Finally, he felt her breathing return to normal and she pulled her face away from his sopping shirt. The Samantha he knew had returned, she spoke clearly, "We should call the police, I want him out of my apartment and out of my life for good." Samantha moved out of the room to the phone in the kitchen. Martin still had not lowered his gun and was watching not only the unmoving body, but the window through which he had entered.

Samantha returned to Martin's side and before long they heard the familiar and welcoming sirens of cop cars. Samantha let the police in and finally Martin was able to let down his guard. He realized that he had been sweating and was cold from the breeze coming in through the open window. An officer beckoned Martin and Samantha to follow him into the living room, he needed to find out what had happened. One of the detectives interrupted by saying, "Agents, you know policy, anytime there's a shooting I need to confiscate the weapons involved. I need your guns."

Samantha and Martin knew the drill, they were not to surrender their weapons to anyone except their supervisor, therefore, Jack would have to be called to the scene. Samantha had forgotten about her relationship, could she call it that, with Jack during the commotion, but now she wondered how he'd react knowing that she'd been in grave danger and had shot and killed a man. Martin was thinking about Jack's arrival too, he wondered how Samantha would respond to Jack now, knowing that she had been as close to death as she ever had been. Martin looked at the detective and told him to make the call to Jack Malone.

Jack arrived as Samantha was giving her statement of the events of the evening. The police had split Martin and Samantha up in order to get independent recollections of the night. Jack approached Martin in the kitchen and Martin tensed for what he assumed would be a confrontation.

Jack looked tired and worried and scared all at the same time. Martin caught a reflection of himself in a mirror near the entryway and realized that he had the same look as Jack. He figured out that the look must be inherent when someone you care about is or has been in danger. He thought, for the first time, that perhaps Jack wasn't being as selfish as he'd thought, that maybe, just maybe he really did have genuine feelings for Samantha; that she hadn't been just a distraction to him during his marriage. Caught up with those thoughts Martin spoke, "Jack, she's alright, she'd going to be alright."

Jack looked at Martin, not as a boss, but as a man who felt like he'd almost lost everything in one night. "I don't know Martin. So much has been put upon her lately, I just don't know how much she can bear."

"Jack, you've got to believe in her. She's strong and she knows it. Yeah, she needs to let someone in … people in more often, but she's going to bounce back. Mark my words, she will get past this." As Martin spoke, Jack saw Samantha step into the room behind Martin. She heard Martin's words which were full of confidence in her and her heart swelled with pride? … with joy? … with love? She didn't know, she didn't know what to think and before she could try to think, Jack was across the room. He threw his arms around her and she could tell he was crying himself.

Martin watched the embrace and knew that he couldn't leave tonight without telling Samantha, without telling her everything he felt for her. But before he could speak, the detective came into the room and informed Martin that they were ready for him. He didn't want to leave, didn't want to leave Samantha alone with Jack. Afraid of what might happen between them without him present, but he had no choice. He followed the detective out of the room and left Samantha alone with the man who was, not his boss, but his rival in love.

TBC


	19. Martin's Declaration

Chapter 19 – Martin's Declaration  
Tuesday Night, June 1, 2004  
  
Finally, the police and coroner had gone, only Martin, Samantha, and Jack remained in the apartment. Samantha was exhausted, but her mind wouldn't let her rest. It kept trying to make sense of the information and events of the night. Images of a grave with her name on it, the face of Mariouchi in her bedroom, the barrel of the gun, the sound of gunshots, it all melded together. She sank into the couch and pulled her feet up next to her.  
  
Martin saw how weary Samantha was and he stepped forward to comfort her, but stopped when he saw Jack out of the corner of his eye. A little voice inside Martin's head spoke up, "Go to her. Don't wait anymore. Damn Jack's feelings. She needs you." He continued walking toward Samantha and sat next to her. She moved into his open arms without prompting and without hesitation. Martin thought that Samantha fit perfectly in his arms and didn't ever want to let her go.  
  
Jack cleared his throat to bring attention to himself. Martin felt the urge to strike him because Jack was failing to recognize whose needs were important right now. Martin felt Samantha moving to face Jack, but Martin whispered to her, "Shh, shh, don't worry about him right now. It'll be okay."  
  
Martin turned his head to glare at Jack and thought, "OK, he wants to be here, he can make himself useful." He spoke, "Jack, can you get Samantha some water?"  
  
Jack flinched, he'd been startled by Martin's voice. He responded, "Oh, yeah, sure."  
  
Martin took advantage of Jack's absence to speak to Samantha. "Hey, let's get out of here. I'm going to take you to my place." He relinquished his embrace and got up. He was headed to Samantha's bedroom to pack a bag; he didn't want her to have to return to the apartment any time soon. Jack reappeared as he was leaving the room. Martin, unconsciously, glanced at Samantha; she saw this and nodded to him that it was okay.  
  
Jack sat next to Samantha and handed her the glass of water. He felt uneasy, both because of what had happened and the flux of their relationship. He hadn't known what to say to Samantha while the police were questioning Martin and he didn't know what to say now. He wished that he could reach out to her and hold her as Martin had, but he stayed at a distance. Samantha was grateful that Jack didn't try to comfort her. She felt awkward with him sitting there, uncomfortable about him being in her apartment at all, but she didn't really understand why. It's not like he'd never been in her apartment before, not like she'd never been intimate with him, but that seemed like so long ago. Neither had spoken and that only added to the awkwardness. Samantha saw Martin coming out of her room and she rose as she told Jack, "I can't stay here tonight. Martin has offered to let me stay with him."  
  
Jack rose with Samantha and began to protest Martin's offer, but stopped himself knowing that he had nothing adequate to offer. He thought about the apartment he had found in his haste to move out of the house. It was small with few furnishing. Plus there was the uneasiness between the two of them.  
  
Martin smiled to himself, Jack appeared to have given up without a fight. He was pleased for himself, but more so, he was relieved for Samantha's sake. He stepped beside Samantha, "I locked up everything; the apartment should be okay. Let's get out of here." Then he turned to Jack and threw him a bone, "Thanks for coming, Jack." He reached out and took hold of Samantha's arm and guided her out the door. Jack followed. Samantha reached back for the light switch and flicked it off, leaving the scene of the horror in darkness.

* * *

At Martin's apartment, Samantha looked around in awe. She'd never been there before and although she had imagined how the perpetually tidy, clean-cut Martin would live she was impressed. He had noteworthy art hanging on the walls and his leather couches accented the Oriental rug on the living room floor. There was a limited amount of furniture, just enough to be functional, giving the impression that the room was spacious. Martin had walked to the granite fireplace and ignited the gas flame so that a low fire burned. She followed him to the fireplace and stood absorbing its heat as she realized how cold her body was. Martin came to her from behind and wrapped his arms around her trying to spread his warmth to her. She closed her eyes and leaned her head back onto his chest. She let herself rely on him to keep her upright and tried to forget all of her cares. In Martin's arms everything felt like it was going to be alright.  
  
Samantha didn't know how long they stood there, but eventually Martin steered her toward the couch. He sat down next to her, but facing her, his face had a seriousness about it. Martin had promised himself that he would tell her about his feelings tonight, before another "incident" could rip them apart. He thought that the moment was right, Samantha had relied upon him all night and now, alone in his apartment, she had surrendered her control to him, allowing him to be her "rock."  
  
Involuntarily, Martin cleared his throat in preparation for what he was about to say. He gazed into Samantha's eyes and his heart beat uncontrollably in his chest. He was holding onto Samantha's hands and he began, "Samantha, I have to talk to you and I need to get through this so please don't stop me and don't interrupt. I don't know exactly how to put this, but I know that I have to say it. ... I can't deny it any longer." He felt Samantha's hands tense up and contract toward her body. He let her break the contact, he didn't need the distraction. His gaze dropped to his hands, which seemed bare without Samantha's. He continued, "Samantha, I, I need you ... I need you to know that I want to be more than friends, so much more. When I put my arms around you, I feel complete, I feel like you belong there." Finally, he looked up into her eyes again.  
  
Samantha couldn't meet his gaze. She knew what he was saying, had known it was going to come and didn't know how to react. She thought of the past few nights and how much she had needed Martin, needed him like she had never needed anyone before. But that was an unusual situation, times like that don't come around very often. She let her thoughts drift farther into the past. She had known how Martin had felt and she had never encouraged him, at least not until she found out that Jack was leaving. Jack. She had forgotten about him, but now it all seemed so clear. Jack was the catalyst in her relationship with Martin. She hadn't accepted Martin's advances until Jack was going to leave, but she didn't know what to do now that Jack was staying.  
  
Samantha was shaken out of her fog, she realized that Martin had continued talking, "I know I'm not saying this right and I know that this is not what you want to hear now. I don't want to be another confusion in your life, but after tonight, I couldn't go another day without you knowing. I've been scared for too long, calling us 'just friends' because I didn't want to wreck our friendship, but Samantha, I'm beyond friendship, I realized tonight that our friendship means nothing if I'm pretending all of the time."  
  
Samantha opened her mouth, knowing that she had to speak, but not knowing what she was going to say. Martin stopped her, "No, don't speak, I can see that you are not brimming with excitement. I know that you had hoped I had said a million other things than what I just told you, but I'm glad that I told you. By your enthusiasm," he said sarcastically, "I can guess how you feel, but I need to say one more thing." Martin took a long breath to get the courage to finish, "If you don't feel the same way about me, you have to be honest with me. I can't have you pretending, like I've been doing. You don't have to spare my feelings, you will just have to promise me that you will find happiness, because, Samantha, that's all I wish for you."  
  
Martin got up from the couch and quickly turned away from Samantha. He didn't want her to see the anguish that he was feeling. He had hoped that she would wrap her arms around him and return his feelings, but he had to accept reality. He walked across the room and picked up her bag. Without looking at her, he pointed to his bedroom and said, "You can sleep in here, I'll take the guest room." He dropped her bag off in his bedroom and got out towels and such for her. "Feel free to look around if you need anything or you can come get me. Everything has finally caught up with me, I'm going to crash." Finally he looked at her, "Are you okay for the night? Anything you need before I go to sleep?"  
  
Samantha tried to look up at Martin, but couldn't bear to. She knew that she would see in his face all of the hurt and pain that he was trying to hide and she wanted him to be able to keep it hidden from her. Slowly she shook her head, "I'll be fine, thank you Martin." She looked up as he turned to walk to the back bedroom. She had watched him all night, through telling her about her own grave until shooting her attacker, but it wasn't until he had poured out his heart to the woman that he loved and not had that love returned that he was defeated.  
  
TBC 


	20. Samantha's Decision, Part I

Chapter 20 – Samantha's Decision, Part I  
Wednesday, June 2, 2004

Samantha awoke in the morning, oblivious of the time of day. She lay in Martin's bed, taking in the unfamiliar surroundings and listening for any sounds from the apartment. She dreaded getting up and having to face Martin. She knew that she had hurt him in a way that they may never get past. But she didn't know how she felt about Martin or Jack or even herself right now. She had such a history with Jack, a couple of years ago all she wanted was to be with Jack and now that could become a reality if only she could decide if that's what she wanted.

Her thoughts drifted back to Martin, "he cares so much for me" she mused and he's been there every step of the way this week, but that's all it's been—one week. Could she have flip-flopped her feelings that completely? Two weeks ago she was brushing off Martin's advances, how could she be falling in love with him now. She didn't want to trust her current feelings because her emotions were too close to the surface.

She heard movement outside the room and she rolled over to look at the clock, it was past eleven o'clock. She couldn't believe she had slept that late, but then realized that she'd gone to bed about the time that daylight was breaking. She rolled out of bed and saw that she was wearing only a t-shirt. She had been too tired to rummage through the bag to see what sleepwear that Martin had packed. She padded into the bathroom attached to the room and faced all of Martin's personal items. She reached for his cologne and inhaled its sweet aroma, quickly she put down the bottle, feeling like she was invading his privacy. The smell brought back the memory of the night she spend wrapped in Martin's jacket, calmed just by the scent of him near her. She splashed some cold water on her face and ran a brush through her hair. She found some clothes and opened the bedroom door to face her reality.

Samantha cautiously peeked her head around the kitchen corner and saw Martin standing with his back to her. She took a deep breath to steel herself and standing in the doorway said, "Morning, Martin."

He turned to face her, startled by her presence, but quickly turned his attention back to the stove. "Morning," he mumbled. "When did you wake up? I tried to be quiet, but I was hungry." Martin forced himself to carry on a normal conversation with her even though his insides were being ripped apart by her rejection of him. Even though she hadn't verbalized her rejection he knew it was just a matter of time before she found the words.

Samantha could tell that he was trying to sound normal, but she knew he was battling other feelings within himself. She tried to carry on the façade though because she didn't know what to tell him. "Oh, I just woke up, I guess I'm hungry too. Got enough for two?"

Martin added more pasta to the pot and Samantha pulled down an extra plate. She went through the motions of setting the table and trying to "act normal." She thought of this past week, everything had been so fluid with Martin, she hadn't had to worry about the "right way to act" around him, but now it was different. They began to eat and the silence seemed to permeate the entire apartment. Finally, Martin looked at Samantha and queried, "So what do people do during the week when they don't go to work? I've been up for about an hour and I'm completely bored."

Samantha laughed at his comment, glad to finally let out a true emotion. "I think that you're asking the wrong person, I work more hours than you do." But that's the problem with small talk, it's small and usually short and after a few sentences you are back to silence.

As Samantha twirled her fork in the remains of the pasta that Martin had made she broke the silence. "OK, Martin, last night you told me I didn't have to spare your feelings and that I have to be honest; so here goes. You have been amazing this week, absolutely amazing. You've anticipated my feelings and been a rock for me when I've been like jelly. If my whole life were as eventful as this one well, well I'd probably kill myself, but seriously, I would definitely take a risk on having a relationship with you, but ... that's not my life. That was a weird week in the middle of a boring year of my humdrum life and so I can't rely on my current feelings. I have to go back to the baseline and Martin, baseline is that I didn't feel that way about you." She took a deep breath. She had spoken the rational, letting her mind control her heart. She tried to reassure herself that her decision was sound, based in fact and reality, not this fantasy life that she'd been living in this past week.

Martin had stopped eating, but he simply stared at his plate and didn't attempt to speak. He heard the words he'd been dreading, he had to face them and couldn't pretend that he had misread her face last night. He forced himself to raise his head and look into her eyes, "Thank you, Samantha. Thank you for the truth as you believe it is now. And even though you are telling me that you feel this way, I'm still glad that I revealed my feelings to you. I'm glad that I didn't keep on hiding away those feelings wondering if you were guessing at them and avoiding me or if you were oblivious, but felt the same. I'm still glad, I'll always be glad."

Samantha felt guilt rising up inside of her, it was because of her that he was feeling the pain of being unwanted. She wanted to hold him and take away his pain as he had with hers, but she knew that she could not. All she could do was offer him a simple, "I'm sorry, Martin."

He shook his head, "Don't be, Samantha. You've done nothing to be sorry about." And he meant it, the weight of no longer pretending and not knowing had been lifted and he actually felt better. Obviously, he didn't feel as good as he could have had she reciprocated his feelings, but he did feel better with the knowledge of where each of them stood. He knew that there was a void in his heart and that it would take time to heal, time and distance from Samantha.

To change the subject, Martin suggested, "Hey, let's do something this afternoon, we are both bored already, so let's get out of here. We'll catch of matinee or go to a ball game; something that we don't get to do because we work too much."

"Sounds good," Samantha replied, grateful at the thought of doing something rather than sitting around in silence all day. "I'll go get ready."

When Samantha had left the room, he made a call to Vivian, still his acting supervisor. "Viv, it's Martin. I need to take some time off."

"Oh, don't worry about today, or this week even, I marked you and Samantha sick. Jack filled me in on what happened. Is she okay? Are you?" Vivian asked.

"Yes, we're both okay, physically. It was pretty intense though. But I need to take some serious time off. Like a month. Do you think you could approve that?"

Vivian was surprised by Martin's request after all he put in so many hours each week at the office, "Are you really alright Martin?"

"Well, my mother called and she sounded sick, but she wouldn't go into it with me," Martin lied. "I'm really worried about her and want to be there for her, you know, without worrying about work and stuff."

Vivian sounded like she bought the story and approved the leave. Martin just had to convince Samantha of the lie and he'd be gone. He didn't know where he would go to try to force thoughts of Samantha out of his head, but he knew that he couldn't go on seeing her everyday at work and pretend that nothing had been said, that his feelings just disappeared.

Samantha reappeared about a half an hour later, freshly showered, her hair still glistening from being wet. "I'm ready to get out of here," she pronounced.

Martin grabbed his coat and away they went. The afternoon was fun as they relished the sunlight that they normally only viewed through their office windows. Martin tried to commit every action of Samantha's to memory, every tilt of her head, every laugh. He wanted to remember this moment because he knew it would be the last for a long time. Finally, just before they retired to their own rooms for the evening, Martin spoke, "Samantha, I got a call from my mom today, while you were in the shower. I think she's sick. She wouldn't tell me all of the details, but I don't know ..." he let his voice trail off, like he was contemplating a horrible death for his mother. "I'm going to take some time off, to be with her. I'm leaving tomorrow."

Martin could see the concern on Samantha's face and he knew that she believed every word he said. It was his turn to feel guilty. "Martin, I'm so sorry, do you want me to come with you? I could be there for you," Samantha offered.

"No, no, I think it needs to be my mother and me, but thanks for the offer." Martin felt like the lowest form of person on the earth, he never wanted to lie to Samantha, but couldn't think of any other options. "I was thinking, that since my place is going to be empty, if you wanted to stay here you could. At least until you feel better about going back to your place or somewhere else."

Samantha began to protest, she couldn't use his apartment while he was gone, but Martin cut in, "Please, it would make me happy to know that you are safe and that you feel safe."

Samantha gave in, "Of course, I'll accept your offer, plus your place is much neater than mine." She smiled and he savored it and committed it to memory like the others he had stored from the day. She spoke, "Well, I'll see you in the morning?" He could hear the hopefulness in her voice and although he was planning to leave before she awoke he couldn't bear to disappoint her.

He replied, "Yes, you'll see me in the morning. Goodnight, Samantha." He said her name one last time before heading to bed and wondered how he would ever get by without seeing her face everyday.

The next morning was a blur of activity. Samantha was determined to return to work, despite Martin's protestations. Martin was finishing last minute packing, still trying to figure out where he was going to go. They both approached the apartment door at the same time to leave. Samantha embraced Martin, "I hope that your mom is okay. You know my phone number, give me a call if you need me. Oh, hell, give me a call anyway." She saw him looking at her, almost longingly, and added impulsively, "We're going to be okay." It was a command, not a questions, as if she were reassuring Martin. He nodded, but couldn't utter any words. With that Martin was gone.

TBC


	21. Samantha's Decision, Part II

Chapter 21 – Samantha's Decision, Part II  
Thursday, June 3, 2004 

Samantha tried to concentrate on work the rest of the week. Jack was back in his old office and Vivian was still working with the unit. However, the team seemed handicapped without Martin, but nobody mentioned it, especially since he was gone to help his sick mother, not on some Caribbean island basking in the sun. She hoped they would be able to work effectively during the month Martin had told her he'd be gone. Although she was living at Martin's and hadn't visited her place yet, her life was returning to normal. She had her evenings to herself so she devoted some time to sorting out her feelings for Jack.

She forced herself to think back and remember the good and the bad times with Jack. She recalled the time that they were walking along the street in the rain. Jack had given her his jacket to cover her head with, but the material collected a puddle of water that dumped on her head when she tried to give him the jacket back, she ended up wetter than him. Then there was the way he kissed her neck that caused a chill to run up and down her spine. Involuntarily she smiled while these thoughts filled her head, but then she recalled that throughout their relationship they had to meet in secret and only when Jack could get away. This added an air of mystery to the relationship, but left her at home alone a lot too. But, she thought, "Jack's getting divorced, he wouldn't have to sneak around anymore."

The lonelier Samantha felt the more a relationship sounded good and the better that she made Jack out to be. Finally, she realized that the only reason they had broken up was due to his marriage and his marriage didn't exist anymore. It was as if she'd had an epiphany—"why am I not with Jack?" She was so elated that she rushed to the phone to call him, but she didn't have his new phone number. It was probably for the best. She realized that she should sleep on it, this was a big decision.

Suddenly she noticed where she was—in Martin's apartment. She felt like she was betraying him. He let her stay in his apartment while he was gone even after she had rebuffed his feelings and now she was thinking of resuming a relationship with someone else. As she moved about the apartment she felt guilt weighing down on her.

She forced herself to wait the weekend to ponder her decision about resuming a relationship with Jack. She needed the time because this was a huge decision. Also, she knew that she'd have to move out of Martin's place if she were going to date Jack. That meant that she'd have to go back to her own place and she dreaded that, despite wanting some clean clothes.

She thought about calling Jack to go with her, but realized that she'd have to go alone sometime. Besides, Jack didn't know the vulnerable side of her. The only person she let see her vulnerable was Martin.

Bright and early Saturday morning, Samantha braved the trip to her apartment. As she rode the elevator up her eyes were roving taking in every bit of the space. Her body tensed as the doors opened, but nobody was there. Cautiously she stepped out of the elevator and, clutching her key, approached the door. She listened from the hallway for any sound coming from the apartment, despite knowing that there was nothing to fear. For one second she allowed herself to wish that Martin were standing beside her, but she discarded that thought. She told herself that she didn't need anyone, she should be able to do this herself. With that, she stuck the key in the lock and quickly opened the door. As she threw the door open she stood to the side, out of view of anyone who may be in the apartment laying wait for her. Again, she had to tell herself that nobody was in there and no one was going to hurt her.

Finally, she took a step inside, again her eyes were taking in the entire space, looking for anything out of place or any sign that someone had been there since she'd left. Beyond the mess left by the police, it looked like home. She forced herself to go to the bedroom, the scene of the crime. As she saw the floor where Mariouchi had fallen her breath caught in her throat. She grabbed onto the door jamb to steady herself and she felt a wave of nausea come over her. She forced herself to calm down, but her eyes drifted over to the bed to a hole in the headboard caused by the bullet he had fired at her. In her mind she could see herself rolling off the bed and searching for her gun. She shook her head, she had replayed the night too many times, she couldn't let herself keep doing that. She pushed her body away from the door and marched into the kitchen. She pulled out all of the cleansers she had in the apartment. She had to get the blood off the floor and then she would shop for a new headboard.

She worked furiously for the next half hour, but the stubborn stain seemed fixed to the wood. She had worked up a sweat and actually felt good. The fight to eradicate the stain had given her an enemy, had given her some way to fight back at the evil that had entered her life. She was so used to being in control, used to creating her own destiny, but everything had been taken out of her hands by Mariouchi. Finally, she made herself stop, despite her effort it was useless with the supplies that she had. She decided to go shopping. The quicker she removed everything that reminded her of the incident the quicker she could return to her apartment.

Samantha spent the rest of the day and all of Sunday running around town. She found a gorgeous new bed frame at an antique shop and they delivered it ASAP and removed the old. She bought some industrial strength cleanser that removed the stain instantly. She rearranged the furniture in her bedroom and tidied up the apartment. By Sunday night she had moved back home.

She forced herself to make a decision about her next step with Jack. She was simply going to ask him on a date, nothing fancy, nothing special, just two people out for dinner who wanted to take things slow. As she fell asleep Sunday night, she was at ease because she felt that her life was finally coming together, that she was finally going to get what she wanted.

TBC


	22. Date Night

Chapter 22 – Date Night  
Monday, June 7, 2004 

Samantha awoke Monday morning and searched her closet for something special to wear. She wanted to look great for Jack today because she was going to tell him that she had chosen him. She spent a little extra time on her make-up and then made herself stop, she didn't want the whole office to know her intentions. Due to her eagerness, she was the first one from the unit to arrive at work. She forced herself to sit at her desk and not turn around every time someone entered the room.

It seemed like hours before Jack walked in. He looked haggard, like he hadn't slept all weekend. She thought that he may have been thinking about her all weekend and she smiled to herself because today she was going to ease his mind. He entered his office and immediately shut the door. Not a good sign. Samantha decided her "talk" with him could wait for a few hours. She busied herself in work and waited until Jack's door opened again.

It wasn't until noon that Jack emerged from his office, he called the team together and relayed that a past missing child of theirs whom they had returned to her parents had been killed in an accident over the weekend. Jack had been very close to the case and had kept in contact with the family, the death hit him hard. Samantha seized her opportunity. The meeting ended and she approached Jack and asked him to have lunch with her. He agreed.

They walked to a corner café near the federal building and sat by the window. Samantha offered him her condolences and his mood seemed to improve so she worked to change the subject. It was a tough job though, beyond work and his family, it had been so long that she didn't know what to talk to him about. So they discussed the weather and the presidential campaign until she had worked up enough courage to bring the conversation around to them.

Samantha began, "So, Jack, I've had some time this past week to think, to think about us."

Jack tried to read her face, but couldn't determine what she was going to tell him so he prompted her eagerly, "And...?"

"And, I realized that the only reason that we broke up was because you wanted to make your marriage work. It seems that that's not your goal anymore, so we'd be crazy if we didn't take another shot at this."

Jack's face erupted into an enormous grin, he wanted to get up and embrace Samantha then and there. He had nearly convinced himself that Samantha was going to forsake him, especially after all the time she had spent with Martin. The other night he'd seen how awkward he and Samantha had been and how at ease she'd been with Martin, it was then that he'd begun trying to move on without Samantha. But now, her words were like candy to his ears. He couldn't think and asked dumbfounded, "Do you mean it? Do you really mean you want to be back together?"

Samantha knew that Jack would be happy, but to this degree, she'd never imagined. His normally stoic exterior had been transformed when he let his emotions show. It almost didn't even seem like the same Jack. "Yes, we should be together, we belong together, right? I think we should celebrate with dinner tonight, anywhere you chose. But now we have to get back to work."

"Work? Work? How do you expect me to go back to work right now? I'm too ... Wow, I know I'm acting like a schoolboy, but I feel like you've given me a second chance and I don't want to take even one minute for granted." Despite his protests, they reluctantly rose from the table and returned to work.

Samantha continually stole glances at Jack whenever he came within eyesight of her, but his usual exterior had returned. No one in the office would guess from his actions or expressions that they were going on a date tonight. She made sure that she left before he did, no need to start any office gossip unnecessarily. She raced home to shower and shave—all those girly preparations. She realized that she hadn't been this excited about a date in the two years since Jack had broken up with her.

Promptly at seven, Jack picked her up. Samantha thought that he looked amazing even though he was still dressed in his work suit and revealed that he hadn't had time to go home and change. Jack appeared nervous especially when he saw how wonderful Samantha looked. "Sam, I'm ..., I tried to get away, but couldn't make it home to change. You look gorgeous."

Samantha heard the familiar nickname that only Jack used, well that she allowed only Jack to use. Then she realized that that wasn't exactly true, Martin had called her Sam and she had liked the sound of her name rolling off his tongue. She jerked herself back to the present. "It's okay Jack, you look great. Do you know where we are going?"

"Yes, I was able to take the time to make a reservation," Jack intoned.

Dinner went well, Samantha and Jack reminisced about their past and hinted to each other about their future. They were even able to talk about Jack's divorce and Samantha's attack. The awkwardness that appeared before seemed to have been erased. Jack drove Samantha back to her apartment and walked her to the door. He had been waiting for this moment the entire evening. It seemed like so long since he had kissed Samantha and the memory of those past kisses had not faded from his mind.

Samantha was waiting for this moment too, but she recalled the awkward kiss he had tried to give her last week and how she had turned her lips away from him relegating him to only a peck on the cheek. She hoped that he was not thinking of that moment, but to be safe she leaned in close to Jack, encouraging him.

Jack took the hint and planted his lips onto Samantha soft mouth. He eased into the kiss at first, but passion took over. His arms wrapped around Samantha and concentrated solely on feeling the kiss. Samantha let herself be completely taken over by emotion too. Finally, the kiss ended and Jack spoke, "Maybe I should take you up to your apartment, I wouldn't want to worry that something might happen to you once you're in the building."

Samantha built on his excuse to come up, "Oh, I whole-heartily agree, I don't know what sort of mobsters may be waiting for me inside. I would greatly appreciate an escort up to my apartment." With that they clasped hands and entered the building. Samantha pushed the button for the elevator and they tried to keep at a distance waiting for it. Finally, the doors opened to an empty car and they stepped inside. Immediately upon the doors closing, Jack reached for Samantha and they feel into a deep embrace. Jack's hands ran through Samantha's hair and he moved his mouth from her lips to her supple neck. Her body shuddered and she realized that the real touch of his mouth was much better than the memory of it. The doors opened and they moved clumsily toward her apartment door. She fumbled with the key and tumbled inside the doors. The couch was the nearest soft surface for them to lay upon and they fell onto it, tearing at each others' clothes. Jack's hands were roving Samantha's body refreshing his memory of her every curve, his mouth moved to her breast and she suppressed a small moan of pleasure.

The clock dinged the time in eleven long bells and Samantha's concentration was broken. Her head finally got to interrupt her heart to remind her that she had wanted to resume things slowly. Too much had happened recently to allow her feelings to take over completely. She gathered the strength to push Jack away. Jack, reluctantly, backed off with a puzzled expression on his face. Samantha apologized, "Jack, we shouldn't, not yet. It's too soon. We need to ..., I want to go slower. I want to go on some dates and make sure this is right. For God's sake you just moved out of you from your wife last week. Promise me that you're not mad."

Jack looked into Samantha's pleading eyes, "No, I'm not mad. But I won't lie, I'm frustrated. I think that we have two years of time to make up and I don't want to wait another minute."

"But we have a long time to make up for those two years, we have the entire future," Samantha reassured him.

Jack's confidence soared as Samantha talked about them being together in the future. He felt great and that made waiting a little better. He backed off and began to rebutton his shirt. Jack looked at Samantha again, "So, can I take you out tomorrow night? I'll drop you off at the front door, scout's honor."

Samantha laughed at her big Boy Scout, "Of course, tomorrow night sounds great. The hard part will be getting through the day knowing that you're only fifty feet away."

After Jack had left, Samantha got ready for bed. She was excited about this new-old relationship and couldn't imagine anything getting in the way of her happiness.

TBC


	23. A Lonely Weekend

_A/N: I've received lots of reviews from readers upset with the seeming J/S-ship of the story and have threatened to stop reading, but please don't leave. Stick it out a few more chapters and those of you who are M/S fans will be rewarded. For those of you who are J/S fans, sorry, but I'm surprised that you've stuck with me this long. Also, thank you for all of the wonderful reviews, I don't take the time each chapter to thank my readers, but I really appreciate your support and praise.

* * *

_ Chapter 23 – A Lonely Weekend  
Thursday, June 10, 2004 

Thursday night during dinner with Jack, Samantha reviewed the week. Dinner with Jack every night, don't know if that equates to taking things slowly, but she wouldn't change it for anything. Like usual, dinner ended and Jack took Samantha home. Although he continually promised to drop her off at the door of the building he always managed to make it inside her apartment for a short romp on the couch. She had held firm though and the couch was as far as he had made it.

After pushing him away for the night, Samantha made a decision, "Jack, I know that we are taking it 'slow' in kind of a fast way and I think that I've made you wait long enough. We've slipped back into our old relationship so well that I think we can zip to a 'fast' relationship starting with tomorrow night's dinner." Boy what a weird statement, to be announcing when she will allow Jack to have sex with her. But all week it had been like a joke. Him trying to get farther each night and her backing him off, after all it's not like it would be their first time.

Jack continued in a joking manner, "Oh, tomorrow night, what if I don't feel like it tomorrow?"

That made Samantha laugh, "Jack you always feel like it when I'm your partner."

"OK, I have already decided where we'll go to dinner then," Jack informed her.

"Oh, where?" she asked.

"McDonald's, they have the fasted drive-thru. I figure you can eat in the car and I can get you back here by 7:10. It leaves more time for the fun stuff." Jack smiled at his joke.

Samantha threw a pillow at him and declared that she wanted a real dinner, maybe even a seven course meal.

So Jack left and both were anticipating the following evening like teenagers. Samantha could hardly sleep all night.

Friday morning at work, Samantha and Jack kept stealing glances at each other and laughing whenever they thought about what would occur that night. How many adults planned when they were going to have sex, it seemed ridiculous to them both. However, Jack called Samantha into his office that afternoon. His face was somber and he closed the door and the blinds on the window. Samantha actually got excited, a little clandestine make-out session at work she thought. But Jack's words told her that the planned rendezvous would have to wait.

"Sam, I just talked to Maria on the phone. She already filed for divorce, last week in fact and we are trying to work out everything as quickly as possible. That includes custody of Hanna and Kate and as part of our agreement from last week I forgot that I get the kids this weekend, starting right after work tonight. Sorry, but our planned romance will have to wait." Jack looked more disappointed than apologetic revealing how much he was looking forward to tonight.

Samantha smiled and caused Jack to frown. He didn't know why she would be smiling at this news. She told him, "I guess we are destined to take things slower. Although I can't say I'm not happy to hear that your divorce is already in the works."

"Yeah, Maria, didn't waste any time in filing, I got the papers on Monday and reviewed them with my lawyer on Tuesday. The basic stuff you know." Jack didn't want to go into the details with Samantha, he just wanted his marriage to be over so that he could move on.

"OK, I guess I'll see you on Monday then, how about dinner and a little sleepover?" Samantha offered.

"Sounds wonderful. Or you could hang out with me and the girls." As soon as Jack said it he realized it was a horrible idea, but Samantha knew this too.

Samantha responded, "Jack, you don't want me around yet. The girls, at least Hannah, are old enough to know what the 'other woman' is and you don't need that at this time in you marriage, uh, your divorce."

Jack nodded, "You're right, everything is so confusing right now."

"But it will all get figured out, we have the rest of our lives, right?" Samantha reassured him.

"Right." With that Samantha got up to leave his office, she had a whole weekend to fill up now that her plans had been spoiled. She mused to herself that, in the past, plans with Jack had always been cancelled at the last minute and she had thought that that part of their relationship would have ended along with Jack's marriage.

* * *

Samantha busied herself around her apartment and decided that, since she hadn't told Martin that she had moved out of his apartment, that she'd go check on things at his place. She picked up the pile of mail that had accumulated during the week and let herself into his apartment. It was unchanged and she still felt a stab of guilt rise within her as she crossed the threshold. 

As she placed the mail on the counter she noticed that he had several messages. She didn't want to invade his privacy, but thought that they might be important so she pressed the play button. Martin's voice came over the phone, "Samantha, you there? Don't worry about picking up the phone, I want you to feel at home. Samantha? ... OK, so maybe you really aren't there. I'll try to call again later." The second message was from Martin also, "Hey Samantha, just wanted to check in and make sure you're okay. Give me a call on my work cell, I'd like to hear from you." The machine told her that he'd left that message on Tuesday. Whoops, it was Saturday and she hadn't called him back, she hoped he wasn't worried about her. The third and fourth messages were unimportant solicitations, the fifth was from his mother telling him to call her. Samantha thought it was strange that his mother would call him at the apartment when he was with her, but she dismissed the thought. The last message was from Martin again. "Samantha, haven't heard from you, I hope everything is okay." The next statement was said in a low voice, almost as if it were to himself, "Maybe I should go back, but I don't know if I can get a flight." Then the voice was back to normal, "I'll call you at work on Monday, if I don't hear from you. Call me." That message was sent this morning. She wondered what he meant by a flight home, she'd figured that he had driven to his mother's, not needed to fly. But she put the thought out of her head and figured out what she'd say to Martin when she called him.

Samantha decided to keep her conversation with Martin light and short. She'd let him know that she moved back home and that's why she hasn't called, nothing more. She'd hope that his mother was doing well and tell him that the team missed him. That would be plenty she thought. She dialed his number and listened, with her breath held, to the ringing of the phone. He didn't answer, his voice came over the phone relaying that he was away, but to leave a message. Samantha hung up before the beep, she didn't know what to say to his voice mail. She thought that she could try him again later or would just wait until he called on Monday and avoid the whole conversation until then.

* * *

Martin kept pacing the room. He wanted so much to call Samantha. He had tried to sound cool and detached on the messages he'd left, but she hadn't even tried to call him back at all. What if something else had happened to her, what if one of the other thugs had come after her or if she was just too frightened to leave the couch to answer the phone. But the sensible part of him reassured him that she was fine; that she was an independent woman who wasn't used to and didn't like checking in with anyone, much less someone who she'd obviously hurt emotionally. It had been hell for him to wait since Tuesday to call, but he knew that if he was ever going to get over her that he couldn't call her everyday and couldn't think about her every minute. 

Martin's only solace came from believing that it was truly over between Samantha and Jack. As much as he wanted her to be happy he couldn't quite accept that being with Jack would make her happy. He recalled the way that Jack had given up when Samantha told him she was going to stay at Martin's place and how uneasy the two had seemed when left alone together.

Martin gave in and stopped fighting his urge to call Samantha. He thought, "I'll just call and if she doesn't answer I won't leave a message, then she won't think that I'm obsessed." He picked up his cell phone and saw that it was off, he realized that he had forgotten to charge it last night. It was for the best, it gave him the strength he needed to wait for her to call him and he put the phone down and got out of the hotel room.

When Martin left New York he decided to take a trip out of the country to prevent himself from making a quick return and decided upon visiting the Bahamas. He hoped that he could bask in the sun and cavort with the natives to help him forget his feelings for Samantha. However, the plan wasn't working. Every blond he looked at reminded him of her golden tresses and he was reminded of the last day they had spent together. He'd replay the images he'd memorized over and over. Finally, he packed up and traveled to Mexico where there were fewer blond distractions.

Mexico was better he thought as he sipped a margarita. He had left his hotel room and gone to a touristy bar. Sitting alone at the bar made him an attractive target for many single women visiting the country and he forced himself to accept an invitation to eat with a table of beauties in order to stop thinking about Samantha.

TBC


	24. A Twist of Fate

Chapter 24 – A Twist of Fate  
Monday, June 14, 2004 

Samantha hadn't heard from Jack all weekend and had tried not to think about him. She didn't dare call him because she didn't know who would answer the phone or if he'd be able to talk to her if he did answer. She sat at her desk at work and thought about the evening ahead of her, she actually had butterflies. She had restlessly roamed about her apartment on Sunday, straightening up here and there by changing the sheets and other gestures that Jack would probably not even notice. But she needed to prepare, since they had planned their next meeting she felt a lot of pressure and wanted everything to be perfect.

She had waved hi to Jack when he arrived that morning, but hadn't had another chance to talk to him all day and so had buried herself in her work. She became aware of a man standing over her desk. She didn't recognize him and he made no move to introduce himself. He asked, "Samantha Spade?"

"Yes, can I help you?" she replied.

"You already have," the man stated handing her an envelope. Then he turned and walked away.

Samantha was a bit dumbfounded and quickly examined the envelope. In today's day and age it pays to be cautious, but she reasoned that the messenger had to have gotten through building security so somebody knew who he was. The envelope wasn't sealed and she carefully tapped it upside-down on her desk. No unidentified white powder fell out, only a piece of paper. She reached for the paper and unfolded it and she gasped as she read it.

The paper had slipped out of her hands because of her astonishment, but she picked it back up and made herself read every single word. Then she marched into Jack's office and slammed his door shut. She wasn't thinking about the commotion she was causing, only about her anger toward Jack.

Jack looked up from the file he was reading on his desk and stared in shock at Samantha.

She didn't wait for him to react to her entrance, but launched into a tirade of questions. "How long before you told me Jack? What were you thinking? Don't you know they are going to ask about our present relationship? God, you're not even divorced yet and here we are picking up where we left off. That's going to make for good testimony. I guess we're no longer a secret. How long before they transfer me? Oh, didn't think about that did you, well I did and I knew the risk, or thought I knew the risk. My word Jack, don't you think at all."

Finally, she paused and noticed the confusion on Jack's face so she backed up. "I got served a subpoena ... to appear at a deposition ... for your divorce. Your wife is filing for divorce based upon adultery, I guess she didn't want to bother with a trial separation. I've been subpoenaed to testify to our relationship. Ring any bells?"

Jack's head slowly fell back and his eyes glazed over. "Fuck," he yelled. Then he mumbled, "Not yet, it's not supposed to happen yet."

"Not yet? Not yet?" Samantha repeated, "So you did know about this. When were you going to let me in on it? After you'd finally gotten me into bed again?" Samantha wasn't thinking about who was overhearing them, she knew that the jig was up. Anyone who hadn't known about their past relationship would surely know now and nobody would have to feint ignorance anymore. And she didn't care that the accusations she was flinging at Jack were hurtful, she only knew that her life had been blown apart when the anonymous man handed her the envelope. She hadn't felt like this since that day so long ago before she started her new life, but she wouldn't let herself think about that. However, she hoped that Jack made the connection to her past and that he felt like an ass for doing this to her.

"No," he yelled back and then calmed down and added, "I was trying to work it out so that you didn't have to testify at all. Yes, I knew that she was going to try to depose you, but I thought that if I admitted to the affair she wouldn't have to go that far." Jack's voice lowered, "I didn't want you dragged into this."

"But I did get dragged in and I'm in it up to my neck. Didn't you think about this when we started seeing each other again? We dodged a bullet two years ago in not getting transferred or reassigned, but management isn't going to be able to overlook our relationship again. Didn't you realize that this would all come out? Why didn't you let me know so that we could wait to renew our relationship?" Samantha was exasperated, she saw so many parts of her life falling out of her control.

"I'm sorry, Sam," Jack began, but he was interrupted.

"Don't call me that," she said in a low voice between gritted teeth.

"I'm sorry, and no I didn't think about this, I didn't think at all, all I wanted was you. We've wasted so much time ..."

Again Samantha jumped in, "And whose fault is that Jack? I wasn't the one trying to convince myself that I was and should be married so don't blame wasted time on me."

"No, Sam, uh, Samantha, I wasn't trying to blame anyone, I just ... I want to be with you and I just wish all of this other stuff would go away." Jack tried to apologize to Samantha, but she wasn't looking for an apology, she was still upset.

"But it's not going to go away, Jack. You and I live in the real world and we have to deal with real issues. There is no more hiding like in the past. We can't have a relationship just when it suits you and then you go home to your picture perfect life." Samantha realized that she was yelling again. She also became conscious of the fact that she was raising some of the issues that she had discussed with Martin one Tuesday night, which seemed so long ago.

Jack looked incredulous, "Is that what you think this is? Do you think that I only want to be with you when we are having fun?"

"Well, maybe. Can you name one time that we've ever fought? This is the first time, outside of work, because every time something got tough you were able to leave or avoid seeing me. And your marriage kept us from ever discussing the future. And we didn't have to deal with other people, we were never a couple in public." Samantha thought back and seriously remembered how she had wanted to show Jack off and to dine with him at popular restaurants and to talk about living together and getting married. But all of those conversations were prevented before they were ever started because of his "picture perfect 'other' life."

She continued, "You didn't want to tell me about the deposition because you knew that I'd be upset so you kept it from me. Well guess what, I found out and I am upset and now you have to deal with it. I used to think that you were the one taking the risk since you were the one who was married, but this is my life that is being screwed up and I guess I need to start looking out for me.

"I'll show up for this deposition and you can bet that I'll tell the truth and when they ask me what our current relationship is I will honestly be able to say that we have none." Samantha stated the last words with defiance as she stared into Jack's eyes. She saw the astonished look on his face and he started to speak, but stopped himself. She turned and reached for the door, she pulled it open without another glance back at Jack and she strode through the office with her head held high.

She tried not to look around her at the stunned faces of her co-workers and friends, but she could tell that they were all staring at her wondering if they should stop her. She heard Jack behind her, he reached out for her arm, but she easily shook him off. He caught up to her again at the elevators, but he still didn't know what to say so he let her get on alone and watched as the doors closed.

Samantha was grateful that Jack didn't say another word. It had taken all of her resolve to tell him they were through. She knew it was the smartest thing she could do, but a part of her still wanted Jack and longed for him. She headed to her car and raced from the parking garage before anyone or any thing could stop her.

TBC


	25. An Unexpected Destination

Chapter 25 – An Unexpected Destination  
Monday, June 14, 2004 

Samantha had made it no farther than the first stoplight when her cell phone rang. She couldn't believe the nerve Jack had to call her and plead with her on the phone when he couldn't even give her one good reason to stay in person. She yelled with annoyance into the phone, "What?"

"Samantha?"

She heard Martin's voice on the other end of the line and immediately regretted the way she had answered. "Martin? I'm sorry, I, I thought it was someone else on the line."

"Well, I hope that I never get you angry enough with me to incur that sort of wrath from Samantha Spade." He laughed and hoped that he had broken the tension.

She smiled despite her mood. "Yeah, I hope that you never make me get this mad at you."

"So what's wrong?" Martin queried. "Why are you mad?"

Without thinking about it, Samantha jumped into her story, "It's Jack, he is such an ass. He doesn't think about anyone but himself most of the time."

"Calm down Samantha," Martin pleaded. "What has he done this time?"

But instead of calming down Samantha spoke louder into the phone, "He's making me testify for his divorce proceedings. And ... and he was too cowardly to tell me about it himself, he waited until I was served a subpoena."

Martin was blown away and didn't know how to respond, but he didn't have to. Samantha continued, "So this guy handed me the subpoena at work and I read it and I marched into Jack's office and let him have it." As she spoke her foot had depressed the gas peddle and she increased her speed with her intensity. "Unfortunately, I was none too discreet and if the office didn't know about my past affair with Jack they certainly know now. I ..." Her attention was drawn back to the road as she saw the red lights looming in front of her. She had merged into heavy traffic and hadn't noticed. She spun the wheel to the right while slamming on the brakes. She stopped just in time half on the road and half on the shoulder, and the car behind her had to swerve out of the lane to miss her. She rested her head on the back of the seat and tried to calm her breathing. She couldn't believe how close she had come to a pile-up. The light changed, the cars in front of her began moving, and she eased the car onto the road again.

During the commotion she had dropped the phone and just now realized that Martin was left hanging. She didn't have the time to find the phone so she called out to Martin, "Sorry, Martin, I dropped the phone. I'll call you back in a few." She drove to the nearest exit and pulled into the parking lot of a diner. She sat still until her breathing returned to normal and then began to rummage for the phone. She started to dial Martin's number, but realized that the phone still had a connection. She put it up to her ear and spoke tentatively, "Martin?"

"Sam? Is that you, are you hurt?" Martin's voice sounded frazzled.

"No, I'm fine, I narrowly avoided causing a huge car accident, but I'm fine." Samantha answered.

"Good, just a minute." She could hear him move the phone away from his ear and heard him speaking, "OK, I'm sorry, false alarm. No there was no accident, I just spoke to her, she's fine. Yes, I know, I'm sorry. Yes, I do realize that this number is for emergencies only. No, it will never happen again. Thank you."

Then he was speaking to her, "Sorry about that, had to get off the other line."

"The other line? And just who was on the other line?" Samantha inquired, puzzled.

"Umm, well, I called the cops." He answered sheepishly, but then defended himself, "You stopped mid-sentence and then I just heard expletives, and then I didn't hear anything. I was worried. I guess I overreacted."

"Yeah, I guess you did. It seems like you overreact around me a lot." Samantha knew that Martin was only worrying because he cared about her, but she wanted him to realize that she could take care of herself. "You know Martin, I survived for nearly thirty years without your help, I think I can drive home without you having to intervene."

Instinctively Martin pulled the phone back from his ear, surprised at the biting remarks. He was hurt, but he made himself shake it off and chalk it up to her bad mood. "So tell me, what is it you have to testify about for a divorce proceeding."

Samantha silently berated herself for being so hard on Martin, but she couldn't do anything about it now so she answered him. "Well, it turns out that Maria is filing for divorce based upon adultery and she called me as a witness to testify to Jack and my's relationship. I can't believe that we dodged the bullet two years ago and now our relationship is causing a problem." "What relationship?" she mused. She deliberated telling Martin about this past week with Jack, but decided that it would be tough on him to hear so she kept it to herself.

"Do you want me to come home? I could hop on a plane and be there, we could talk in person," Martin offered.

"No, I don't need you to come to my rescue," Samantha spat back at him.

"Samantha, when will you realize that it's not a matter of me rescuing you. I want to be there for you to confide in, to vent your frustrations to. I'm not claiming to be able to solve any of them, I just think that I can listen. I can call the airlines now if you want."

Samantha heard him mention airplanes again and, wanting to change the subject, finally asked, "Why didn't you drive to your mom's place? She lives just upstate."

Martin realized that he was operating under a ruse of leaving to help his sick mom and that she had caught him—after all, he thought, she does work for the FBI. "Um, look Samantha, I didn't go visit my sick mother, in fact my mother is fine. I just had to get away. I'm actually in Mexico right now."

"What! You're in Mexico? But, but why did you have to get away?" As Samantha spoke the words it dawned on her that he left the morning after she turned him down. She kicked herself for being blind to his pain and marveled at how he put that behind him and unselfishly listened to her problems. "Wait, don't answer that," she voiced. "Mexico, huh, how does it feel to get away?"

Martin was puzzled by the question and didn't know how to respond so he answered tentatively, "It has its ups and downs." Then an idea popped into his head, "Hey, you should come and join me. Your deposition can't be for at least a month, you'd still have plenty of time to prepare. Besides one of the downs of vacationing alone is that, well, you're alone."

Samantha heard the hopefulness in Martin's voice, but, considering the reason he was on vacation, she didn't think it would a great idea to join him. "Martin, I don't know." To herself she thought, "A vacation does sound appealing right now. Then I wouldn't have to face Jack tomorrow." She came to her senses and spoke out loud again, "They are not going to let both of us be on extended vacation at the same time, the team is practically decimated without you, but missing two of us?"

Martin's mind raced on overtime to come up with reasons that she would be granted leave, "I'm sure that Jack wouldn't turn down any of your requests right now."

He heard Samantha laugh and she added, "Yeah, and after today's display at the office they might make me take some time off. Okay, I'll take a vacation, but Martin I don't think it would be best to join you. Not now."

Martin's heart plummeted, he'd gotten more excited about Samantha meeting him than he'd realized and her statement was like her rejecting him again. He didn't intend to let her drop him like that again without a fight. "Samantha, let me tell you, vacationing alone is not very much fun. You do these exciting things, but there is no one to share it with. Plus, you'd be amazed at how many single women have hit on me, the other night, I had dinner with three women and all they did was paw at me all night. You don't want to go through that."

Samantha gave into Martin's pleas and decided to join him in Mexico. She smiled to herself and realized that this would be her first real vacation since joining the FBI.

* * *

In his office, Jack was reliving Samantha's outburst. He couldn't quite put his finger on why she was so upset. Yes, he understood that their past relationship would become public and that it would make it harder for them to pursue a relationship now, but her vehemence was much greater than could be conjured for his omission to tell her about the divorce proceedings. He thought back and went through the details again—she was at her desk and received a subpoena, she learned that she'd have to testify ... Finally, it dawned on Jack. He opened a drawer in the filing cabinet and pulled out a copy of Samantha's personnel file. After flipping through a few pages he stared at the old newspaper clipping. A young girl was shown in the picture sitting on the witness stand, despite the years that had passed, Jack still recognized the pensive look on Samantha's face that she carries with her today. The caption beneath the photo filled in the details that he had forgotten, which explained Samantha's blow up. Jack forced himself to sit down and re-read the details of the article and cursed himself for not remembering this part of Samantha's past.

The caption read, "Samantha Spade testifying at her father's trial."

TBC


	26. Distractions

Chapter 26 – Distractions  
_Tuesday, June 15, 2004_

As it turned out, Samantha had no difficulty in getting a week's vacation, in fact, Van Doren suggested that she take two. Samantha almost laughed as she pictured how the story of her blow-up with Jack had most likely spread throughout the division. She quickly put that thought out of her head though and prepared for her trip to Mexico.

Martin met her at the airport and surprised her with a big bear hug. Apparently he's been lonely, Samantha thought. He had booked her into the same hotel as him and helped her take her bags to her room. "I propose that we get started with the fun right away," Martin said. "Change into your sexiest bikini and we'll go see the beach and let all of the men know that you have arrived."

Samantha agreed to Martin's request, but added, "Well, I guess that means that you're going to put on your skimpiest Speedo then, huh?" She smiled in laughter and watched as Martin's face turned red. He turned to go to his own room, but Samantha reached out to his arm to stop him. Somber now, she spoke, "Martin, I ... thank you, I really need to forget, um, get away from everything in New York and you help me do that."

Martin placed his hand on Samantha's and silently nodded in acknowledgement to Samantha's thanks. "I'll meet you in the lobby in a few." He turned away from her face and vowed to provide many distractions for Samantha so she could "forget and get away" even if it was only for a week.­­­­­­­­­­­­

* * *

Samantha reached the lobby first and took the opportunity to look around. She was in the back courtyard when Martin saw her. He stopped still in his tracks and marveled at how beautiful she looked in her two piece swimsuit with a see-through cover-up. There was a slight breeze that blew her hair and the sun highlighted her blonde locks. He willed himself to move and greeted her outside.

Without even a hello, she pointed, "We have to play, I love beach volleyball and I haven't played in years." Martin saw the smile on her face and couldn't resist.

"I don't know if you want to play with me," Martin warned.

"Oh, if you don't know how I can teach you."

"No, I just know that you don't like to lose and I'm a spectacular athlete." Martin boasted. He had picked up the ball and was tossing it in the air while he grinned.

Samantha reached for the ball and said, "I accept your challenge."

They played for awhile and as they were about to call it quits another couple approached and asked if they like to play a match. Samantha shrugged and looked at Martin. He thought that it would be fun to work together with Samantha on the court and agreed. An hour later, after playing valiantly and working well as a team, they left the court.

"Water, I need water," Samantha whined at Martin with a glint in her eye. Martin left in search of water for the two of them. When he returned, Samantha intoned, "Air conditioning, I need air conditioning." Laughing the two returned to the cool air of the lobby.

"Hey I had a great idea for dinner tonight," Martin proposed, "but it's a little fancy. I don't know if you brought anything to wear."

Samantha looked at the clock on the wall and was surprised at how late it had gotten. "Fancy sounds nice, I think I have just the outfit, but I have to shower off this sand. How about I meet you back here in an hour."

"It's a plan," Martin agreed as they both moved toward their rooms.

* * *

At her room, Samantha realized that she hadn't thought about Jack or New York all afternoon. She silently thanked Martin for that and began preparing for the evening.

This time Martin was first to the lobby and eagerly watched for Samantha's descent down the formal staircase in the foyer. He was not disappointed. Samantha appeared at the head of the stairs in a simple, silver evening gown, her hair was pulled back with tendrils on either side framing her face. However, the frown evident on her face worried Martin.

Despite her mood, she fairly glided down the staircase toward Martin. He offered his arm as her escort and she took it, even smiled at Martin's gesture. Then he asked, "What happened?"

She raised her free arm and showed him her cell phone, "This happened. Jack called."

"Oh," Martin responded. "Did he have anything good to say?"

"I don't know. I never answered the phone."

"So, the frown is preemptory then, huh?" Martin stated.

"Well, not exactly. Jack called nine times in four hours, borderline obsessive I'd say," Samantha revealed.

Martin showed the shock on his face. "Did he leave messages? What did he have to say for himself?"

Samantha looked away from Martin, "I don't know, I, I couldn't listen to them. I don't want to hear his voice and listen to his excuses."

As if on cue the phone rang. Samantha glanced down and let out a groan, "It's him again. He is driving me crazy."

Martin reached for the phone and took it out of her hand. He didn't even glance at the screen as he pushed the off button. He slipped the phone into his pocket and guided Samantha toward the door. "There now we won't be bothered."

Dinner resulted in no further incidents and both seemed to enjoy themselves. After Samantha was in her room for the night, she realized that she hadn't thought about Jack during the whole of the meal. She was impressed with how deftly Martin had steered the conversation so that his name was never mentioned.

Martin returned to his room after walking Samantha to hers, he loosened his tie and slid his hand into his pocket. He pulled out the phone and stared at its blank screen. He flipped it on and waited for it to show how many missed calls there had been. To his surprise there were none. He set it down on the dresser and hoped that Jack knew Samantha was with him; that she had run away from Jack straight to Martin. He wondered what Jack would do if Martin answered the phone the next time he called.

TBC


	27. I'm On Vacation

_(A/N: Okay, I realize that Samantha is a bit out of character here, but I couldn't resist. Also, you M/S fans have waited long enough for some interesting tid-bits between the two.)

* * *

_Chapter 27 – "I'm On Vacation"  
_Wednesday, June 16, 2004_

At breakfast the next morning, Martin pushed Samantha's phone across the table toward her. "You'll be happy to know that Jack hasn't called again since yesterday." Samantha relaxed and let the tension dissipate from her shoulders.

She reached for the phone and glanced at it, then she turned it off and with a defiant smile said, "I'm on vacation!"

The next few days were spent concentrating on forgetting and for the most part they looked like two care-few individuals enjoying some time off. On Friday morning, they had exhausted visiting most of the tourist traps and Samantha reminded Martin of a sign they had seen for a beach off the beaten track. They decided to go explore the unknown.

From the road the beach appeared deserted, but as they reached the parking lot they were surprised by the number of cars. They gathered their towels and headed down a long walkway.

Martin saw her first, a woman walking near the ocean either in the skimpiest bathing suit ever or in the nude. Martin's jaw dropped as he stared mesmerized by the naked woman. Samantha followed his gaze and then scanned the entire area. She saw men and women in varying degrees of nudity frolicking on the beach. She turned back toward Martin, but he had not broken his gaze from the woman. "Samantha, do you see that, um, I mean her?" he said pointing. Finally, he blinked and turned toward Samantha. "She's naked," he said in a whisper.

Samantha couldn't help but laugh, she was amazed by Martin's reaction, but then realized that the prim and proper, clean cut boy had probably never been to, or even thought about, going to a nude beach. She nodded at Martin and pointed to the rest of the crowd, "And so are they."

Slowly Martin looked over the entire place in awe. A couple brushed past them on the walkway where they had stopped dead in their tracks. "They're naked too!" Martin exclaimed. But before he could make a move to return to the car Samantha acted. She decided to astonish him even further. She reached one hand behind her back and undid the clasp on her swimsuit. She let the material fall down her body and hit the ground. Purposefully she reached down to pick up the things she had dropped and walked toward the beach. She used all of her will power to prevent herself from looking at Martin, but she could picture the astounded look on his face. She started walking toward the beach and casually glanced over her shoulder, "Are you coming?"

Dumbfounded, Martin followed Samantha, although a few paces behind her. He didn't trust himself to keep his eyes forward if he walked beside her. "Samantha, do you think, well, um, maybe we should leave."

Samantha continued to laugh at his nervous attitude toward the nude beach and wasn't about to let him off the hook. "Oh, come on Martin, you don't have to get naked, it'll be fun. And I'm on vacation."

Finally, Martin caught up to Samantha and glance toward her, he was immediately aroused by her body and realized that there was no way that he could get naked right now. As they arranged their towels, Martin saw that nobody was paying any attention to them so he looked around. He saw that there were several men still wearing their swimming trunks and most of the women weren't fully nude either. He allowed himself to relax upon these findings, but still avoided looking at Samantha.

Samantha hadn't finished playing with Martin though and reached for the suntan lotion. She dangled the bottle in front of Martin's face, "Would you mind? I don't want to burn." She burst out laughing at the sight of Martin's face. His jaw dropped, his face turned red, and he was speechless as he turned to face her and his eyes moved from the suntan lotion bottle to her bare breasts.

As he was reaching for the bottle, she suppressed her laughter and let him off the hook. "Relax Martin, I'm just kidding. OK, I'll go for a swim and then we can leave and go anywhere you choose."

Martin laid down on the beach and watched Samantha run off into the water. He chastised himself for acting like such a schoolboy and decided that since he was here he may as well join Samantha for a swim. He quickly caught up to her in the water and they swam out until neither could touch the bottom. The water was deliciously warm and inviting. Before he knew what was happening, Samantha had closed the gap between them and planted her lips on his. He tasted the salty sweetness of her and returned her kiss. She broke away and then held up the bottoms of her swimsuit above her head. Martin's eyes grew wide, but he quickly followed suit and moved closer to Samantha. He resumed the kiss and felt her body next to his. The water lapped upon their faces in time with the waves.

But the water Martin felt upon his back was not warm and inviting, it was cold and abrasive in the heat. Instinctively, he reached out an arm and latched onto the ankle next to him and wiped the foot out from under his attacker. As Samantha landed on the ground next to him she cried out in surprise. "Easy Rambo," Samantha said, "I was just having fun." Martin shook his head and realized that he must have fallen asleep.

Martin looked at Samantha, she had put her top back on, but her hair was still glistening from the water. He started to reach for her face, to pull her near him and give her a tender kiss, but stopped himself as he realized that the kisses had all been a part of his dream, not reality. "Sorry," Martin apologized. "You have to be careful when waking up a trained FBI agent," Martin warned, trying to sound playful. Samantha laughed, stood up, and helped him to his feet, they gathered their items and headed back to the car.

During the ride back to the hotel, Samantha realized that her actions may have been perceived by Martin as encouragement for him to continue pursuing her, which was not what she had intended. She decided that she had to preempt any attempt by Martin to move their relationship to a romantic level. Without looking at him she started, "Martin, I guess I acted inappropriately today. I've been having such fun with you as a friend that I forgot all about, well, you know. I'm sorry if it appeared that I was leadin you on to, um, to ask me out again."

Martin was grateful that he was driving and didn't have to look at her as she said her words. He had taken some hope in her actions, but as rudely as the water had awakened him to reality so had this speech. He was determined not to let her see that his hope had been dashed, he looked at her and said, "Samantha, don't be sorry for the way you acted today. I'm glad that you forgot about my past overtures, I want to be friends with you. And, by your actions, I know that we are because you don't show this spontaneous side very often, but you let me see it. Thank you."

Martin concentrated on the road again and thought, "And I will always be able to carry the memory of you practically naked right next to me."

TBC


	28. I Love You

Chapter 28 – "I Love You"  
_Friday Night, June 18, 2004_

That night at dinner in the hotel restaurant, Samantha suddenly blurted out, "What if he's calling about the deposition. You know, Jack, all of his phone calls. Maybe he got the deposition quashed." Her eyes held a hopefulness for a few seconds while she spoke. Quickly she found her phone and pushed the button to retrieve her messages. She began entering her access code, but stopped, "I can't, I can't bear to hear his voice right now." She extended the phone to Martin, "Would you?"

Martin saw the pain evidenced in Samantha's face and put the phone up to his ear. The voice noted that she had five messages. Then he heard Jack's voice, "Sam call me... Please." Nothing too grand and exciting there, he pushed the save button, in case Samantha wanted to listen later. The next message began and it was Jack again, "Sam, I, um, I guess you're out. Give me a call when you get this." A few buttons later and Jack's voice could be heard again, "Look Sam, you're going to have to talk to me sometime. You can't just ignore me forever. Call me." Martin was amazed at Jack's assertiveness, he was accusing her of ignoring him forever when in fact less than one hour had elapsed between his first and third messages. Next Jack revealed to Samantha that he missed her, which Martin thought was a bit strange, but quickly moved to the next message. The last call, though, hit Martin hard as he listened to Jack's voice, "Okay Sam I didn't want to say these things to you on a message, but you're giving me little choice. Sam, I admit, I messed up. I should have told you about the deposition as soon as I knew about it, but when you invited me to dinner on Monday I was so excited and didn't want to ruin the night. Then, spending so much time with you all week, it felt like we'd stepped right back into our old relationship. I can still smell your perfume on my jacket and taste your lips on mine." As Martin listened he tried to keep his face impassive, but he made eye contact with Samantha trying to see within her all that she had kept hidden from him. Jack's message continued, "Sam, I don't know what I can do to make things right, but I can't let it end. I love you, Sam. I love you more than anything and I know that you love me." The message ended and a voice prompted him to erase or save and as easy as it would be for him to erase the message, erase the evidence of her lies, he knew that the pain would remain in his heart. He pressed the button to save the message and then laid the phone on the table between them.

Martin still had not outwardly reacted to Jack's words, but he rose from the table and spoke, "Nope, no details about the deposition. Uh, I'm going to stick to the hotel tomorrow so feel free to go sightseeing without me." Then, without even saying 'good-night', he headed up to the stairs to his room.

Samantha was confused by Martin's words and actions and reached for the phone. She forgot all about the trepidations she held just minutes before as she retrieved her messages. Finally, she heard Jack's words and Samantha realized what Martin must be feeling. She had consciously kept her new relationship with Jack a secret from Martin because it was over and shouldn't affect them, but now it looked like she kept it from him and that it was possibly still ongoing. She raced up the stairs with the intention of apologizing and explaining to Martin, but she knew that he would not want to see her. She decided to give him some time and space and retreated to her room alone.

* * *

Martin paced the floor of his own room. He couldn't believe that as soon as he was out of the picture she had begun dating Jack again. He questioned everything that she had told him about her feelings for Jack and then started thinking that she had probably lied to him about other issues as well. He stopped in front of the mini-bar in the room and for the first time in his life he opened one of the little containers of vodka and downed it in two gulps. The liquor burned as it coarsed down his throat, but at least it distracted him from the pain Samantha had caused him. He looked around the room and felt the walls closing in on him, he raced from the room and into the street. It didn't take long before he found a nearby bar and he settled himself in—prepared to stay for a long while.

* * *

Samantha was pacing in her room as well. She had tried to sit down and will herself to put Martin out of her mind, but to no avail. Finally, after an hour of torture she made up her mind to go to Martin's room. At his door she started pounding, calling out his name. She got no answer and cursed herself for lying to him. She pounded again and pleaded with Martin to open up. The door of the room next to Martin's opened and a small man stuck his head out intending to be very cross with the person intruding on his sleep. However, he caught one look at the beautiful woman in the elegant dress and soften some, "Lady, could you keep it down people are trying to sleep." 

But Samantha was in no mood to apologize to the man and only pounded on the door again, yelling to Martin, "I'm not leaving until you talk to me."

"You'd be here all night lady, the guy left so please so the same and let me get back to sleep," the man was now pleading with Samantha.

Samantha turned her attention to the little man, "When did he leave?"

"What am I, his mother? I don't know when he left, I just know he ain't there." With that he slammed his door. Samantha believed the man and headed toward the exit of the hotel. She turned right and headed toward the heart of the town.

* * *

Martin was consuming drinks as fast as the bartender was making them for him, which doesn't take long when your drinking scotch on the rocks with a beer chaser. He began to wonder why the bartender had two heads and he got up from his seat to hit the bathroom. On his way he glanced out of the bar door and saw a group of prostitutes lined up along the street. He forgot about the bathroom and headed for the door. He approached the first woman he saw and in slurred language asked her how much she cost. The woman eyed him leerily, she didn't want to get thrown up on, that wasn't part of the deal, but she needed the business and propositioned him anyway. Martin barely heard the woman and asked her if she had a blonde wig that she could wear during the 'encounter.' The woman reassessed her client and didn't intervene when another woman approached the guy from behind.

The woman called the man by name and he turned around, but obviously did not recognize the woman standing before him. The prostitute made a silent escape.

Samantha looked at Martin, drunk and at a low in his life. She quickly realized that Martin did not know who she was and she used that to her advantage after eyeing the other women on the street. "Hey, big boy, did I hear that you wanted a blonde?"

"Yeah, you'll do great, you look just like her."

Samantha took Martin's arm and steered him back toward the hotel, "Let's go back to your room, hot stuff." Martin followed unquestioningly.

Samantha had no trouble getting Martin to his room, but once there he immediately undressed down to his boxers. She could see that he was aroused and she was surprised considering the amount of alcohol he must have consumed. He tried to pull her down onto the bed and she wondered how she was going to get out of the situation. She pulled away and offered him another drink to distract him, which he took eagerly. Within minutes of slurping it down, Martin was passed out on the bed and Samantha sank into a chair in relief.

Samantha felt responsible for driving Martin to his intoxicated state so she stayed with him during the night, to make sure nothing happened to him. She settled herself into the chair and tried to get to sleep.

After a few hours of shifting positions in the chair, Samantha realized that she was never going to get a decent night's sleep in it. She glanced over at Martin and saw that he hadn't moved an inch. She eyed the half of the bed that Martin was not occupying and fleetingly thought how comfortable it would be. She reasoned to herself that Martin was out cold and would never know that she was sleeping next to him. She also told herself that she would be awake long before he was and therefore he'd never know that she slept there. Satisfied with her justification of the situation she climbed into bed next to Martin and quickly fell into a deep sleep.

TBC


	29. Truth and Lies

Chapter 29 – Truth and Lies  
_Saturday, June 19, 2004_

Blearily, Martin opened his eyes, even the tiny shaft of light that found its way into the room at the edges of the drapes caused him pain. His head was pounding and a wave of nausea swept over him. He rolled himself off the side of the bed and sat on its edge deciding whether or not his legs would hold him. He scanned the room, trying to recollect last night. His eyes panned the bed next to him and noticed the locks of blonde hair on the pillow above the lump in the covers. Instantly he remembered propositioning a prostitute, the headache and nausea were but fleeting memories. He blurted out in the direction of the woman, "Aren't you people supposed to leave after you're finished?"

Samantha heard Martin's voice and immediately she realized that she'd slept much longer than she'd anticipated and would now have to explain the situation to Martin. Slowly she processed his words and comprehended that Martin thought that she was the prostitute that he had hired last night. She giggled to herself, then rolled over to let Martin see that it was her in his bed and not some hardened woman from the street.

Martin had stood up and moved away from the bed, grateful that he still had his boxers on. The woman began to move and rolled over to face him. Martin was still backing up when he saw Samantha's face on the woman's body that had lain next to him all night. He stumbled when he backed into the chair and fell down. He heard Samantha laughing at him. Martin allowed himself to sit on the floor for a few minutes to collect himself. He berated himself for getting so drunk—drunk enough that he obviously didn't remember having sex with Samantha.

Samantha watched as Martin fell over in astonishment. She got up from the bed and approached him while he was still seated on the floor. She reached out a hand to help him up and he took it.

Martin grabbed Samantha's hand, but could not look her in the eyes. He was too embarrassed about not remembering that they'd been together, but he noted that she was fully clothed in the dress she'd worn the night before. He stood, too close to her, not knowing what he should do—hug her, kiss her? In his confusion, he blurted out, "Did we ...? Because, honestly, and I'm sorry, but I really don't remember." His face had turned bright red and try as he might he couldn't look her in the eyes.

"You don't remember last night?" Samantha asked.

"No, I'm sorry," he mumbled. "I couldn't have been at my best, you'll have to give me another chance."

Samantha suppressed a giggle and put Martin at ease, "No, Martin we didn't have sex." She guided him over to the bed and made him sit down. Then, she began refreshing his memory. "After you, um," it was her turn to be embarrassed, "listened to Jack's messages, I followed you, but knew you wouldn't want to see me so I stayed in my room for a while. Then I went looking for you, but you'd left, so I walked toward town to find you. It didn't take long, you were on the street, very drunk, and, um, you were, um, ..."

"Hiring a hooker," Martin supplied the words she didn't know how to say. "Yes, I remember that, but then I turned and there was this blonde hooker there and I chose her."

Samantha listened to his recitation of the events and prompted, "And do you remember anything about the blonde, like what she looked like, or what she was wearing?"

Martin eyed Samantha curiously, but bit the bullet and answered, "Yeah, okay, she looked like you. No matter how hard I try I can't get you out of my mind, so I thought that I'd try the next best thing, since you are so obviously unavailable." Martin felt good, it felt good to get his feelings out in the open so he continued, "Why couldn't you just tell me that you and Jack were back together? Why did you have to lie to me, we were getting along really well and now I don't know how much of that was pretend too."

Samantha was hurt by Martin's allegations that's she'd been lying all week so she played her cards too. "Oh, like how you've been so honest with me. I don't think I recall seeing your mother around. She's really going to wonder why I sent her flowers since she's not even sick," Samantha spat at him.

Martin's face turned into a grin, "You sent my mom flowers?"

"Yes, with a nice little 'Get Well' card. Maybe you could explain to her that you used her in a little ruse rather than let her continue to think that I'm a crazy lunatic."

Martin brought the argument back to its focus, "You know why I lied about that Sam, I couldn't be there, ... I couldn't see you ..."

"And I didn't want to see the hurt look in your eyes when I told you that Jack and I had started dating again." Samantha paused, "Besides it doesn't matter, Jack and I are through ... for good." Then, for some reason she didn't quite understand she added, "We never ... you know. I guess I knew it just wasn't right to be back together with him."

Martin mulled over her words some, then spoke, "So you came down here for this vacation to get away from Jack, not because of the deposition. You just didn't want to face Jack knowing that you were really ending it with him. I thought that you were stronger than that Sam, I thought you were the type of person who faced her problems head on."

Samantha heard the disappointment in his voice and the sincerity with which he believed in her strength. She knew at that moment that she had to let him know, let him know everything about her decision to get away from New York. "No, Martin. Breaking up with Jack was not the main reason I couldn't face him, it was the deposition, only it's so much more than testifying for Jack's divorce. So much more ..." She motioned for Martin to sit on the bed, then she pulled the chair up next to it and sat down. She faced Martin and took his hands into hers and began to tell him the whole story.

TBC


	30. Samantha's Past Uncovered

Chapter 30 – Samantha's Past Uncovered  
_Saturday, June 19, 2004_

Samantha took a deep breath and looked into Martin's eyes trying to draw strength from him, knowing that he believed in her. She was trembling slightly at the thought of telling the story to Martin, a story which she had never voluntarily told anyone.

Martin was confused and braced himself for the worst, believing that Samantha was going to tell him that she and Jack were more deeply involved than he'd ever imagined and that she never wanted to see him again. Suddenly his headache was back and he felt sick to his stomach, but he looked into Samantha's eyes and knew that he had to stay put and listen to what she was about to tell him.

"When I got the subpoena," Samantha began, "first, I was worried about having to reveal the intimate and personal details of Jack and my's past relationship. Nobody wants to relive a failed relationship, much less to the woman who beat you. No matter how much I hate him right now I can't deny that I did love him and I can't change that I was his mistress. Oh, that sounds so horrible and that is how it's going to sound at the deposition. Her lawyer is going to be able to make me out to be a wicked person out to destroy a marriage, but that was never my intention. I know that I don't have the moral high ground in this situation, but I don't think that I'm a bad person. I can't let myself think that." Samantha paused to refocus her thoughts.

Martin waited, wondering if he should reassure her that she was a good person, but that she just got herself into a bad situation. However, he decided not to interrupt, believing that the hardest part of her confession was yet to come.

She started again, "So, that was my first thought, to be irritated with Jack because he got me into a situation where I was going to have to talk about very private feelings in front of strangers. But also there was the anger I felt because Jack and I had gotten involved again." When she admitted this renewed relationship, she couldn't look at Martin, she was confessing that she had lied to him and still felt very guilty about it. "I was concerned that our current relationship would be a subject brought up during the deposition. I mean how could Maria be confident that we had ended it like Jack said? And we still worked together daily, I wouldn't blame her for thinking something may still be ongoing. So I was upset that the timing was so bad, if I'd have known about the deposition I would definitely not have resumed dating Jack. There would have been too much at stake to have started up that relationship again, I know I wouldn't have." Samantha repeated this, mostly to herself, as if trying to convince herself of how she would have acted if she'd have known all of the facts.

"However, the timing wasn't a problem for Jack, he obviously didn't think it was a problem to start dating me with a deposition looming, because it turns out that he'd known that I was going to be called to testify before I ever asked him to dinner that first night." She was agitated, her voice loud, "When he told me that he'd know since then I was furious, I couldn't understand what could have been going on in his head. I mean, how stupid do you have to be. Everything I've worked for, I mean, I am exactly where I want to be, I worked for too long to get to this unit and then in one week all of that could be taken from me. But Jack doesn't realize that, he's the supervisor, he's not going to get transferred. He's the golden child of that unit, with his success rate they wouldn't dare touch him." Again it appeared to Martin that Samantha was speaking to herself and her voice was almost a whisper, "Maybe that's why his marriage didn't work, he didn't think about anyone but himself. Why didn't I see it sooner?"

She brought herself back to the present and remembered that she was trying to tell Martin all of her reasons. "So, yes, I was and am still infuriated with Jack and I wanted to get away from him and his voice and even the memory of him, but I didn't solely run away from him. The subpoena reminded me of something from my past, something I've buried deep and haven't talked about to anyone, ever. Not even Jack."

Throughout her confession, Samantha had shown emotion, but had remained very still and strong. However, before she even opened her mouth to continue, Martin saw a tear slide down her face as she struggled to force the words out. He let go of her hand and reached up to her face. Tenderly he wiped the tear from her cheek and his hand rested on her face. Samantha raised her hand and covered up Martin's. She held it there for a long moment before she pulled it away and willed herself to keep going.

"Sitting at my desk, when that man handed me the envelope, I knew what was in it before I opened it. When he didn't say anything, not even 'good-bye' I knew that I was right. I don't know what it was, but I had this feeling of déjà vu." Involuntarily, a shiver ran down Samantha's spine just thinking about the moment. "I've gotten a subpoena before, just once, but it was the same. I was fourteen, sitting in class at school and this man came into the room. He asked my teacher where I was sitting and then he handed me a piece of paper. Without saying a word he turned and walked out of the room." Samantha glanced at Martin, a puzzled look covered his face, so she continued in explanation. "That piece of paper was also a subpoena, I was being called to testify. I was caught as off guard then as I was last week."

Martin couldn't silence himself any longer, he was confused and spoke without thinking, "Testify? What could you have testified to at that age?"

"Well, I read the subpoena and it didn't tell me much, but enough for me to get an idea. I was being called to testify in the case of the _State of Wisconsin v. Spade_." Before Martin could get the wrong idea about who the defendant was she clarified, "The State was charging Richard Spade, my father, not me."

Martin visibly relaxed, "So you were going to be like a character witness for you father, well that's not too bad."

But Samantha was shaking her head, "No, Martin, I was being called by the State to be a witness _against_ my father." Samantha saw the startled look on Martin's face and was glad that he was as outraged now as she had been at the time. "You see, my father was being charged with murder and I had seen him that night. He had come into the house pretty late, and I'm sure he thought that I was sleeping, but I was a teenager, I had snuck in late and was surprised that my father wasn't home yet. I came down the stairs when I heard the front door open. I saw him wearing a bloody white t-shirt and carrying a knife. He yelled at me to go back to bed and I raced up the stairs. I had never seen him so mad at me so I didn't make another sound all night, but I couldn't sleep. The front door opened several more times that night and I knew there were lots of people in the house, but I couldn't hear anything they were talking about.

"When the police came, I didn't lie, but I didn't have a whole lot to tell them either. I didn't know where my dad had been and I didn't know who came to the house, but I guess they thought that my information was worthy for use in court. I talked to my dad's lawyers and they agreed that'd I'd have to testify. I was fourteen, I didn't know what to do so I listened to the lawyers, I testified."

As Samantha paused, Martin spoke, "Sam, I'm so sorry, I didn't know your father was in prison and that you had to help put him there. I can't believe that the court made you testify against your dad."

Again, Samantha was shaking her head, "My dad didn't go to jail, he was acquitted. Turns out that I was the star witness, the crux of the prosecution's case. The State even tried to convince the jury that I, because I testified against my dad, believed in his guilt. To this day, I have no idea what happened that night."

"Your dad has never explained it to you?" Martin asked.

"My dad has never spoken to me since the trial. In fact, the last time I saw him was when I was sitting on the witness stand, a fourteen-year-old just trying to do what everyone was asking me to do. I guess my father has never forgiven me for not refusing to testify. But, god damn it, I didn't know I was the star witness, I didn't know what happened that night."

Martin couldn't believe his next statement, couldn't believe that he was coming to Jack's defense, "From Jack's point of view, though, he didn't know about your past. He didn't know what memories having to testify would bring up."

"It's nice of you to try to make excuses for him, but he knew. I've never told him directly, but it's in my personnel file and I know he's seen it. The FBI doesn't miss much in their background checks, but to their credit they've never asked me about it and Jack didn't either. It shouldn't surprise me that Jack didn't remember, probably still hasn't made the connection, but it doesn't make the hurt any less real. And I will hold it against him, at least for now."

Martin could see the pain coursing throughout her body. He could imagine all of the years she'd spent hiding her anger and frustration. He reached out to her and pulled her into his arms. Sitting, enveloped by Martin's body, Samantha found the strength to let go.

Martin held her and rocked her gently until her tears subsided. Samantha raised her head from his chest, she looked at Martin and let out a half-laugh while shaking her head. "Martin, I'm sorry, I can't believe that I've told you all of this. You must be so tired of listening to me go on and on."

Martin smiled at her and in response he said, "I'm still waiting to hear about what happened to that stunning blonde prostitute I hired and how you and I ended up in bed together."

Samantha laughed out loud and knew that everything was going to be okay, somehow, and someway. Just knowing that she had Martin on her side made her able to face the future.

TBC


	31. Swapping Stories

Chapter 31 – Swapping Stories  
_Saturday, June 19, 2004_

Samantha finished bringing Martin up-to-date regarding his drunken night and, once they'd both stopped laughing, he realized that he still had a headache and was still nauseous. He excused himself and went into the bathroom. Samantha heard a myriad of sounds coming from behind the closed door, then the shower started. She decided to go to her own room to shower and change.

Martin emerged from the bathroom and was glad to see that Samantha had left to get ready for the day. He got to her room and knocked on the door. She opened it, still dressed in a towel, but allowed him to come in. "You look better," she stated.

Martin responded, "Ah, the power of pain killers, but now I'm starved. Do you know how late it is?"

At lunch, Martin wanted to get Samantha to open up about her father. He didn't know much about her past and didn't think that Vivian or Danny did either. He knew that she needed to let someone in before she self-destructed on herself. He thought about the dwindling days they had left before they both returned to work and hoped it would be enough to prepare Samantha for the long road ahead. He prompted, "Tell me about your dad."

"Oh, Martin, I don't really want to talk about the trial," Samantha responded.

"Then don't talk about the trial, tell me a good memory you have of him." Martin was not going to give up that easily.

"Oh, I don't know, it was a long time ago."

"Quit your whining. If you tell me a story I'll tell you something about my dad." Martin hoped that a bargain would get her talking.

"Okay, but I get to ask you a question about your dad, you don't just get to pick something to tell me. Knowing you, you'd probably tell me his middle name." Samantha answered, before she realized that she was giving in.

"Fair enough," Martin agreed. "Tell me a good memory."

Samantha was silent for a moment and Martin thought that she might be reconsidering her assent to the agreement. But in fact Samantha was trying to recall a suitable memory to talk about. Finally, she began, "We were living in Florida at the time, we moved around a lot, I didn't know it then, but it was probably because he got in trouble a lot, but I was just a kid, I didn't know why we kept moving. I thought that's what everybody did. Anyway, we were in Florida and dad promised to take us to Disney World. We were so excited to ride the new Big Thunder Mountain Railroad, oh my, I'm getting old if that was new when I was kid. But my dad came home and said that he'd been laid off of his job so he didn't have the money to take us. You should have seen us, my sister and I, just bawling our heads off. He tried everything to get us to cheer up, he offered us ice cream, he promised we'd go next year. I know he thought of more things, but we weren't even listening to him, we didn't notice when he left the room."

Martin interrupted, "Sam, this was supposed to be a happy memory."

"I'm getting to the happy part, Marty," she intoned, using his nickname too. "Well, you remember how kids are, we forgot exactly why we were crying and starting playing. I must have been at least two hours later when dad came in from outside, he called to us to follow him back out. We were reluctant, but like I said, we'd kind of forgotten why we were sad. Outside, he had set up a whole Disney World in our backyard. It was amazing. He must have set up every toy we had ever accumulated. The slip-n-slide was out and placed right underneath the regular slide so you'd have some good speed going into the sprinklers. He had tried to rig the swing set so that you'd jump out at the highest point right onto the neighbor's trampoline, but we were both too scared to try that one."

As she spoke, her eyes lit up in remembrance of the day, but quickly a haze covered the sparkle. Her voice was no longer animated and was nearly a whisper, "He could be great, when he was around. And I worshipped him. When I was sitting on the witness stand, directly across from him, he looked at me, but the love he had always had in his eyes was gone. All I saw was stony blackness and I knew then that he would never forgive me."

She paused, but Martin didn't speak, he sensed that she had more to say. After a brief moment she continued, "I've thought back over my childhood, with an adult, FBI agent's perspective, and I can see that my father was not the most upstanding citizen. I really was sheltered from most of it, but I remember snatches of telephone conversations, late night meetings held in the garage, or long periods when he was gone. I don't know if he killed that man, but no other suspect was ever arrested, much less convicted for the murder, so it puts doubts in your head. Anyway, that all happened when we were in Wisconsin so I spent the rest of my childhood there and that's where I tell people I'm from, it's a lot easier than the whole story." She laughed at herself, but then added, "I guess he's the one missing person in my life that I've never looked for."

Martin reached over and placed his hand on hers in an unspoken show of support. Both were silent for a time, until Martin spoke, "Let's go out and take a walk on the beach."

Samantha sighed and agreed. She needed to breathe some fresh air to help clear away her memories. "That sounds good, but only if you can talk and walk at the same time. I haven't forgotten that I get to ask you a question about your dad now." Samantha was eager to put Martin on the hot seat and was relieved to have gotten through her own story.

As they walked, side-by-side, on the beach Samantha said, "Don't take offense, but here's my question. Has your dad always been such a prick?" Samantha actually took a step away from Martin in preparation for an angry response from him, but to her surprise Martin laughed.

Martin thought about where to start, "Unlike you, who worshipped her dad, I wouldn't have known who, or what, to worship. My father was never around, he got married and did the 'family' thing because it was expected. Any upright, productive person in society takes a wife and procreates to ensure the next generation has plenty of upright, productive persons. I think that was my father's creed." Martin had stopped and picked up several rocks. He began flinging them into the ocean as he spoke. "I had nannies, I had summer camp, I had boarding school, what I didn't have was a father. I'd watch movies and see dads taking their sons to baseball games and teaching them how to ride a bike, but to me that was all a fantasy land." As he remembered how angry he was at his father, he began throwing the stones harder and harder. "But he always had expectations—he wouldn't help me reach them, but, boy, if I didn't I was in for a grand lecture about letting the family down and letting him down.

"I remember when I told him I got accepted by the FBI, I thought that he would be proud that I followed in his footsteps. But I don't know if I've ever seen him more disappointed. I remember he said, 'Martin, why I thought you were going to be politician. Run for office.' You know what I did, I stood there and apologized to him. I apologized to him for not following in his dreams for me. He didn't care what I wanted for my own life, what I wanted for me. If I could do that conversation over again you can bet that I wouldn't apologize." He had stopped throwing and stood looking out at the ocean. He felt a hand on his arm and he focused his eyes on Samantha. She took his hand in hers and led him down the beach to continue their walk. The two walked in silence, neither having to say a word to the other, both lost in their own pasts.

* * *

At the end of the day, Martin thought back about what he had learned about Samantha and her family. He realized that she had never mentioned her mother, but Martin knew that those questions would have to wait for another day. About his own revelations, he was surprised that he had verbalized some of his feelings. It had felt so easy to talk to Samantha though and he knew he didn't want to keep everything inside of him any longer.

Samantha also reflected on the day. Contrary to what she had believed for so long, it was nice to know that someone knew a little bit of her history—knew that she wasn't 'Suzy Sunshine' and that her childhood hadn't always been rosy. She decided that it would be okay to open up that vault of her memory where she had stored so many remembrances, good and bad, over the years. She had been surprised by Martin's depiction of his father and now felt a bond between her and Martin. They shared a connection of failed family relationships that only each other knew about.

TBC


	32. Damage Control

* * *

Chapter 32 – Damage Control  
_Tuesday June 22, 2004_

After a few more relaxing days on the beach, Martin and Samantha both prepared to go back to the cold, grayness of New York. Martin had purposefully avoided mentioning the deposition for the rest of the vacation, he knew that she would get inundated with preparation for it as soon as she landed in New York. He wanted her to enjoy her last moments of 'freedom.' But that didn't mean that he hadn't been thinking about it, or more specifically thinking about how she could get out of it. Finally, on this last day of vacation during dinner he raised the subject.

"I'm sorry, Sam," Martin began.

"Sorry for what?" Samantha asked and as an afterthought added, "Marty."

He smiled, he couldn't recall when he'd started calling her 'Sam', but was pretty sure that she knew the first time he'd said it and how many times he'd said it since. He was smiling because, other than referring to him as 'Marty' once in a while, she hadn't corrected him. But he pulled himself back to the moment and answered, "I'm sorry that I haven't figured out a way to get you out of the deposition."

"Martin, it's not your duty to solve all of my problems. As the adage goes, I made my bed, now I have to lie in it." Samantha had thought a lot about the deposition too and had accepted the fact that she was going to answer all of the lawyers' questions openly and honestly. She knew that she'd face some ramifications at work, but it was out of her hands and stressing about it wouldn't help her.

But Martin hadn't finished, "Okay, so I didn't solve your problem, but I think that we can do some damage control." Martin saw the puzzled look on Samantha's face and continued, "We might not be able to get you out of testifying at the deposition, but if Jack settles the divorce without ever going to court and either calling you as a witness or using the transcript of the deposition then the transcript never becomes a public record. No one else would ever know about the details of your relationship or about your week of indiscretion with Jack. What do you think?"

Samantha pondered the idea, "I think you're brilliant, except that I already shot myself in the foot by screaming at Jack in his office for everyone to hear. I don't recall the moment very well, since I've been trying to block it out, but I'm pretty sure that I yelled about our past and present relationships."

Without skipping a beat, Martin spoke, "No problem. Anyone who brings it up is spouting hearsay and, anyway, I don't think that anyone will bring it up. We'll deal with that when and _if_ it happens." Samantha nodded in agreement. Martin came to the tricky part of his idea, "So now, you have to use Jack's guilt against him. For this to work, he has to settle the divorce. You are going to have to use his feelings about you to get him to settle, but at the same time you have to keep your relationship strictly professional."

Again, Samantha nodded, "I guess that means I'm going to have to talk to him, huh." She managed a feeble laugh at her own joke as her mind drifted to an imagined conversation with Jack. She got tense just thinking about the confrontation.

* * *

During the plane ride Samantha played out several possible scenarios in her head trying to forecast the conversation between her and Jack. When she dozed off part way through the trip she even dreamt about the conversation. In the dream, she didn't have to talk to Jack because he was happily married and living in Chicago where he couldn't cause Samantha any problems at all, but unfortunately she woke up. She reflected on the dream and knew that she didn't want Jack to move away, she figured that she would forgive him, eventually. She realized that she didn't have a whole lot of people in her life and she didn't really want to lose one now.

Martin noticed that Samantha was especially quiet during the plane ride and he decided to let her be alone with her thoughts. He felt secure that she would come to him when she was ready.

* * *

At the office Wednesday morning, Samantha steeled her nerves and after receiving a slight nod from Martin she approached Jack's office door. She knocked on the closed door, unable to see into the office because the blinds were drawn. She heard a grunt from inside and took it as an invitation to enter. She hadn't seen Jack come in that morning and she didn't know if he even knew that she was back at work, but she knew that she had to get this confrontation over with so she opened the door and walked into the lion's den.

He looked up from his desk and seemed surprised to see her. He too had played this conversation out in his head and was never satisfied with how the words sounded. "Samantha," he managed to greet her, his voice breaking from nervousness. "Please, close the door and have a seat."

Samantha was glad that Jack was uneasy, but wished that she were a bit more calm herself. "No, I think that I'll leave the door open. Don't want to give the office any fodder for the water cooler." She managed a small smile, relieved that one hurdle had been cleared. She took a seat across from Jack and tried to figure out where she was going to begin.

When Samantha refused to close the door, Jack's heart deflated. He knew that Samantha was going to draw a clear and very decisive line between him and her. He had been trying to convince himself that this would be the reality for a week, but a small part of him had held out hope that Samantha's feelings for him would allow her to forgive him.

Samantha saw the frown evident upon Jack's face and wondered what he was thinking about, but plunged into her speech before she figured it out. "Jack, I know that I was out of control last week, I'm not saying that it wasn't warranted, but it was unprofessional. I let my emotions control my actions instead of thinking the situation through."

Jack watched as she methodically stated each word, each carefully planned and practiced in the hopes of preventing another outburst. "I'm sorry, I'm sorry that I didn't tell you as soon as I found out. I'm sorry that," he lowered his voice, "we got involved again with this looming in front of us."

Samantha interrupted him, "'Sorry' is not enough now and it's not going to get you off the hook. 'Sorry' is just a word and I can't even trust you enough to know if you mean it." She wanted this to be quick and to the point, no sense in prolonging both of their agony. She was gathering the momentum to tell him to settle the divorce without going to court when Jack's words caused her to stop.

"Samantha, I know about your father. I've read your personnel file and know what you had to go through ..."

Samantha was appalled at Jack's arrogance and without thinking she spoke, "Know what I had to go through? How could you, how could you know what it was like for me? Did the file reveal that my father has not spoken to me since that day? That I miss him every morning when I wake up? That I wish that I could relive that day and refuse to testify? What do you know Jack, what do you know?" Without realizing it she had stood up and was leaning across the desk toward Jack, her voice had become a menacing volume.

Just then both Jack and Samantha jerked their heads up and toward the door, "Samantha, I need to talk to you, it's urgent." Martin had come to the rescue. He had been sitting at his desk alert to any possible problems coming from within the office mere feet from him. Although he couldn't make out what was being said he had noticed the volume of Samantha's voice raise and jumped from his desk to prevent another outburst that had helped Samantha get her first vacation of the month. As he spoke he entered the office and grabbed Samantha's arm, propelling her toward the door. He didn't let go until they were at the elevators. Thankfully one was open, as if waiting for them, and he entered with her and silently rode to the parking garage.

Once they were out in the open, without the attentive ears of co-workers, Samantha let out a loud and long groan. "The nerve of that man, thinking that he knows, that he knows what I've gone through. Where does he get off?"

Samantha heard the rational words from Martin, "Let it go, Samantha. You have to let it go. You can't let him affect you like that." He had steered her onto the sidewalk hoping that the fresh air would help calm her and clear her head. It seemed to do the trick. He stopped at a deli by the office and ducked inside. They talked over the situation during an early lunch, a very early lunch. He encouraged her to go back to the office and try again, stick to the plan—quick and to the point—, and get him to agree. She nodded, but Martin could see the hesitation on her face. "Hey, I'll be right there for you and I'll make sure you don't get too out of control. Just think of how good you'll feel when it's done." Martin smiled at her and he hoped that he looked upbeat.

Back at the office, Samantha again approached Jack's door. It was already open, but Jack had his back to her. She knocked softly and he turned around, a look of frustration showed plainly on his face. "Jack, um, I needed to calm down. Can we start over?"

Jack was discouraged by Samantha's outburst earlier and even more so by Martin's interruption. He could tell that Martin and Samantha had grown closer over the past week, that Martin had provided the support she needed—a role that Jack wished he had fulfilled. "Yeah, sure, let's start over. I didn't mean to imply that I understood ..."

She interrupted, "Jack, we're starting over, okay?" She sat down across from his desk and motioned for him to do the same. "I'm sorry that I let my emotions take over, again. The subpoena brought memories to the surface that I've had buried for so long. I'd forgotten how much it affected me."

"I wish that I had made the connection sooner Samantha. I wish that you could have clued me into it, you never let me in, but I see that you've finally let someone else in." Jack couldn't resist taking a stab at her, especially after how much she had put him on the defensive. However, he immediately felt guilty, knowing that he was the one in the wrong and added, "I'm sorry, I shouldn't have said that. I ..."

Samantha had been taken back when Jack verbally attacked her, although she knew that he was right. She'd never told him about her past even though she had loved him and tried to share her life with him. But when she saw that he felt bad for the statement she immediately continued with her script, "I've heard that word a lot today and like I said before, the word just isn't enough anymore."

Jack looked bewildered, "I don't know what else to do, I don't know what else I can say to show you how sorry I feel and how stupid I know that I was."

Hearing Jack ask for a suggestion, Samantha jumped in with one, "Well, I don't see how I can get out of testifying at the deposition, but I don't want it to ever, ever become a public record. It could kill my career and all that I've worked for, it would kill you career as well. The only solution depends solely on you, you have to settle your divorce out of court. I don't care what you have to promise Maria, but you cannot let this get any more out of hand that it already is." She let out a breath that she didn't know she'd been holding. She was done, she had said it, but now came the hard part, she had to convince him to agree with her proposal.

Jack stared at her for a minute, pondering her statement. He knew that she was right, it was both of their careers on the line and he knew that he had dragged Samantha into the situation. He was the married one, he was the one who kept information from her to rekindle their relationship, it should be him who is the one to pay for his actions. He only hoped that it wouldn't cost him his kids. He raised his head and stared at Samantha in the eyes, "Okay. I'll do it, I'll do whatever it takes."

Samantha did a double-take, she didn't quite believe what she was hearing, had Jack just agreed without any sort of persuading at all? She didn't know what else to say and got up to go back to her desk. She paused at the door to his office and turned around. She saw that he was still sitting, staring at her now vacant chair, perhaps imagining a way to settle his divorce or perhaps imagining a happier life, one with Samantha. Softly she spoke, "Thank you." Then she left the office and slumped into her chair at her desk. She could feel Martin's eyes on her, but she didn't want to talk, didn't want to talk to anybody. She hoped that things would get better, that she would forgive Jack, that she would continue her new found friendship with Martin. She knew that it would take time, but she was a very impatient person.

TBC

* * *

_A/N: This chapter was for Spikey. I wasn't inspired to do a confrontation between Samantha and Jack, but due to her insistence in multiple reviews, I felt that I should write this as a thank you to her faithful reading. I hope that I did it justice. And I want to thank everyone else for continuing to review—only two more chapters to go._


	33. Planting Seeds

Chapter 33 – Planting Seeds  
_Wednesday, September 22, 2004_

Life continued for Samantha without any more unusual activities, day in and day out she came to work and went home alone to her apartment that still gave her an occasional chill. She barely spoke to Jack, usually only during team meetings and he never paired the two of them up for an assignment. Martin continued to ask her to dinner or some weekend event, but merely as a friend. He had moved on, started dating some Trixie or Muffin, something like that. Martin didn't talk to Samantha about her.

The deposition had come and gone, she had talked openly about her feelings and realized that those feelings were actually gone, not just faded as she had thought before. Jack settled his divorce in a very disadvantageous way, but he never spoke of it to Samantha except to tell her that she was off the hook. She could tell that he was hurting, he was the first one in the office and the last to leave, his eyes were sunken from lack of sleep, and she caught him looking at her when he thought that she wouldn't notice.

She forged on, content with her work and tried to settle back into her 'post-Jack, pre-Martin routine.' She was surprised at how often she was aware of her loneliness. She had never noticed it before, but caught herself picking up the phone to call Martin, then stopping herself remembering that he had someone in his life.

On this Wednesday morning, Martin approached Samantha at her desk and asked her to go to lunch with him. Usually he'd been meeting Buffy at lunchtime so the invitation was unexpected. "Uh, sure Martin, anything up?"

"No, I just wanted to spend some time with my friend," Martin replied casually.

She reached for her jacket and left with Martin. She had expected to walk to a nearby café, but instead Martin led her to one of the government cars and without questioning him she got in. They drove to a restaurant that he knew she liked. She tried to sound upbeat, but knew that something was wrong, "Hey this is a great place, what's the special occasion?"

Martin looked at her, his eyes dull and dark, "Uh, well, I was just feeling a little blue and thought you'd be just the person to cheer me up."

Samantha nodded, "What happened Martin?"

"Jordan and I broke up," he answered.

Jordan, that was Buffy's real name, she recalled. Samantha tried to sound sympathetic, but she hadn't know much about their relationship so she thought it was going to be hard to comfort him. Still she knew that she had to try. "Martin, I'm so sorry. I didn't know anything was wrong between you two."

"Well, there wasn't anything really wrong, it just wasn't working out."

"Why don't you tell me what felt wrong, it'll feel better if you let it out," Samantha suggested.

Martin shrugged, he knew what the problem was between him and Jordan and he knew that he couldn't tell Samantha. He wondered why he had asked her to lunch anyway, but he knew the answer to that too. He wanted to be with her and still, after all this time, he wanted to be more than friends. He looked at Samantha and saw her waiting for an answer, but he wondered, "how do I tell you it's because she isn't you?" He let the silence linger and Samantha realized that he didn't want to talk about it.

She tried to make small talk to change the subject and Martin was grateful for the distraction. "So do you have your bar hopping clothes ready for tonight's surveillance?" she asked him.

"Yeah, they are back at the office. I really hope that we get something tonight, none of our other leads are panning out." He was frustrated, like the rest of the team, that they had not found the 21 year-old college student who had gone missing on Monday, but they had a lead. They knew that she was last seen with a guy in his thirties who frequented the bar they were going to go to. The whole team was working tonight and Martin and Samantha had been assigned to watch him from the inside while the others were in their cars set to follow him when he left. The hope was that he would meet with someone important or go to her after he was done at the bar.

* * *

Samantha was bored after twenty minutes. Stakeouts are not that exciting, but at least she had her eye on the suspect and wasn't waiting outside in a car growing colder by the minute. She and Martin had sidled up to the bar and were trying to look casual while watching Matt Fields, the suspect. He was an arrogant guy, hitting on several women whether they were available or not. Samantha smiled a bit though because he got shot down every time. It didn't look like he was waiting to meet anybody so they were just biding time. Despite his discouraging results, Fields continued to drink and hit on the bar patrons, showing no sign of wanting to leave.

She and Martin talked, but didn't have anything too eventful to discuss. Samantha wanted to ask Martin about Janice—was that her name?—but didn't know if he'd want to talk about it, especially while they were working. She decided to keep her mouth shut.

Martin watched Fields intently, this was their only lead and he didn't want the guy to get away. For some reason the usual banter between he and Samantha was not forthcoming tonight, so they both tried to force some conversation to maintain a cover as they watched Fields. Every so often Martin's eyes would leave the suspect and pan the crowd, he wanted to be sure he didn't miss any signals or signs from a possible accomplice.

On one such search of the crowd his eyes were drawn to the bar entrance and the appearance of Robert James. Martin immediately recalled the man that both Samantha and he had interviewed in the disappearance of a wealthy industrialist. At first he hoped that the man would not remember either him or Samantha, but then he thought back to the interview and how James had propositioned Samantha throughout. He knew that if James saw them the man would come over for a second chance at picking up Samantha. With his only thought being to avoid their cover being blown he pulled Samantha to him and kissed her. It was a smothering type of kiss because he was trying to shield both of their faces from James, who had just glanced in their direction. He realized that Samantha must have seen James as well for she had returned his kiss rather than pull away in confusion. Martin kept his arms wrapped around Samantha until he saw James enter an adjacent room then he pulled back.

Samantha's eyes were fixed on Fields, he was trying to sweet talk some unsuspecting female when all of the sudden Martin's lips were pressed against hers. The swiftness of the action took her by surprise and she reacted by instinct rather than by thought. His lips were soft and urgent and her body responded by accepting the kiss. Finally, her brain re-engaged and she realized that she was kissing Martin. A flood of emotions came over her and she became aware that she was still kissing him and enjoying it. She wrapped her arms around Martin, enjoying the closeness of his body. Then, without notice, the kiss ended as abruptly as it had begun.

"Good, I don't think that he saw us," Martin exclaimed in relief.

Samantha wondered what Martin was talking about. "Who didn't see us?" she asked tentatively.

Martin couldn't figure out why Samantha appeared confused, he knew that she'd seen James, it was why she had kissed him back, wasn't it? But instead of probing deeper he answered her question, "Robert James, he just came into the bar and I didn't want him to recognize us. I didn't know how to disguise ourselves, so I kissed you to hide our faces."

"Yeah, right, good cover," Samantha responded, trying to process the information. Inside she felt a bit disappointed knowing that Martin hadn't meant the kiss in any real way; it had just been a ruse to protect their surveillance operation. Remembering their purpose for being there she glanced at Fields, but he was continuing to make his way around the bar to all of the women.

Despite Samantha's words, Martin saw a look of confusion on her face, then he realized what she must be feeling. He had acted without thinking, but now he realized that if Samantha hadn't know why he was kissing her she would be confused given their history. He figured that she thought he was making an attempt to forgo their friendship and move beyond to a more complicated relationship. He felt horrible and wished that he could kick himself, "Oh, Samantha, I hope you know that was purely cover. You know just two agents working together in the field. Although that wouldn't have worked as well for me if you'd have been Danny." He plastered on a nervous smile and forced himself to laugh at his joke.

Samantha was just as eager as Martin to bypass the awkward situation so she agreed, "Yeah, definitely, cover." But she knew that she hadn't been pretending to kiss Martin, she had enjoyed it and wished that they weren't working so she could pursue another.

Martin's voice brought her out of her daydream, "Hey, it looks like Fields is finally ready to leave, we'd better alert the team." He left to give word to the team and Samantha sat alone pondering the seed that had been planted in her head, wondering if she had made a mistake by turning down Martin a few months ago.

TBC


	34. A Happy Ending PG13 Rated Version

Chapter 34 – A Happy Ending (PG13 Rated Version)  
_Wednesday Late Night, September 22, 2004_

Martin and Samantha had used one of the undercover cars for the surveillance and they had to return it to the office before heading home. It was nearly midnight and Samantha called out, "Taxi." The yellow cab drove on by.

Martin reasoned, "There should be one soon."

Another drove by and Samantha called out again, "Taxi." The cab rolled to a stop.

Martin spoke, "I guess I'll see you tomorrow."

"Yeah."

"Good night."

"Good night," she said and headed for the waiting cab. Martin stepped back onto the curb to look for his own ride home when Samantha, standing at the cab door, turned back to look at him. "Hey, Martin."

"Yeah?"

"You want to share a cab?" she asked.

Martin recalled the same incident from months previous and played out the script, not knowing where it was going to go. "I live uptown," he even pointed, just like last time.

Samantha was re-enacting the night also, "Yeah, I know." As assent to her offer, Martin headed toward the taxi and climbed in next to Samantha.

After being so bold, Samantha was suddenly shy and realized she didn't know what she was doing. She had acted in the moment with fresh memories of their kiss lingering. She felt uneasy and started back-peddling fast, "Uh, I thought that we could have some dinner at my place. I'm starved, but don't want to go anywhere this late."

Martin was still playing out the scenario, wondering where Samantha wanted to go with it, unaware that she had no plan. "Yeah, dinner sounds good ... I guess."

Samantha sensed disappointment in Martin's voice, but decided not to let it get to her. At her apartment, she busied herself in the kitchen scraping together something delicious and quick, she really was starving. With Martin's help—after all she wasn't much of a cook—it was ready and they sat at the table and quickly downed their meal. During dinner Martin resigned himself to the fact that Samantha didn't mean anything by the invitation to her place that night. After accepting this, he was able to enjoy the meal and the company.

However, Samantha was not enjoying herself. She was conflicted, on the one hand she was pleased that her friendship with Martin had grown and didn't want to ruin that, but on the other hand she thought that he looked yummy and wanted to push aside her food and eat him instead. She didn't know where these feelings were coming from, but she knew that after Martin kissed her tonight the way she thought about Martin had changed. She wondered if she had missed her chance. Had Martin really moved on?

Dinner was done and Martin grabbed his jacket and moved toward the door, "Well, it's late and we have a lot of paperwork to finish tomorrow. I'll see you at the office."

Samantha knew that she couldn't let him leave, she didn't know when she'd get another chance so she blurted out, "Leave? No, no, we have to have dessert. Don't you want dessert?" She grabbed his arm and pulled him toward the sofa, practically pushing him into it.

Martin was befuddled, Samantha had been acting strange all through dinner and he would have sworn that he was picking up mixed signals had he not been sure that she wanted to remain purely plutonic friends. However, he really was tired and didn't have much patience left for Samantha's game, whatever it was. He started to protest, but Samantha shushed him, "It'll only take a minute. Put your feet up." And to encourage him to stay she propped his feet on the couch and removed his shoes.

She rushed into the kitchen and damned herself because she didn't have any dessert, she didn't have a plan. Her hands clenched the countertop, while her heart beat quickly and her stomach did flip-flops. She realized that she had it bad for Martin and wondered if this was how he had felt every time he tried to ask her out. She decided that she'd have to go back to the living room and just tell Martin, tell him that she didn't have any dessert and that, if she wasn't too late, she wanted to ... "to what," she thought. "To start a romantic relationship, how corny is that? To get to know him better," her thoughts drifted, definitely to get to know his body better. "Stop it," she told herself. "To, to kiss him. Yes, I'll start with a kiss," she thought.

With an unsteady push off of the counter she propelled herself into the other room to face Martin. She walked slowly toward the couch and saw that Martin had placed a pillow beneath his head and his eyes were shut, his breathing even. She realized that he had fallen asleep while she fought with herself about how to approach him.

She thought that he looked handsome, the tension was released from his body and he smiled as if dreaming of something good. She reached over him and pulled a blanked off the back of the couch. Starting at his feet she draped the blanket over him. At his shoulder she bent near him and tucked the blanket in around them. She noticed that he had dropped his wallet on the floor and she knelt down to retrieve it. She turned her head and was face-to-face with him and she stared at his eyelids, willing them to open. But they didn't. Again, she thought about how peaceful he looked sleeping and she reached out and touched his cheek. She let her hand linger there, feeling the warmth radiating from his face. On impulse she leaned forward and, before she could stop herself, she kissed his lips, with gentle pressure, but more intensely than a light peck.

Before opening his eyes, Martin sensed a softness on his lips. He assumed he was still dreaming and he pictured Samantha in his mind and returned the kiss.

Samantha felt Martin's lips part in response to her advance and without thinking she kissed him more deeply, revealing her need for him to him.

Martin didn't want to open his eyes, for fear that the magically real dream would come to an end, but curiosity got the better of him. He had to know if Samantha was actually in front of him, kissing him passionately. His eyes fluttered open and he forced himself to blink, still partly believing that he was dreaming. He pulled back, "Samantha? ..." he wanted to say more, but she stopped him.

She shook her head and whispered, "Don't say anything." She dropped her hand from his face and found his hand. She eased him up off the couch and hand-in-hand led him into the bedroom. Standing beside the bed she kissed him again and let her hands feel their way around his chest. She found the buttons of his shirt and began slowly undoing them.

Martin grabbed for her hands and held them still within his own. He pulled away from Samantha's lips and looked longingly at her, "Sam, I have to ask. Is this what you really want?"

A huge smile spread across her face as she realized that it was what she had wanted for a long time. She nodded and answered, "Yes."

Upon hearing that one simple word Martin swept Samantha up in his arms and placed her gently on the bed. Samantha and Martin had officially taken the next step.

Afterward, Martin, not taking his eyes off of her beautiful naked body, asked, "What made you change your mind?"

Samantha contemplated the question and answered honestly, "In my heart I've wanted you since you told me how you felt, but I followed my mind. I thought that my feelings for you developed too quickly and weren't to be trusted, but ... when you kissed me tonight it brought back all of those feelings and I couldn't think of any reasons to deny them now. So I guess my heart changed my mind."

* * *

_A/N: That's the end of my story, but it's only the beginning for Samantha and Martin. I hope that you enjoyed my take on what could have/should have/will never happen on the show during its summer break. Thank you for reading and reviewing, it has made the hiatus more bearable. I hope that you enjoy tomorrow night's season premiere._


	35. A Happy Ending R Rated Version

_A/N: Disclaimer – I do not claim to know how to write smut, but enjoy reading it so I thought, since I've already given the story an R rating, this would be an appropriate ending.

* * *

_Chapter 34 – A Happy Ending (R Rated Version)  
_Wednesday Late Night, September 22, 2004_

Martin and Samantha had used one of the undercover cars for the surveillance and they had to return it to the office before heading home. It was nearly midnight and Samantha called out, "Taxi." The yellow cab drove on by.

Martin reasoned, "There should be one soon."

Another drove by and Samantha called out again, "Taxi." The cab rolled to a stop.

Martin spoke, "I guess I'll see you tomorrow."

"Yeah."

"Good night."

"Good night," she said and headed for the waiting cab. Martin stepped back onto the curb to look for his own ride home when Samantha, standing at the cab door, turned back to look at him. "Hey, Martin."

"Yeah?"

"You want to share a cab?" she asked.

Martin recalled the same incident from months previous and played out the script, not knowing where it was going to go. "I live uptown," he even pointed, just like last time.

Samantha was re-enacting the night also, "Yeah, I know." As assent to her offer, Martin headed toward the taxi and climbed in next to Samantha.

After being so bold, Samantha was suddenly shy and realized she didn't know what she was doing. She had acted in the moment with fresh memories of their kiss lingering. She felt uneasy and started back-peddling fast, "Uh, I thought that we could have some dinner at my place. I'm starved, but don't want to go anywhere this late."

Martin was still playing out the scenario, wondering where Samantha wanted to go with it, unaware that she had no plan. "Yeah, dinner sounds good ... I guess."

Samantha sensed disappointment in Martin's voice, but decided not to let it get to her. At her apartment, she busied herself in the kitchen scraping together something delicious and quick, she really was starving. With Martin's help—after all she wasn't much of a cook—it was ready and they sat at the table and quickly downed their meal. During dinner Martin resigned himself to the fact that Samantha didn't mean anything by the invitation to her place that night. After accepting this, he was able to enjoy the meal and the company.

However, Samantha was not enjoying herself. She was conflicted, on the one hand she was pleased that her friendship with Martin had grown and didn't want to ruin that, but on the other hand she thought that he looked yummy and wanted to push aside her food and eat him instead. She didn't know where these feelings were coming from, but she knew that after Martin kissed her tonight the way she thought about Martin had changed. She wondered if she had missed her chance. Had Martin really moved on?

Dinner was done and Martin grabbed his jacket and moved toward the door, "Well, it's late and we have a lot of paperwork to finish tomorrow. I'll see you at the office."

Samantha knew that she couldn't let him leave, she didn't know when she'd get another chance so she blurted out, "Leave? No, no, we have to have dessert. Don't you want dessert?" She grabbed his arm and pulled him toward the sofa, practically pushing him into it.

Martin was befuddled, Samantha had been acting strange all through dinner and he would have sworn that he was picking up mixed signals had he not been sure that she wanted to remain purely plutonic friends. However, he really was tired and didn't have much patience left for Samantha's game, whatever it was. He started to protest, but Samantha shushed him, "It'll only take a minute. Put your feet up." And to encourage him to stay she propped his feet on the couch and removed his shoes.

She rushed into the kitchen and damned herself because she didn't have any dessert, she didn't have a plan. Her hands clenched the countertop, while her heart beat quickly and her stomach did flip-flops. She realized that she had it bad for Martin and wondered if this was how he had felt every time he tried to ask her out. She decided that she'd have to go back to the living room and just tell Martin, tell him that she didn't have any dessert and that, if she wasn't too late, she wanted to ... "to what," she thought. "To start a romantic relationship, how corny is that? To get to know him better," her thoughts drifted, definitely to get to know his body better. "Stop it," she told herself. "To, to kiss him. Yes, I'll start with a kiss," she thought.

With an unsteady push off of the counter she propelled herself into the other room to face Martin. She walked slowly toward the couch and saw that Martin had placed a pillow beneath his head and his eyes were shut, his breathing even. She realized that he had fallen asleep while she fought with herself about how to approach him.

She thought that he looked handsome, the tension was released from his body and he smiled as if dreaming of something good. She reached over him and pulled a blanked off the back of the couch. Starting at his feet she draped the blanket over him. At his shoulder she bent near him and tucked the blanket in around them. She noticed that he had dropped his wallet on the floor and she knelt down to retrieve it. She turned her head and was face-to-face with him and she stared at his eyelids, willing them to open. But they didn't. Again, she thought about how peaceful he looked sleeping and she reached out and touched his cheek. She let her hand linger there, feeling the warmth radiating from his face. On impulse she leaned forward and, before she could stop herself, she kissed his lips, with gentle pressure, but more intensely than a light peck.

Before opening his eyes, Martin sensed a softness on his lips. He assumed he was still dreaming and he pictured Samantha in his mind and returned the kiss.

Samantha felt Martin's lips part in response to her advance and without thinking she kissed him more deeply, revealing her need for him to him.

Martin didn't want to open his eyes, for fear that the magically real dream would come to an end, but curiosity got the better of him. He had to know if Samantha was actually in front of him, kissing him passionately. His eyes fluttered open and he forced himself to blink, still partly believing that he was dreaming. He pulled back, "Samantha? ..." he wanted to say more, but she stopped him.

She shook her head and whispered, "Don't say anything." She dropped her hand from his face and found his hand. She eased him up off the couch and hand-in-hand led him into the bedroom. Standing beside the bed she kissed him again and let her hands feel their way around his chest. She found the buttons of his shirt and began slowly undoing them.

Martin grabbed for her hands and held them still within his own. He pulled away from Samantha's lips and looked longingly at her, "Sam, I have to ask. Is this what you really want?"

A huge smile spread across her face as she realized that it was what she had wanted for a long time. She nodded and answered, "Yes."

Upon hearing that one simple word Martin swept Samantha up in his arms and placed her gently on the bed. The movement caused Samantha's breath to catch in her throat. Martin finished unbuttoning his shirt and pulled the cloth from his muscular chest and toned arms. His movements were slow and Samantha took in every inch of his body. She waited and the anticipation within her grew to a greater need than she thought possible. Finally, he leaned over her and she was able to reach up and touch the skin that she so desperately wanted to taste.

Martin could wait no longer to feel Samantha's mouth upon his, he bent toward her and let his naked chest brush upon hers. He quickly moved his kisses to her neck and let his lips linger there. However, he was stopped from continuing his exploration of her body by her shirt. Sensing his frustration, Samantha sat up and took her turn at making Martin wait. Straddling his legs, she lifted her shirt up over her head and Martin let out a low moan at the sight of her milky skin. His patience was exhausted, he strained to reach her and brought his mouth up to her still covered breasts, but she wasn't done playing with him yet, though the sight of his taut stomach muscles sent a shiver of pleasure running up her spine.

She stood next to the bed and enjoyed watching his expression as she removed her pants. She turned around and positioned herself in front of the mirror so that Martin had a full view of both sides of her. With one hand she removed the clasp holding her hair in its upswept 'do.

Martin watched, breathless, as Samantha's golden locks fell around her shapely shoulders and rested lightly on the tops of her breasts. Then he saw the full view of her aroused nipples as her bra fell to the ground. Martin wasted no more time on merely looking at her beauty, he needed to touch it, to feel it, to caress it, and he crawled toward her. He grabbed the back of her arm and turned her to face him. He pulled her down onto the bed and covered her in kisses, he tried to touch every inch of her body, as if memorizing it in case he really was still dreaming.

Before Martin had even taken his own pants off, Samantha came, moaning in pleasure, calling out his name. Martin's need was suppressed, for the moment, by Samantha's pleasure. Samantha still wanted Martin, more than she'd ever wanted anyone and she wasted no time helping Martin out of the rest of his clothing. As he entered her body, it was as if a blinding force took over both of them. The moment was pure ecstasy as Martin, skillfully and easily brought her to climax again and then peaked himself.

She lay next to him in his arms—his gorgeous, loving and caring arms. Neither spoke, neither could come up with words of great enough magnitude to capture the night, but both knew that they had officially taken the next step.

Later, Martin, not taking his eyes off of her beautiful naked body, spoke, "What made you change your mind?"

Samantha contemplated the question and answered honestly, "In my heart I've wanted you since you told me how you felt, but I followed my mind. I thought that my feelings for you developed too quickly and weren't to be trusted, but ... when you kissed me tonight it brought back all of those feelings and I couldn't think of any reasons to deny them now. So I guess my heart changed my mind."

* * *

_A/N: That's the end of my story, but it's only the beginning for Samantha and Martin. I hope that you enjoyed my take on what could have/should have/will never happen on the show during its summer break. Thank you for reading and reviewing, it has made the hiatus more bearable. I hope that you enjoy tomorrow night's season premiere._


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